Sooner Be Blue

Mostly politics, a few current events, a squirt of seltzer down yer pants .. a little blog for my rambles and rants.

2007/10/31

Yet another GOP sex scandal

@ 07:19 AM (24 months, 18 days ago)
 
Yes, another hypocritical "family values" Republican is being investigated for paying a man to have sex with him...a blackmailer no less.
 
If these guys were Dems, it would be front page/breaking news.
 
"SPOKANE -- State Representative Richard Curtis says he's not gay, but police reports and court records indicate the Republican lawmaker from southwestern Washington dressed up in women's lingerie and met a Medical Lake man in a local erotic video store which led to consensual sex at a downtown hotel and a threat to expose Curtis' activities publicly.[..]"
 
http://www.kxly.com/news/?sect_rank=1&section_id=559&story_id=15425
 
A cross-dressing Republican ... women's lingerie ... erotic video store ... consensual [gay] sex in video booth and hotel room ... is that it?
 
Dang, some Republicans have no imagination anymore! No teenage boys, animals, religious figurines, or sporting equipment? This guy should be kicked out of the GOP! He's almost normal!
 
These days if you aren't found dangling from a ceiling beam wearing at least two wetsuits with a dildo shoved up your nether regions, you're not considered adventurous.
 
Republican politicians may not have invented kinky, but they've certainly elevated it to an art form.
 
Rep. Curtis is married with children and has denied being gay. Sound familiar? He's going with the "helping someone" defense as opposed to the "wide stance" defense.
 
The best defense/excuse of all time came from that Florida Republican who offered $20 to a black man for oral sex in a public bathroom -- he said he was scared he was going to be robbed.
 
Some of us can't help being amused to see the parrot people fall one by one as their dirty laundry comes out into the open, because the hate mongers in the Republican party are so deadly serious about making life difficult for gays.
 
Yet, after all the snickers die down, as with Sen. Larry Craig, Curtis is just another sad story. It's not easy being gay in such a sexually-repressed party.
 
I believe in live and let live ... it's their hypocrisy that I have to speak out against:
 
"Elected to the state House of Representatives in 2004, Curtis has voted like a fiscal and social conservative. This spring, he voted against domestic partnerships for gay and lesbian couples. Last year, he opposed a gay rights bill that banned discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. - Washington Spokesman Review "
 
http://www.spokesmanreview.com/tools/story_breakingnews_pf.asp?ID=12142
 
Larry Craig voted the same way. So many of these people seem to be in such conflict with themselves that they have to make other people's lives miserable only to prove how heterosexual they are.
 
Until all these Republican gay sex scandals, I had no IDEA that the old saying "every homophobe is a closet gay" might contain a grain of truth.
 
But, it sure seems that the more virulently homophobic they are, the deeper they're in the closet. This is a generalization of course, but it's true often enough to be a factor when you're sizing up somebody's character.
 
I'm thinking Ann Coulter........
 

2007/10/30

Yeah, but he'll still get his Presidential Medal of Freedom ..right?

@ 08:18 AM (24 months, 19 days ago)

The man who staged a fake FEMA news conference has lost a chance to be National Intelligence Director Mike McConnell's top public information officer.
 
Top public information officer! Imagine all the fake news we were in for.
 
The Feds obviously think we're stupid. I wonder why.
 
From the Washington Post, October 30:
"The Federal Emergency Management Agency's director of external communications was denied a post as senior spokesman for Director of National Intelligence Mike McConnell yesterday, becoming the highest-ranking casualty of a fake news conference staged by FEMA last week to publicize its response to California's devastating wildfires.
 
The flap is not the first time FEMA or its parent Department of Homeland Security has been on the wrong end of a public relations move that backfired. Rather, it fits a pattern in which domestic security officials have mismanaged the public presentation of their efforts, whether those efforts are going well or poorly.[..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/2opo6o
 
He didn't even say anything about spending more time with his family ...and let's hope the press conference that deals with this issue is real.
 
Oooh, this is setting a dangerous precedent, what if congresscritters could be fired for dishonesty? Or a President and Vice President?
 
I think the fact that this happened during his first days on the job, and that he tried pulling this stunt during an emergency, is a telling factor of the kind of hand picked kool-aid fools they hire.
 
That this guy could be so deceitful AND could get people to play along to stage a phony news conference is amazing.
 
The irony of it all is that FEMA was generally getting good reviews for its job performance in California. I'll say it again -- this White House can't stop lying even when it's doing good. How stupid, clumsy and self-defeating can they be?
 
But, maybe the outing of this fake news incident has a silver lining ...because had the new job gone through, this man and his principles would have been in place and undetected.
 
And this is just the ones who have been caught ..........
 
I only wish they could fire Bush over all of his fake "town hall" meetings.
 

2007/10/29

Cowboys who talk the crazy talk, might have to walk the crazy walk

@ 07:04 AM (24 months, 20 days ago)
I am busy with out of town visitors ...anyway, MoDo always says what I think better than I can....
 
Madness as Method
By MAUREEN DOWD, NYTimes Op-Ed Columnist
 
Dick Cheney’s craziness used to influence foreign policy.
 
Now it is foreign policy.
 
He may have lost his buddy in belligerence, Rummy. He may have tapped out the military in Iraq. He may not be able to persuade Congress so easily anymore — except for Hillary — to issue warlike resolutions. He can’t cow Condi into supporting his bullying as he once did, and Bob Gates is doing his best to instill some common sense.
 
Besides, Cheney is running out of time to wreak global havoc; he’s working for a president who is spending his waning days on the job trying to prevent children from getting health insurance.
 
But the vice president may have hit on a devious tactic used by his old boss Richard Nixon.
 
President Nixon and Henry Kissinger liked to use madness as a method. In 1969, Nixon told Kissinger to caution the Soviet ambassador that Nixon was “out of control” on Indochina, and could do something drastic.
 
Three months earlier, as Anthony Summers wrote in “The Arrogance of Power: The Secret World of Richard Nixon,” “Kissinger had sent that very same message by proxy when he instructed Len Garment, about to leave on a trip to Moscow, to give the Soviets ‘the impression that Nixon is somewhat “crazy” — immensely intelligent, well organized and experienced to be sure, but at moments of stress or personal challenge unpredictable and capable of the bloodiest brutality.’ Garment carried out the mission, telling a senior Brezhnev adviser that Nixon was ‘a dramatically disjointed personality ... more than a little paranoid ... when necessary, a cold-hearted butcher.’ ” All of which, his aides later reflected, was kind of true.
 
Cheney seems to enjoy giving the impression that he is loony enough to pull off an attack on Iran before leaving office — even if he has to do it alone, like Slim Pickens riding the bomb down in “Dr. Strangelove” to the sentimental tune of “We’ll Meet Again.” He has even begun referring to his nickname, Darth Vader, noting that it “is one of the nicer things I’ve been called recently.”
 
Darth shook his fist against Iran again on Sunday, calling Tehran “the world’s most active state sponsor of terror” and vowing “serious consequences.”
Yet the administration’s policy in northern Iraq is another adventure in hypocrisy, according to a story yesterday by The Times’s Richard Oppel. The administration expresses solidarity with Turkey and tries to negotiate when Kurdish militants make raids against the Turks. But when Kurdish guerrillas stalk and kill Iranian forces, “the Americans offer Iran little sympathy.”
 
“Tehran even says Washington aids the Iranian guerrillas, a charge the United States denies,” Oppel writes.
 
The neocons who have their heart set on bombing Iran to stop I’m-a-Dinner-Jacket and the mullahs from getting nuclear capability were thrilled and emboldened by the placid reaction to the Israeli air strike on Syria.
 
The hawks are pounding the drums on Iran as they once did on Iraq, acting as if the hourglass is running out and we have to act immediately or, as the president apocalyptically suggested last week, we could be facing World War III.
 
Or World War IV, as Norman Podhoretz, a neocon who is a top Giuliani adviser, says. Podhoretz urges bombing Iran “as soon as it is logistically possible” and likened Ahmadinejad to Hitler, as Poppy Bush did with Saddam.
 
Rudy is using his more martial attitude toward Iran as a weapon against Hillary, painting her as a delicate ditherer on the topic, and Obama is using his more diplomatic attitude toward Iran as a weapon against Hillary, painting her as a triangulator and a two-time administration patsy.
 
In his new book, the former U.N. Ambassador John Bolton scornfully accuses Colin Powell, and later Condi Rice, of appeasing Iran, including some carrots to get them to cease their nuclear plans.
 
A top Bush 41 national security official told me shortly after Bush 43 got under way that the younger Bush team’s foreign policy was dangerous because it was so “black and white,” so dependent on “bogymen.”
 
