Move over Diaper-Girl
There's a juicier tale for the media to tell .. and tell .. and tell ..
Just when you think an astronaut driving 900 miles wearing a wig, trench coat and a diaper, to confront her romantic rival with pepper spray, a BB gun, a mallet and a knife, is bizarre enough ..
.. here comes the mysterious death of a former Playboy playmate, jeans model, widow of a 90 y/o oil tycoon and reality TV star .. who has a baby and two guys claiming to be the father .. and a paternity test will have to determine who will control the baby's ton of money, which is waiting in some Texas court.
Wouldn't it be even weirder if neither one fathered the baby?
The only people who will benefit from all this grief are the lawyers.
You can't make this stuff up .. and I see made-for-TV-movie written all over both these stories.
Yep, astronaut Nowak can relax, something even more tabloid-licious came along and knocked her off the headlines. No doubt the media will be full of Anna Nicole stories and every detail of her messed-up life will be picked over relentlessly for weeks to come.
And there goes another two weeks of coverage taken from Iraq .. which just ended its deadliest month. It says a lot about our current culture of celebrity that we're paying such attention to a love-crazed astronaut and a dead fame-crazed pin-up girl while our country slips further down the rathole.
It struck me how much Lisa Nowak and Anna Nicole Smith are such diametric opposites. Geekiness, meet sexiness. Nowak, the astronaut, was the woman who went into the male-dominated field of mechanical engineering, and then on to NASA -- Smith, the sex goddess exhibionist who rose from burger stand waitress to nudie queen in Playboy, and is famous only for her messy life and spilling out of her dress.
But, we should all remember that at the center of Anna Nicole's mess is an actual person, a child, who can’t even walk or talk yet .. and didn’t ask to be born into such chaos and controversy.
What an awful start in life for this little baby girl. Her brother died days after she was born, and now her mother is dead .. all before she turns a year old. What awaits her in life? Sadly she will be the focus of morbid curiosity and will probably be in the spotlight as much as her mother was .. certainly a pawn in a tug-of-war over all those millions of dollars. She might not even be safe ..
I also feel sorry for Nowak's children .. the saddest part of her story. Will they ever heal correctly with all the media coverage that's invaded their lives? Imagine them trying to go to school and act normal.
And speaking of sad .. don't think I have forgotten all the children who have had a parent killed in Iraq.
Anyway, Nowak won't be forgotten by the late-night TV hosts. As Jon Stewart said on "The Daily Show" .. things haven’t been this good for television comics since the vice president shot an old man in the face.
I don't think they'll make too many jokes about Anna Nicole's death ..
Will they?