President Bush has settled on his new bogyman, once more ignoring the obvious choice of Osama. Yesterday, he defended his plans to build a missile defense system in Europe by raising the specter of Iran’s nuclear ambitions.
 
Hit with sticks, the bogyman responded with sticks. He said that Iran will not negotiate with anyone about its right to nuclear technology.
 
As Pat Buchanan noted on “Hardball,” “Cheney and Bush are laying down markers for themselves which they’re going to have to meet. I don’t see how ... Bush and Cheney can avoid attacking Iran and retaining their credibility going out of office.”
 
In other words, once our cowboys have talked their crazy talk, they have to walk their crazy walk.
 
http://tinyurl.com/2f5qfa

Sometimes we just need a good dog story

@ 06:51 AM (24 months, 20 days ago)
 
"........The puppies have become very good at staying close to the house and come instantly when they're called. So since they stay away from the road that never has any traffic, I often leave them out to play with each other and sniff around the yard and adjoining forest.
 
Sometime toward early mid-morning I'd just gone out, called them and saw they were in good stead. About two minutes later, I was back at the laptop when Lettie came to the door scratching and howling. I told her to calm down. She ignored my suggestion so I got up and opened the door. I petted Lettie and called Lu. From around the corner I heard an oddly muffled bark. Just then Lu staggered into sight, her head stuck in a plastic jar we use to bring kitchen waste to the compost heap.
 
I was overwhelmed by emotions: scared because she was definitely in trouble, annoyed because the jar shouldn't have been out there and amused because with the bubble on her head she looked like Lu, the Outer Space Dog!
 
A moral dilemma arose. Did I get a picture of this ridiculous catastrophe or did I begin the rescue operation without delay? [..]"
 
http://www.barrycrimmins.com/index.php?page=news&display=465
 

2007/10/28

Bill Maher's New Rules 10/28

@ 06:58 AM (24 months, 21 days ago)
 
New Rule: Stop pretending that air fresheners actually freshen the air. Americans are a paradox. We're the nation most obsessed with smelling pleasant, while at the same time, we eat crap that makes our bodies emit clouds of toxic gas. Here's a hint. When you fart and your canary dies, you have a problem that's beyond the capabilities of the Airwick Corporation.
 
New Rule: I don't want to fly on a bus. [slide of Airbus jet] That's why people pay more money to fly! So they don't have to take a bus. And I don't care that it's huge, because I've never once gotten on a flight and thought, boy, I wish there were more people on this plane.
 
New Rule: If your brain is as little as Donald Trump's, and your ass is as wide--you shouldn't call your book, "Think Big and Kick Ass." It's like Rush Limbaugh writing a book called "Be Polite and Don't Make Shit Up."
 
And finally, New Rule: If the choice in '08 is between Rudy and Hillary, "values voters" must do the Christian thing and choose Hillary. Of course, I think all religion is nuts, but at least she practices it the way Jesus suggested: privately. Like a Dick Cheney energy meeting.
 
Plus, she's raised an admirable daughter, while Rudy's kids couldn't hate him more if they were New York City firefighters.
 
And let's not forget, Hillary didn't commit adultery. Her husband did. And afterwards, she did the Christian thing and forgave him. And then she had a GPS unit implanted in his penis. But the important thing is, she forgave him!
 
Now, I bring all this up because they held the "Values Voters Convention" in Washington, D.C. Three days of peace, love and hypocrisy. Where the Republican frontrunners spent the week kissing the asses of 2,000 social conservatives who despise liberals, homosexuals, Muslims, Mexicans and Nobel Prize winners. And who believe the sound of a condom wrapper being opened makes angels die.
 
It's kind of like a "Star Trek" convention, only the virgins are angry--and they think outer space is just a theory. So, Ann Coulter, if you've got any more "f@ggot" jokes, this is the room for you.
 
But - but, here's something I learned while indulging one of my traditional values, reading. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the states with the most conservative Christians have the highest rates of divorce, the highest teen pregnancy rates and the highest obesity levels. Yes, they're fat, knocked up and not talking to each other--but, at least they put homosexuality back where it belongs: in the airport men's room.
 
Now, I know what you "values voters" are saying right now: "Why would we listen to you, Bill Maher? You're a bachelor from heathen California. What do you know about family values?" Well, I know enough not to get married and live in Kansas.
 
And I know that if you can look at the war in Iraq, the melting environments and the descent of America into "idiocracy," and still think our biggest problems are boobies during the Super Bowl and the "war on Christmas," then you don't have values, you have issues.
 
If you had "values," you'd draw the line at torture. But a startling number of people who call themselves Christians don't. And I'm pretty sure if you asked, "What would Jesus veto," it wouldn't be health care for sick kids.
 
Why, it's almost like "values voters" don't really believe Jesus was right about anything. [in mock attack ad voice] "Jesus Christ: wrong on gays, wrong on taxes, wrong on torture, and wrong for America."

2007/10/27

A Heckuva Press Conference

@ 07:40 AM (24 months, 22 days ago)

I'm not a reporter, I just play one at FEMA press conferences.
 
Talk about being in the loop...FEMA stages a phony press conference about the wildfires in Southern California, using FEMA staffers as fake reporters tossing up softball questions for their boss.
 
Yep, FEMA held a press conference with itself...deciding to take this Administration’s fondness for manipulating the press and making up news to a new level.
 
Be sure to send this story to your conservative friends and relatives as an example of the “liberal press” at work.
 
The Bush administration just can't help itself, can it? Looks like the people in this administration can't tell the truth even when they have nothing to hide.
 
Now, I realize FEMA is desperate for some positive PR, but this is beyond pathetic. They should have just stuck with how much better they responded to these fires compared with how they responded to Katrina. But that would be completely ignoring that California wildfires are a semi regular event and there is an existing infrastructure to deal with them...which was not the case with Katrina, where no infrastructure existed to handle anything close to that level of disaster.
 
"FEMA Meets the Press, Which Happens to Be . . . FEMA
 
From The Washington Post, October 26, 2007:
"FEMA has truly learned the lessons of Katrina. Even its handling of the media has improved dramatically. For example, as the California wildfires raged Tuesday, Vice Adm. Harvey E. Johnson, the deputy administrator, had a 1 p.m. news briefing.
 
Reporters were given only 15 minutes' notice of the briefing, making it unlikely many could show up at FEMA's Southwest D.C. offices.
 
........Very smooth, very professional. But something didn't seem right. The reporters were lobbing too many softballs. No one asked about trailers with formaldehyde for those made homeless by the fires. And the media seemed to be giving Johnson all day to wax on and on about FEMA's greatness.
 
Of course, that could be because the questions were asked by FEMA staffers playing reporters.....[..]"
 
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/10/25/AR2007102502488.html
 
Maybe it begs the question: What was FEMA hiding this time around while California was burning down ...and what were they afraid the real press would ask?
 
“…this was thrown together at the last minute.”
 
I don't buy this. The national broadcast media was there (at the last minute) but the Washington news media were not?
 
"White House Press Secretary Dana Perino assured reporters today that the staged news conference organized on Tuesday by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) would not happen again, and said the White House would never employ such tactics at its own press briefings.
 
'It is not a practice that we would employ here at the White House or that we -- we certainly don't condone it,' said Perino."
 
Riiiiiiiight.
 
Maybe nobody told her how a couple of years ago the Bush administration literally paid money to have fake news stories planted in Iraqi newspapers ...or how six years ago the Pentagon started up the supposedly disbanded OSI (Office of Strategic Influence), whose sole job it also was to fabricate news to be passed off as the real thing.
 
I'm convinced that the manipulation of our media is a major reason why we’re in the Iraq war today.
 
I particularly liked the part where FEMA's Admiral Johnson praised the leadership of California and blasted the leadership of Louisiana during Katrina...hinting that it was the primary reason FEMA has acted so “flawlessly” during the California wildfire disaster.
 
You may remember that in the early days after Katrina, hundreds of firefighters sat in Atlanta awaiting deployment to the hurricane zone...and when one group of firefighters was finally sent, it was to serve as a TV backdrop for the President's press conference.
 
How can you tell the difference between ‘real’ reporters and shills anymore? Can you say Jeff Gannon? (A White House reporter planted specifically to ask softball questions ...AND a male prostitute to boot, showing himself naked on his website.)
 
This incident only stresses the importance of a REAL “Press” staying constantly on the heels of the government ... challenging “Big Brother” every step of the way. Something bloggers do very well.
 
FEMA's latest trick is hilarious when you think about it. Here all those wacky 9/11 conspiracy theorists think our government could, plot, plan and execute a very complicated attack on 3000 Americans, a conspiracy involving hundreds, maybe thousands of people -- and have it go off without a hitch -- while our government can't even stage a fake press conference without getting caught.
 
And don't forget ... your tax dollars paid for this fake news conference.

2007/10/26

This is your government high on corruption

@ 08:17 AM (24 months, 23 days ago)

"Kuwaiti firm blamed for Baghdad embassy flaws wins new contracts
WASHINGTON | The Kuwaiti contractor that is building the new U.S. Embassy in Baghdad — behind schedule and plagued by allegations of shoddy construction and safety flaws — is still winning lucrative contracts.
 
Late last month, First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting Co. was part of a team that won a $122 million State Department contract to build a U.S. consulate in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, according to contract documents.
 
That is one of at least three State Department jobs, in addition to the Baghdad project, that First Kuwaiti won in association with a U.S. firm, Grunley Walsh LLC of Rockville, Md. [..]"
 
http://www.kansascity.com/news/nation/story/331904.html
 
Well, isn't it special that the US State Department believes in second chances when it deals with crooked private contractors?
 
First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting Co.-- the firm who is screwing up the construction of our massive US Embassy complex in Baghdad (a small city with hair salons and fast food joints) -- is part of a team that recently won a $122 million State Department contract to build a US consulate in Saudi Arabia.
 
Never mind all the shoddy construction and safety flaws, being behind schedule, charges of criminal misconduct, forced (slave) labor, and cost overruns in the Baghdad project -- the Kuwaiti company is run by a Lebanese businessman who is bosom buddies with Syria and the Iranian-backed Islamic militant group Hezbollah.
 
How about them apples? We reward the bad guys who are in bed with other bad guys who are killing American troops.
 
How fitting that both Inspector General Howard Krongard, and First Kuwaiti are now being investigated by Henry Waxman (D) CA and his House oversight committee. Krongard’s own deputies have accused him of trying to stifle investigations into many of the fraud cases.
 
About that slave labor; I remember a story of First Kuwaiti hiring workers in India by telling them they would be working in Dubai. Then they were sent to Iraq for forced labor under armed guards. The end product has been sub, sub, sub-standard buildings with water and sewage lines leaking through walls.
 
Looks like this pattern of corruption and incompetence is being repeated again and again and again. We need to know whose back pockets all these contracting cronies are in. We'll find bribes, kickbacks, ties to the corporations that are getting the contracts, etc.-- a Kuwaiti corporation may only be a subsidiary FRONT for the same Americans who were behind KBR and Halliburton.
 
We mustn't forget how KBR, the Halliburton subsidiary, was found guilty of offering bribes for contracts, executives taking kickbacks, furnishing contaminated water and food to our troops at outrageous prices, charging our troops $50 for simple laundry, $50 per case of carbonated beverages, charging for services not rendered, fraud, etc. The list of shameless corruption went on and on for four years until the government finally admitted that KBR had violated its contract by hiring Blackwater for security instead of using regular military as their contract clearly stated.
 
Yeah, hard to believe that's why we fired KBR ...what with Blackwater's shenaganins today....
 
Anyway, thanks to the bulldog tenacity of Henry Waxman, KBR finally got fined $163 million and eliminated from future contracts. This led to Halliburton to sell off all stocks in KBR and move its head office to Dubai.
 
I'll bet we find out that First Kuwaiti General Trading & Contracting Co. is a another subsidiary front for the same Americans that were behind KBR and Halliburton.
 
Because this pattern is being repeated again and again and again ...bribes, kickbacks, ties to the corporations that are getting the contracts, etc...etc...etc...
 
Sadly, the United States will forever pay for this administration's long list of stupidity ... well into the next two generations, possibly more. To top it all, the entire Iraq fiasco is financed by government credit cards. Keep your fingers crossed that China doesn't decide to call in all our debts.
 
If you want to know about the depth of this Administration's corruption, read about some suicides: "Suicide Is Not Painless"

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/21/opinion/21rich.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin
 

2007/10/25

Late-night jokes 10/25

@ 05:39 AM (24 months, 24 days ago)
 
"This week, the U.S. Army removed several recruiting ads from a web site because the web site targets homosexual men. The ad said, 'Uncle Sam Wants You ... Bad.'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"President Bush met with the Dalai Lama at the White House. One kind of awkward moment. ... When the Dalai Lama walked into the Oval Office, he was wearing the traditional robe, and, of course, Bush started chanting, 'Toga, Toga!'" --Jay Leno
 
"He was given the Medal of Freedom. As you know, the Dalai Lama does not engage in sex, drugs, alcohol, or tobacco. Which raises the question, what was Congress honoring him for? This goes against everything Congress represents." --Jay Leno
 
"The Dalai Lama told President Bush that he had seen evil firsthand. President Bush said, 'Great, you got to meet Vice President Cheney.'" --Jay Leno
 
"During a speech at the Capitol, the Dalai Lama admitted that his English language skills equal those of a kindergartner's. When he heard this, President Bush said, 'No one likes a show-off.'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"Good news for the terrorists: Undercover agents posing as passengers were able to get simulated bombs through the screening process here at LAX 75% of the time ... but not one drop of shampoo." --Bill Maher
 
"The Turkish Parliament has voted to approve the idea of invading Iraq. President Bush was furious. He said, 'What kind of country takes a vote before it invades Iraq?'" --Bill Maher
 
"How many arch conservatives are here tonight? Sam Brownback has quit the race for president. His supporter is devastated. ... Brownback said he couldn't raise enough money, he couldn't get enough support, and he got tired of carrying around that fetus in a jar. ... He said he knew he made the right decision to get out of the race when he sat down to tell his wife and she said, 'You're running for president?'" --Bill Maher
 
"Two of the defendants in the Jena 6 case ... were guests last night at the BET Hip Hop awards. Wow, that's pretty good for teenage kids, right? They said if they had known they'd be getting this much attention, they would have beat the crap out of a white kid a long time ago." --Bill Maher
 
"More bad news today for Barack Obama. He just found out he's related to Bill O'Reilly too. The guy can't get a break!" --Jay Leno
 
"Screeners at the L.A. International Airport missed 75% of the fake bombs that were sent though the line. However, they did confiscate 100% of people's water bottles" --Jay Leno
 
"Al Gore won an Academy award, an Emmy award, and now he's won a Nobel prize. Honestly, I think it's going to his head. Listen to what happened over the weekend: Al Gore was in a bar screaming, 'Who wants a Nobel prize piece of ass?'" --David Letterman
 
"What a terrific audience we have. We have 500 people here tonight. We have straight people, we have gay people, we have white people, we have black people. It's like a Dick Cheney family reunion." --Jay Leno
 
"Dick Cheney and Barack Obama ... are eighth cousins. Isn't that amazing? Even more amazing, Dick Cheney, Darth Vader -- second cousins." --Jay Leno
 
"A very special edition of 'Dateline' the other night. Matt Lauer interviewed Idaho Senator Larry Craig. Actually, the senator was a little confused. He thought it was 'Win A Date with Matt Lauer.' The senator showed up with flowers, condoms, a six pack of Mike's Hard Lemonade. He was there to party. ... If you didn't see the interview, it will rerun on Bravo on 'Queer Eye For Pretending To Be The Straight Guy.'" --Jay Leno
 
"There was one kind of awkward moment during the interview. During a commercial break, I guess Matt Lauer asked the senator where the bathroom was, and the senator said, 'Any place you want it to be.'" --Jay Leno
 
"According to a new report, security screeners at our nation's airports -- this is scary -- failed to find fake bombs hidden on undercover agents 60% of the time. ... President Bush said today, 'Well, who cares about fake bombs?'" --Jay Leno
 
"Remember 20 years ago, 'Baby Jessica'? She was the little baby who was rescued after falling in a well. Huge story. She's almost 21 now and will soon be getting a million dollars from the funds set up with donations when she fell down the well. She's getting a million dollars. In a related story, earlier today, Senator John McCain threw himself down a well" --Jay Leno
 
"Last week, Vice President Cheney's wife said that Vice President Cheney is actually a distant cousin of Barack Obama. At first Obama was skeptical, then he remembered that his great-great-grandmother once had a demon out of wedlock." --Conan O'Brien
 
"There's a woman who's got an apartment here in New York, in Brooklyn. She goes to the bathroom and there is a 7-foot python in the toilet. It's just coiled up. A giant killer snake in the toilet. I was thinking, usually when you find something coiling around your leg in a restroom, it's Senator Larry Craig" --David Letterman
 
"If gays can't get married, then neither can robots. An artificial intelligence researcher is predicting that someday humans will marry robots. A conclusion based on hundreds of studies in psychology and robotics, and 25 minutes alone with a vacuum cleaner. The robot wife is just like a regular wife, only she doesn't say, "Get off me, you bastard," when you accidentally yell out the wrong model number." --Bill Maher
 
"Rednecks who steamrolled Dixie Chicks CDs four years ago now have to do the same thing to Bruce Springsteen's new anti-war album, and John Mellencamp's anti-war album, and John Fogerty's and Neil Young's. I want to see your irrational hatred of dissent take over until you've got nothing left to listen to but Ted Nugent, Christian rock and the audio version of Charlie Daniels' book, Rah-Rah, Blah-Blah, Woo-Hoo, Yee-Haw." --Bill Maher
 
"The photocopying machine was invented in 1938. You'd think they'd have worked out the kinks by now, but you go into any office in America and you're guaranteed to see two things: a dead ficus tree and a guy fixing the Xerox machine. The one in our office has had more work done on it than Joan Rivers." --Bill Maher
 
"Stop saying that people make bad decisions because they're young. Have you seen this group? [photo of Bush, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, Powell]" --Bill Maher
 

2007/10/24

Fighting earmarks at home, ignoring lost billions in Iraq

@ 11:26 AM (24 months, 24 days ago)
 
$1.2 billion gone ...our government is allowing, or doesn't know how to stop, rampant war profiteering and outright theft of billions of taxpayer dollars by private contractors.
 
"Report: Most of $1.2 billion to train Iraqi police unaccounted for....
(CNN) -- The U.S. State Department is unable to account for most of $1.2 billion in funding that it gave to DynCorp International to train Iraqi police, a government report said Tuesday.
 
"The bottom line is that State can't account for where it went," said Glenn D. Furbish, who was involved in putting together the 20-page report for the special inspector general for Iraq reconstruction (SIGIR).[..]"
 
http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/10/22/dyncorp.spending/index.html
 
Let's see now, about 4 years ago the Bush Administration lost, then wrote off, $9 Billion of the $12 Billion in American "Cash" that it shipped to Iraq. Read about it here:
 
"Between April 2003 and June 2004, $12 billion in U.S. currency...was shipped from the Federal Reserve to Baghdad, where it was dispensed by the Coalition Provisional Authority. Some of the cash went to pay for projects and keep ministries afloat, but, incredibly, at least $9 billion has gone missing, unaccounted for, in a frenzy of mismanagement and greed.[..]"
 
http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2007/10/iraq_billions200710?currentPage=1
 
Well ...at least in this new revelation the Bush Administration can account for some of that $1.5 Billion and they know who (DynaCorp) was in receipt of it.
 
BTW-- if you’re in business with someone and you KNOW that they are cooking the books, you don’t just let them keep on running the operation for you while they find new and more efficient ways to screw you over -- you dump them like a hot potato, you bring charges, you prosecute, you try to recoup some of your losses. You put a stop to it.
 
As for the other lost and long forgotten $9 Billion in US "Cash" -- none of it has ever been located, nor was any of it ever returned. We don't even know whether this money was ever really delivered to Iraq!
 
I don't know of any investigations that were ever launched by the White House or the US Congress to track down whatever happened to that mountain of money ...nor have they ever tried to recover it.
 
Interestingly, or strangely, I haven't heard one peep from any of the 2008 presidential candidates about any of this lost or mismanaged billions of taxpayer dollars ...but they sure do talk a good game of suddenly being so fiscally concerned about the US economy.
 
So...the State Department is unable to account for most of $1.2 Billion that it gave to DynCorp to train Iraqi soldiers and police ...and the Republicans are Bitching about the Democrats wanting to spend money to help millions of American children.
 
20 percent of the SCHIP tab just went POOF into thin air, and Bush won't say a word about it.
 
You know what, bring on the "healthcare for $80,000 incomes" talking points. Bring it on...where would you rather spend your money?
 
The majority of Americans, 80 percent, would much rather see our tax dollars going to benefit American children, than lining the pockets of some greedy CEO who's going to spend it in Dubai.
 
I saw on TV that San Diego doesn't have enough cash to fight fires ...a fire chief lashed out, saying if they'd had enough air support in the very beginning, such as tankers, it would have helped control the fires before they burned homes.
 
Where would you rather spend your money, to help our own people or line the pockets of some greedy DynCorp CEO?
 
And after losing $9 Billion and another $1.2 Billion, and after vetoing $5 Billion for sick American children, Bush is asking for another $50 Billion for the war.
And Congress will probably give it to him.
 
Everyone should read this:
 
http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/story/16076312/the_great_iraq_swindle
 
Where's the money? Under the corporate mattress?
 
In Bahamian real estate?
 
No wonder KBR (Kellogg Brown & Root) is moving offshore.
 

2007/10/23

Someone's been into Rush's oxy stash

@ 07:21 AM (24 months, 26 days ago)

Quote of the Day:
"I think there is a handful of people who hate America. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them are losing their homes in a forest fire today." -- CNN and syndicated radio host Glenn Beck, on the wildfires that have raged across San Diego county, killing at least one person, injuring four firefighters, scorching 100,000 acres, and driving 250,000 people from their homes.
 
http://mediamatters.org/items/200710220003
 
(Yes, it is a Media Matters link ...but when you hear the video and read it in detail the old ploy about going after the website to turn attention away from what Beck said simply won’t wash ...except those whose sole goal in life is to demonize the opposition.)
 
Couldn’t Beck just set aside his bitter partisanship and demonizing and stop belittling the suffering of others while 250,000 people flee their homes?
 
And someone should tell him that mostly Republican, conservative, solidly pro-American San Diego appears to be among the hardest hit areas.
 
On TV I saw San Diegans desperate and trying to help each other ...pizzeria owners offering free pizzas, taxi drivers offering free rides, San Diegans offering their property to temporarily shelter displaced animals. Shopkeepers offering food, clothes, medicines. I saw a call for nurses to donate their time since many of the elderly moved to the shelters need people to be with them for the night.
 
And Beck thinks this suffering is because they hate America? No heartfelt wishes for the firefighters and the residents to escape injury and stay safe?
 
Those firefighters just probably didn't realize that the homes they were risking their lives to save were probably owned by someone who "hates" America.
 
What kind of twisted mind leads a person to look at the California wildfires and think about the politics of those who are suffering. I mean, I’m a political animal, but when I see a family fleeing their home, trying to find shelter because wildfires are in their backyard, it just doesn’t occur to me to wonder if those people hate America.
 
Could it be the same kind of twisted mind that led Rev. Jerry Falwell, along with Rev. Pat Robertson, to look at the 9/11 Twin Towers falling and claim it was brought on because of America’s decadent lifestyle, abortionists, homosexuals, the ACLU.....
 
"Beck continued: “There are a few people that hate America. But I don’t think the Democrats are those. I think there are those posing as Democrats that are like that.”"
 
He's not only offensive, he’s incoherent. Now just who does he think hates America? Fake-Democrats who live in southern California?
 
And since when is he the one who defines who "real" Democrats are?
 
For what it's worth Glenn, I don’t hate America ...I don’t even hate silly talk show hosts. But I do hate the mind-set that every .. single .. solitary .. thing that happens in the United States these days has to be twisted into some kind of bitter partisan and/or polarizing spin.
 

2007/10/22

Plame's Job: Keep Nukes from Iran

@ 08:10 AM (24 months, 27 days ago)

If  this outing of a CIA agent had happened with Hillary Clinton as President, all hell would break loose. Imagine a Democrat shopping around for a reporter to disclose the identity of ANY CIA agent, whether at home or abroad ... yet, it seems to be totally acceptable to most Republicans.
 
The "60 Minutes" interview was very informative. It's just a sad fact that not enough people like Joe Wilson stood up to tell the truth in the run-up to the Iraq war.
 
Speaking truth to power turns out to be a very dangerous endeavor. If a couple of people wearing anti-Bush T-shirts can be hauled off to jail ... anything can happen.
 
There is no evidence whatsoever that the press went looking to see what Joe Wilson's wife did for a living. Instead, it was White House officials seeking out the press to impart and make known that little tidbit.
 
After all, it wasn't for nothin' that the VP's chief of staff was convicted of four felonies related to the outing's coverup.......
 
Given the track record of this administration I know it might be difficult to fathom that someone like Joe Wilson might just be trying to do the right thing for our country. A glimpse at his service record might bear that out.
 
As for Valerie Plame, while every phony 'patriotic' Rightie pundit will be trashing her over the next several months, we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that she is the real patriot and hero of our country. She is the person who worked tirelessly to keep us safe from nuclear terror and terrorism itself.
 
So, let the neo-con chickenhawks viciously attack her, when the Truth finally comes to light -- and it always does -- when history is finally written, she'll go down as the true hero.
 
From Raw Story: "CBS News has confirmed, in advance of a 60 Minutes interview with outed CIA agent Valerie Plame to be run this Sunday, that Plame "was involved in operations to prevent Iran from building nuclear weapons."
 
"Our mission was to make sure that the bad guys, basically, did not get nuclear weapons," Plame told 60 Minutes. Plame also indicated that her outing in 2003 had caused grave damage to CIA operations, saying, "All the intelligence services in the world were running my name through their databases" to see where she had gone and who she had met with.[..]
 
http://tinyurl.com/22p9zp
 
Yes folks, the Bushies hated being caught lying so much that they actually outed a CIA agent -- who was involved in fighting Iran nuclear capabilities -- to try to cover their sorry arses.
 
I'm sure this still won't shut up the "she wasn't covert" crowd, but I would think that 3 independent confirmations from CBS, MSNBC, and Raw Story tend to lend some credence.
 
Nice work Mr. Vice President! Way to uphold your Constitutional obligation to defend our nation.
 
And nice work Mr. President! Way to stand by your word to punish those involved with this incident. Yet another way you have made our country "safer" under your abysmal MISadministration.
 
Doesn't this border on Treason?
 
Dang, why didn't someone in the White House staff give Bush a BJ ... so those knee-jerk clowns on the right would agree he needs to be impeached. Because it looks like a BJ apparently is the only thing that will TOP breaking Congressional FISA laws, lying to America about WMD, and Treason.
 
 

2007/10/21

Army still sneakin' 'em in the back door draft

@ 10:34 AM (24 months, 27 days ago)

If the war in Iraq is so necessary to our country's very survival, and the US has a population of 300,000,000, why do we have to rely on the same 130,000 Guardsmen and Marines over and over and over again?
 
But, I guess it's better to keep sending the same people back for a fourth or fifth tour of duty than to re-institute the draft and send the children of the rich and powerful ... because Bush realizes that if the kids of the wealthy had to go, then his excellent little Mess-o-potamian adventure would be over in a heartbeat.
 
From usatoday.com: WASHINGTON (AP) — The U.S. Army will continue to rely on an unpopular program that forces some soldiers to stay on beyond their retirement or re-enlistment dates, despite repeated pressure from Defense Secretary Robert Gates to reduce and eventually eliminate the practice.[..]"
 
http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/2007-10-18-stop-loss_N.htm
 
This backdoor draft is "excused" by righties --"they knew what they were signing up for." Well, no they didn't, the Army is going back on its word.
 
Stop-loss: A program that forces some soldiers to stay on beyond their retirement or re-enlistment dates ... an involuntary extension. The Army tries to justify it on a legal basis, a paragraph 9(c) which states: "In the event of war, my enlistment in the Armed Forces continues until six (6) months after the war ends, unless my enlistment is ended sooner by the President of the United States."
 
This is being reviewed in full by our federal court system, it's criticized by many as an abuse of the spirit of the law ... due to the fact that Congress has not yet declared war, we are currently just occupying Iraq.
 
I had hopes of fair play when one of Robert Gates' first acts as Secretary of Defense was to pen a memo asking commanders to "minimize" the stop-lossing of soldiers.
 
I still like Gates, because it looks like the army CAN'T stop the back door draft, they have to continue to rely on it because the wheels are coming off as it is.
 
When this is over, there will be so many soldiers who'll get out and stay out that some kind of military draft will have to be enacted to replenish the force, including the Guard and Reserves.
 
There's always this:
"$45,000 is latest Army sweetener for recruits
The money is for the soldier to buy a home or business when military duty is finished. The pilot program starts next month.
 
From the Chicago Tribune, October 21, 2007:
WASHINGTON -- With the Army entrenched in two protracted wars while trying to increase its overall troop levels, commanders are finding they have to sweeten the pot to attract a few good men and women and keep the ones they already have.
 
Next month, the Army is launching the Army Advantage Fund, a pilot program that offers recruits $45,000 toward buying a house or new business upon completion of their military stint. That program comes on top of thousands of "quick-ship" bonuses that the Army doled out this year to recruits who agreed to ship out to basic training within 30 days, as well as ongoing reenlistment programs to retain those with special skills.[..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/3yep33
 
Yeah, like raw recruits are going to be ready for combat in Iraq or Afghanistan after just 30 days of basic training.
 
And here's why a young person would risk life and limb for enlistment goodies to fight such a loser of a war ......
 
The lack of decent paying jobs ... those steel mill and auto plant jobs are gone and have been replaced by $7.50 per hour McJobs. If you think there is no difference between a 25.00 per hour job and a 7.50 per hour job ... try working one for a year.
 
The lack of medical benefits forces young people to turn to military service just to provide medical care for themselves and their family. Something as simple as going to the dentist to keep their teeth from falling out or going to get fitted with eye glasses is becoming out of reach for a lot of people.
 
The high costs of college forces the middle and lower classes into the military in order to obtain a college education without $50,000 or $60,000 or more in student loan debt that will take decades to pay off.
 
Not to mention to escape violent crime, shootings and gang violence that's out of control in certain places -- Newark, Chicago, D.C., New Orleans, Detroit etc. Some kids would rather take their chance in Iraq, where the odds are lower of getting killed or seriously injured. And get this -- soldiers can't escape gangs completely because the Army is now recruiting them.
 
The above reasons are why the real fight is NOT in Afghanistan or Iraq, but right here in a place called the United Sates of America.
 

2007/10/20

Panties for Peace!

@ 07:04 AM (24 months, 29 days ago)

Apparently "Myanmar's" General Than Shwe believes that contact with women's panties saps him of power, so women around the world are mailing their knickers to Burma to protest the oppressive regime's militant crackdown on citizens.
 
When diplomacy fails, it’s time to break out radical activist weapons! Deploy those panties!
 
This is too, too good! Girls, take those panties off -- everything from pink cotton Hello Kitty's to Victoria's Secret black lacy thongs -- package them up and ship them to Gen. Than Shwe! It's for Freedom!
 
Even the Bush administration believes in the power of women's panties ... remember all those pictures of Abu Ghraib prisoners wearing women's panties on their heads?
 
So this protest from Southeast Asian women is ingenious.
 
BANGKOK, Thailand (AP) — Women in several countries have begun sending their panties to Myanmar embassies in a culturally insulting gesture of protest against the recent brutal crackdown there, a campaign supporter said Friday.
 
"It's an extremely strong message in Burmese and in all Southeast Asian culture," said Liz Hilton, who supports an activist group that launched the "Panties for Peace" drive earlier this week.
 
The group, Lanna Action for Burma, says the country's superstitious generals, especially junta leader Gen. Than Shwe, also believe that contact with women's underwear saps them of power.[..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/32dehw
 
"This is your chance to use your Panty Power to take away the power from the SPDC. You can post, deliver or fling your panties at the closest Burmese Embassy any day from today. Send early, send often."
 
http://lannaactionforumburma.blogspot.com
 
Seriously, "Panties for Peace" won’t stop a single killing or release a single protestor out of Burma’s dank prisons ... BUT, it will draw more attention to a situation that hasn’t had as much media coverage as the travails of Britney Spears.
 
So at least it’s something ... if it does nothing more than draw some much-needed attention to the barbarism of the junta, then it’s done a lot more than the UN’s diplomatic efforts.
 

2007/10/19

Late-night jokes 10/19

@ 07:09 PM (24 months, 29 days ago)
 
"During an interview, Vice President Dick Cheney's wife said that Vice President Cheney and Barack Obama are actually distant cousins. When Dick Cheney found out, he said, 'I knew there was something creepy about that guy.'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"Isn't that amazing, Obama and Cheney related? Dick Cheney now has more blacks and gays in his own family than in the entire Republican Party." --Jay Leno
 
"Obama and Cheney are actually cousins, but Barack did not inherit the family sneer." --David Letterman
 
"Condoleezza Rice, bless her heart, is trying to work out a peace agreement between the Palestinians and the Israelis. That's about as doable as she is" --David Letterman
 
"If you'd like to find out if you're related to Dick Cheney, there's a very simple test. Here's what you do: You go out to a shooting range and if you can't tell the difference between a lawyer and a quail, you could be related." --Jay Leno
 
"Tough choices on TV last night. I couldn't decide whether to watch 'Dancing With The Stars' or toe-tapping with Senator Larry Craig. ... Matt Lauer had his big interview with Senator Craig last night. At first, they had a lot of sound problems. You always get those echoes from the bathroom." --Jay Leno
 
"A baker in Austria is in trouble for making his employees pay for the time they spend in the bathroom. This guy will record their bathroom breaks and then deduct the money from their pay. Can you imagine that? That's got to be Senator Craig's worst nightmare." --Jay Leno
 
"Senator Larry Craig was interviewed by Matt Lauer this week, and Craig said that he's a victim of gladiator politics. Then Craig said, 'And trust me, no one's watched more gladiator movies than I have" --Conan O'Brien
 
"Yesterday, the Dalai Lama had a private meeting with President Bush. You know, the last Dalai the president greeted was Parton. ... Believe it or not, they actually have a lot in common. One of the goals of Zen Buddhism is to completely empty your mind. The president did that years ago." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"Earlier tonight on NBC, Idaho Senator Larry Craig was on Matt Lauer. Until Matt was able to push him off." --Jay Leno
 
"The interview was conducted in Senator Craig's home in Idaho. Beautiful home. Four bedrooms, 29 bathrooms." --Jay Leno
 
"One embarrassing moment. I guess half way through the interview, Larry Craig's wife came into the room, saw Matt Lauer sitting there, and said, 'Is this another one of your boy toys?'" --Jay Leno
 
"This past weekend, Senator Craig was inducted into the Idaho Hall of Fame. See, I don't know how these things work. Is he a pitcher or a catcher?" --Jay Leno
 
"President Bush met with the Dalai Lama today at the White House. Another awkward moment. When the Dalai Lama showed up, Bush said, 'So, where's the llama?'" --Jay Leno
 
"China is outraged at the United States for honoring the Dalai Lama at the White House. They're pretty mad. I hope they don't try to get back at us, you know, like maybe putting lead in our toys or anti-freeze in our toothpaste." --Jay Leno
 
"A globe of the world once owned by Adolph Hitler is going to be auctioned off. ... So, Hitler's globe if you're thinking about getting a Christmas gift for Ann Coulter." --Jay Leno
 
"Rudy Giuliani and John McCain have teamed up to attack Mitt Romney. See, you need two people to attack Romney -- one for each of his positions on the issue. ... Political experts are saying that Giuliani and McCain could be the Republican ticket. Or, a remake of 'Grumpy Old Men'" --Jay Leno
 
"Hillary Clinton raised $35 million in three months. That's the most money ever raised by a woman, if you don't count what Oprah's made since lunch." --David Letterman
 
"Richard Simmons is on the program tonight. ... It will be good to see Richard again. You know he's the only man who's embraced more overweight women than Bill Clinton" --David Letterman
 
"Earlier this year, Al Gore won an Emmy and an Oscar. Now that he's won a Nobel Peace Prize, some people say he may run for president. Gore says he's not even thinking about the presidency 'cause he's totally focused on winning the Heisman." --Conan O'Brien
 
"Last week, Al Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts to fight global warming. Congratulations to Al Gore. ... Not to be outdone, today the oil companies named President Bush 'Man of The Year.'" --Jay Leno
 
"Over the weekend, Senator Craig was inducted into the Idaho Stall of Fame. ... Did I say stall? I meant to say Hall of Fame. This guy got into the Idaho Hall of Fame. So who are the people who lost to Craig?" --Jay Leno
 
"According to an exclusive interview, Senator Larry Craig said that because of his sex scandal, he's now in 'the toughest fight of his life.' Then Craig added, 'Unless you count that trucker who played hard to get.'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"Nobel Peace Prize for his work with the environment. Then, in a stunning reversal, the Supreme Court awarded it to George Bush." --Amy Poehler
 
"I think I know why you're happy tonight ... 'cause Al Gore won the Nobel prize. Al Gore won the Nobel prize. Or, as President Bush announced it, 'Sweden is with the terrorists.' No, the president did not say that. What he said was, 'The Nobel Prize is just a theory. It needs more study.'" --Bill Maher
 
"You can tell Al Gore is still worrying about these kind of things. They told him today, 'You received the most votes.' He said, 'Yeah, who won?'" --Bill Maher
 
"Congratulations to former Vice President Al Gore. He won the Nobel Peace Prize. ... And he did it without a single vote from Florida." --Jay Leno
 
"A White House spokesman said President Bush is very happy Al Gore won. Not Dick Cheney. Oh, no. Dick Cheney said today now he wants to bomb Norway." --Jay Leno
 
"I have become such a fan of these Republican debates ... Mitt Romney and Giuliani went at each other. It was like watching a mannequin fight a Halloween costume." --Bill Maher
 
"And Mitt Romney was asked if he would seek congressional approval to attack Iran. ... He said he would check with his attorneys. Is that the right answer? I'm not sure. ... And then Fred Thompson said he would check with his manager and his publicist. That's the right answer." --Bill Maher
 
"This was Fred Thompson's first debate. You know, the long-awaited savior for the Republicans, Fred Thompson, is finally in the debates. It was a good chance for the voters to finally put the name with the cadaver." --Bill Maher
 
"The people who are really getting tough with the Middle East is the House Foreign Relations Committee. Those motherf------ are not kidding around. They voted yesterday to condemn, as an act of genocide, the killings of Armenians in Turkey in 1915. See, this is exactly why the voters gave control to the Democrats. They send a stern message to the Ottoman Empire." --Bill Maher
 
"On the peaceful side of the equation, the Dalai Lama is coming to the United States next week. He's going to get the Congressional Medal of honor, meet with President Bush. He is going to, of course, be wearing his famous flowing orange robes. Nothing religious about that, he just doesn't want to get shot by Cheney." --Bill Maher
 
"Ramsey Usef, you know that name? He was the mastermind of the first World Trade Center attack back in '93. He's been rotting in prison -- as he should -- for many years. He said he's now converted to Christianity. He has seen the light. He can't wait to get out and bomb an abortion clinic" --Bill Maher
 
"Congratulations to our own Matt Lauer of the 'Today Show.' Matt has secured the very first TV interview with Idaho Senator Larry Craig. I believe it will be conducted in the men's room at Rockefeller Center. ... Senator Craig said he's looking forward to meeting with Matt and going toe to toe." --Jay Leno
 
"This week, President Bush said that Congress needs to give him more power to spy on Americans by making changes to the Protect America Act. Did you ever notice they always give these pieces of legislation names you can't disagree with? The Protect America Act. ... Give it a fair name. At least call it the Ignore The Constitution Act." --Jay Leno
 
"We're learning more and more information about that Republican debate the other night. Apparently, the Republicans were really paranoid about security at the debate. Security was very, very high. To make sure there were no embarrassing incidents, I understand they had three security guards posted at every bathroom stall." --Jay Leno
 
"Mitt Romney said the other night at the debates that he's the one of all the candidates who is the most optimistic about the future. Well, there's a shock -- a rich, white guy with $200 million in the bank. What's everyone worried about?" --Jay Leno
 

2007/10/18

Vaginal-Americans and the GOP

@ 09:11 AM (25 months, 1 day ago)

Righties just don't have a clue about, or respect for, the women of this country. Female sexuality is a threat, they feel compelled to control all those wanton uteruses (uteri?). A female presidential candidate really seems to intimidate the average knee-jerk wingnut, they don't even know what to call her.
 
The other day on Tucker Carlson's TV show he and Cliff May were discussing Sen. Hillary Clinton and May pinches off this beautiful bit of logic -- he wants to classify her as a Vaginal-American.
 
No really:
 
http://mediamatters.org/items/200710160010
 
My brain explodes, and I can't wait to see what the late-night comedians do with that....
 
Then next, we find out that the Preznit has appointed Susan Orr, a staunchly anti-birth control extremist, as the new director of federal family planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services.
 
Yep,the lady who hates birth control will be in charge of everybody's birth control. Not only that, but she thinks if you use a condom, you are part of the "culture of death."
 
Oh nooo .. just think of all those millions of poor little sperm screaming as they smother inside their rubbery grave!
 
Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.
(Monty Python)
 
"In a 2000 Weekly Standard article, Orr railed against requiring health insurance plans to cover contraceptives. “It’s not about choice,” said Orr. “It’s not about health care. It’s about making everyone collaborators with the culture of death.""
 
Talk about yer fetus fetishist ... it's plain crazy to consider using sensible and, um, legal methods of birth control to be tied into “The Culture of Death."
 
"Birth-Control Foe To Run Office on Family Planning
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
The Bush administration again has appointed a chief of family planning programs at the Department of Health and Human Services who has been critical of contraception.
 
Susan Orr, most recently an associate commissioner in the Administration for Children and Families, was appointed Monday to be acting deputy assistant secretary for population affairs. She will oversee $283 million in annual grants to provide low-income families and others with contraceptive services, counseling and preventive screenings.
 
But a look at Orr’s record shows that her strongest qualifications appear to be her right-wing credentials and endorsement of the Bush administration’s failed abstinence-only policies. Before joining HHS, Orr served as senior director for marriage and family care at the conservative Family Research Council and was an adjunct professor at Pat Robertson’s Regent University.[..]
 
http://tinyurl.com/356bz6
 
Is this the person we want overseeing a $283 million reproductive-health program, which funds birth control, pregnancy tests, counseling, and screenings for sexually transmitted diseases and HIV?
 
I don't think so.
 
Leave it to the Republicans to install people to oversee a department that they hate. We shouldn't forget that Bush tried to put a vet in as head of Women's Health ... and I'm not talking about the honorable military kind.
 
They think birth control is evil, but if a woman in poverty gets pregnant, she can just fend for herself. Looks to me like if you want to prevent abortion, then legal, accessible, inexpensive birth control is the way to prevent it.
 
While they deny health care to children who walk the earth......
 
This is just another example of the Bush Administration promoting politics over a sound health policy. Orr will surely escalate the war on regulated pregnancy by attacking access to contraception.
 
I always thought when they said, “women and children first” they meant “first to be saved” ...not “first to be tossed under the bus.”
 
And Bush is still confused about how everthing works--"Too many OBGYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across this country.”
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8MzM-GV02Y
 

2007/10/17

Guess who are cousins!

@ 08:11 AM (25 months, 2 days ago)

Just when you thought politics couldn't get any weirder....
 
The Vice President's wife, Lynne Cheney, was on television yesterday hawking her new book which traces both her and Dick's ancestry back to pioneer days. Guess what she found? It seems that Dick is related to somebody else prominent in politics ... he's a cousin of Barack Obama's.
 
I'm sure both of them were just delighted to learn that news.
 
It could be just a smear tactic designed to discredit Obama.
 
WASHINGTON (AP) — Though they may spar across the political aisle, Vice President Dick Cheney is close enough to Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama to call him "cousin." Eighth cousin, that is.
 
....According to her spokeswoman, Sen. Obama, D-Ill., is a descendent of Mareen Duvall. This French Huguenot's son married the granddaughter of a Richard Cheney, who arrived in Maryland in the late 1650's from England ...
 
....A spokesman for Obama, who wants to be the first black U.S. president, offered a tongue-in-cheek response. "Every family has a black sheep," said spokesman Bill Burton.[..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/2n75nl
 
You know, I can totally see the resemblance. Why, if you aged Obama 60 years, made him white, removed his heart, emptied his circulatory system and re-filled his veins with ice water, programmed a malfunctioning Super Smash Bro's video game into his brain ...why, they'd be twins!
 
Hmm ... does this mean Obama will be invited to Dick's bunker for Thanksgiving?
 
Anyway, it's sort of old news -- what that Lynn won't do to sell books -- because last month a story by the Chicago Sun-Times outed these family ties. Turns out Obama is also related to the two George Bushs and, get this Democrats, Harry Truman.
 
More here: http://tinyurl.com/2ptfgq

American Flag Pins by Bill Maher

@ 07:16 AM (25 months, 2 days ago)

The other day we had the first genuine controversy of the presidential campaign: the shocking news that Barack Obama doesn't wear an American flag lapel pin, so apparently he and America are no longer going steady.
 
"No lapel pin, Senator? It's like not wearing pants. Why don't you just stab the Statue of Liberty in the eye while bitch-slapping a 9/11 widow?"
 
Another in a series of bullshit non-stories that have zero effect on the troops, the war or anything in the real world - or, as Fox calls it, "Breaking News."
 
A reporter in Iowa asked Obama why he doesn't wear the pin and Obama explained that, to him, wearing the pin had come to seem like a "substitute for true patriotism." Bravo, Senator.
 
And then, in yet another shining example of why the media is part of the problem, ABC's Claire Shipman said, "TMI, too much information - all he had to say was, 'Don't judge me by what I wear, move on.' He played into the idea that he's not ready for prime time."
 
What a schoolgirl! "Too much information?" What is she, 12? This is typical press hypocrisy - they say they want somebody who doesn't give pat political answers, but when they get one, they call him a loser. They say they don't like safe robots like Hillary, but they create conditions where only that species can survive. And they give cover to people like Sean Hannity, who reported on "no pin" gate and then had to call a doctor because his fake outrage hard-on lasted longer than 72 hours.
 
Of course, the Republicans are the party of Mark Foley and the Rev. Ted Haggard and Larry Craig and countless other closeted homosexuals, so their fixation on jewelry is understandable, but still, the flag is just a symbol. You're getting pissy about a brooch, you drama queens, one that was probably made in China. It's probably leaking poison lead on you right now.
 
At least that would be some sacrifice, because let's be honest: this generation doesn't do real sacrifice or even pay for our own wars. That's what grandkids are for! No, we do flag pins and bumper stickers. And not even bumper stickers. Bumper magnets. Because stickers are tough to get off, and we may change our mind about never forgetting.
 
When I see the little flag right here, the first thing I think is, you voted for, and still like, George Bush, the man who has gotten more troops unnecessarily killed and maimed by failing to plan for their mission, by pushing their units to the breaking point, by letting his corporate enablers like Halliburton, Bechtel and Blackwater rape and pillage not just the Iraqis, but our own army.
 
Can you imagine how apoplectic the flag-pin people would be if these same transgressions against the military were being made by Bill Clinton?
 
Oh, who am I kidding? They'd still be obsessing about the blow job.
 
Bill Maher is a comedian, commentator, and host of Real Time With Bill Maher on HBO.

2007/10/16

Al Gore's sweet revenge

@ 08:13 AM (25 months, 3 days ago)

It's pretty amazing that Gore won an Academy Award and a Nobel Peace Prize in the same year, that he has been this successful reinventing himself after a presidential loss; because looking backwards -- Dole, Dukakis, Mondale, McGovern, Humphrey, Goldwater -- I can't think of any whose stature grew this much after the election.
 
I'd vote for Gore in a heartbeat if he ran for president, but I'll bet he won't run. He's a rock star now and respected all over the world. Why would he give that up to get his hands dirty cleaning up George Bush's mess?
 
Gore's prize sure has the Rabid Righties frothing at the mouth ... you can almost see the flecks of spittle fly as they wage an all out assault on the legitimacy of the Nobel Prize. They say Global Warming has nothing to do with peace ... presumably because this war isn't being fought for oil.
 
I think the Nobel Peace Prize probably has a lot to do with Global Warming ... because as millions of people all over the world are displaced over the coming decades, stress will be put on the areas they move to, and that will cause serious conflicts in the world. Think of wars fought over water instead of oil.
 
BTW--is the prize for economics, which was initiated by the Swedish bank and not Alfred Nobel, legitimate?
 
But then, I can understand why Righties sneer at the Nobel Peace Prize ... the committee keeps awarding it to advocates of peace, you see.....
 
This rancid hate for Gore was on fine display the other morning on Fox News Sunday. Bill Kristol and Charles Krauthammer were fit to be tied. They reminded me of a couple of jealous schoolgirls who weren't asked to the prom.
 
But I think what pisses them off the most is that their smear campaign seems to have failed ... Al Gore withstood all their mud and slings and arrows and came out more respected and credible than ever. It really gets their knickers in a knot.
 
See, Hardcore Righties oppose any government action to combat Global Warming and have turned their opposition into a personal jihad against Al Gore.
 
Their excuse? Gore is a hypocrite unless he lives in a cave and rides a bicycle everywhere. It's the kind of argument you'd expect to hear from a 6 y/o.
 
Their opinion on the severity of Global Warming is based on a personality they don't like, rather than the overwhelming scientific evidence that he presents.
 
The Truth -- Gore is their worst nightmare if he decides to run again, so the more they bash him now....
 
They complain that he uses fuel as he jets around the world being a spokesman, promoting the movie, lecturing, etc. Well, Righties and Lefties alike wouldn't be aware of how big a threat Global Warming is if he hadn't spread the word. He brought it to the forefront of the world's consciousness in a way no one else has.
 
Enough scientists support him to satisfy me ... considering the kind of people he's been up against and the dirty tricks they play. The American Enterprise Institute, a Rightie "think tank" funded by Exxon/Mobil, offered $10,000 to any scientist or economist who could poke holes in a major climate change report.
 
More here: http://tinyurl.com/2kzqd7
 
No, Gore's film isn't perfect, it contains a few mistakes, but these are relatively small and do not detract from the film's central message -- that Global Warming is a real problem and humans have the technology to do something about it.
 
The American public is finally taking notice, and they like Al Gore, his approval ratings are high. Isn't it ironic that the man he defeated in the popular vote for president in 2000 is stumbling along with an approval rating in the 30's, *and* it took him years to grudgingly acknowledge the reality of Global Warming?
 
Sorry about you not getting any awards Bush ... but if there was a Nobel War Prize ... or a US FUBAR Prize ....
 
Bush just couldn't bring himself to punish his Big Business buddies by making them just *obey* pollution laws, or adopt new technologies. It would take so little to retrofit coal factories. It would take so little to have new ones meet a certain standard.
 
I would like to be there when Rightie politicians explain to their constituents back home why they need to keep hating Gore rather than get into a serious debate about Global Warming.
 
The American public cares about this matter. Period.

2007/10/15

A Mock Columnist, Amok

@ 05:20 AM (25 months, 4 days ago)

MoDo shares her column with Stephen Colbert
 
By MAUREEN DOWD, New York Times Op-Ed Columnist, October 14, 2007
 
I was in my office, writing a column on the injustice of relative marginal tax rates for hedge fund managers, when I saw Stephen Colbert on TV.
 
He was sneering that Times columns make good “kindling.” He was ranting that after you throw away the paper, “it takes over a hundred years for the lies to biodegrade.” He was observing, approvingly, that “Dick Cheney’s fondest pipe dream is driving a bulldozer into The New York Times while drinking crude oil out of Keith Olbermann’s skull.”
 
I called Colbert with a dare: if he thought it was so easy to be a Times Op-Ed pundit, he should try it. He came right over. In a moment of weakness, I had staged a coup d’moi. I just hope he leaves at some point. He’s typing and drinking and threatening to “shave Paul Krugman with a broken bottle.”
 
I Am an Op-Ed Columnist (And So Can You!) By STEPHEN COLBERT
 
Surprised to see my byline here, aren’t you? I would be too, if I read The New York Times. But I don’t. So I’ll just have to take your word that this was published. Frankly, I prefer emoticons to the written word, and if you disagree :(
 
I’d like to thank Maureen Dowd for permitting/begging me to write her column today. As I type this, she’s watching from an overstuffed divan, petting her prize Abyssinian and sipping a Dirty Cosmotinijito. Which reminds me: Before I get started, I have to take care of one other bit of business:
 
Bad things are happening in countries you shouldn’t have to think about. It’s all George Bush’s fault, the vice president is Satan, and God is gay.
 
There. Now I’ve written Frank Rich’s column too.
 
So why I am writing Miss Dowd’s column today? Simple. Because I believe the 2008 election, unlike all previous elections, is important. And a lot of Americans feel confused about the current crop of presidential candidates.
 
For instance, Hillary Clinton. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to be scared of her so Democrats will think they should nominate her when she’s actually easy to beat, or if I’m supposed to be scared of her because she’s legitimately scary.
 
Or Rudy Giuliani. I can’t remember if I’m supposed to support him because he’s the one who can beat Hillary if she gets nominated, or if I’m supposed to support him because he’s legitimately scary.
 
And Fred Thompson. In my opinion “Law & Order” never sufficiently explained why the Manhattan D.A. had an accent like an Appalachian catfish wrestler.
 
Well, suddenly an option is looming on the horizon. And I don’t mean Al Gore (though he’s a world-class loomer). First of all, I don’t think Nobel Prizes should go to people I was seated next to at the Emmys. Second, winning the Nobel Prize does not automatically qualify you to be commander in chief. I think George Bush has proved definitively that to be president, you don’t need to care about science, literature or peace.
 
While my hat is not presently in the ring, I should also point out that it is not on my head. So where’s that hat? (Hint: John McCain was seen passing one at a gas station to fuel up the Straight Talk Express.)
 
Others point to my new bestseller, “I Am America (And So Can You!)” noting that many candidates test the waters with a book first. Just look at Barack Obama, John Edwards or O. J. Simpson.
 
Look at the moral guidance I offer. On faith: “After Jesus was born, the Old Testament basically became a way for Bible publishers to keep their word count up.” On gender: “The sooner we accept the basic differences between men and women, the sooner we can stop arguing about it and start having sex.” On race: “While skin and race are often synonymous, skin cleansing is good, race cleansing is bad.”
 
Our nation is at a Fork in the Road. Some say we should go Left; some say go Right. I say, “Doesn’t this thing have a reverse gear?” Let’s back this country up to a time before there were forks in the road — or even roads. Or forks, for that matter. I want to return to a simpler America where we ate our meat off the end of a sharpened stick.
 
Let me regurgitate: I know why you want me to run, and I hear your clamor. I share Americans’ nostalgia for an era when you not only could tell a man by the cut of his jib, but the jib industry hadn’t yet fled to Guangdong. And I don’t intend to tease you for weeks the way Newt Gingrich did, saying that if his supporters raised $30 million, he would run for president. I would run for 15 million. Cash.
 
Nevertheless, I am not ready to announce yet — even though it’s clear that the voters are desperate for a white, male, middle-aged, Jesus-trumpeting alternative.
 
What do I offer? Hope for the common man. Because I am not the Anointed or the Inevitable. I am just an Average Joe like you — if you have a TV show.
 

2007/10/14

Hey Rush, is General Sanchez just another phony Soldier?

@ 09:38 AM (25 months, 4 days ago)

The article below is the harshest criticism we've heard yet of the Iraq war from a retired military General.
 
I wish when he realized the war was FUBAR (the day he took command in 2003), he had said something ... but, I do know that active duty Generals don't speak out against their CIC.
 
They are obligated to follow the CIC's dictates or have a coup ... which is treason. So let's not blame the military for what the administration is doing.
 
Sanchez said, "I think once you are retired, you have a responsibility to the nation, to your oath, to the country, to state your opinion."
 
That's why he waited until now.
 
Well, that, and he probably has a book coming out. He promised "more to follow later" and said he would make further public statements in which he names names.
 
And I'm sure he will name names ... he's probably still ticked because he was used as a political scapegoat for the administration's failed policy in response to Abu Ghraib.
 
Pass the popcorn.
 
From nytimes.com: WASHINGTON, Oct. 12 — In a sweeping indictment of the four-year effort in Iraq, the former top commander of American forces there called the Bush administration’s handling of the war “incompetent” and said the result was “a nightmare with no end in sight.”
 
Lt. Gen. Ricardo S. Sanchez, who retired in 2006 after being replaced in Iraq after the Abu Ghraib prisoner abuse scandal, blamed the Bush administration for a “catastrophically flawed, unrealistically optimistic war plan” and denounced the current addition of American forces as a “desperate” move that would not achieve long-term stability.[..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/3amk9h
 
Since we invaded Iraq it has fallen into a multi-front civil war ... Sunni vs Shia, Shia vs Shia, the insurgency and multiple terrorist organizations are all fighting each other for control.
 
And guess what? We armed most of our enemies and they're using the very weapons we gave them to kill our own troops. Now it has gotten to the point where we are working with militias, both Sunni and Shia, who have American blood on their hands, just to make it look like progress is being made.
 
You know, I wonder if Bush and Cheney had just been honest with the American people from the start, if they had just said folks, it's either the US getting our hands on Iraq's oil now or soon China and/or Russia will control it and we need to keep them from getting it first ... if more of us would have backed Bush on that deal.
 
I'm enough of a realist to know that if we don't control Iraq's oil there's a good chance someday soon the real threat to our country -- Communist China -- will. It might not even bother me that Bush's Big Oil buddies would make billions off the deal.
 
America has turned against this Administration because of the Lies, the almost 4000 of our military dead and the unnecessary 600,000 dead Iraqi civilians, because they couldn't be bothered to do the proper research or formulate a complete plan for the war, and the preplanned theft of billions from our US Treasury.
 
The American people will forgive almost anything except being lied to......
 

2007/10/13

Ann Colter wants to "fix" those pesky Jews

@ 07:19 AM (25 months, 6 days ago)

We all know that she's the most attention starved human on the planet, but who knew that writer Ann Coulter was such a Christian? We all know she's a freaking nut case, so far to the right of moderate that she makes Newt Gingrich look like a peacenik hippie, but a Christian?
 
Let me see now, Christian Ann Coulter has called Democratic Presidential candidates "f*ggots" and said she hopes they’ll be victims of a terrorist attack ... has said she'd like to drop "daisy cutter bombs" at random throughout the Middle East ... has said 9/11 widows who seek the truth about 9/11 are "broads trying to get mileage out of their husband’s deaths" ... has said Al Gore is "certifiably insane" for making his film, "An Inconvenient Truth" ... and Liberals “hate America” ... and ...on and on.
 
So in that predictable but inimitable Ann Coulter way, last Monday night on the CNBC show "The Big Idea" she suggested to host Donny Deutsch that the US would be a better place if there weren’t any Jewish people. She also said that Jews need to "perfect" themselves into Christians:
 
"It led Deutsch to suggest that surely she couldn’t mean that, and when she insisted she did, he said this sounded "anti-Semitic."
 
Asked by Deutsch regarding whether she wanted to be like "the head of Iran" and "wipe Israel off the Earth," Coulter stated: "No, we just want Jews to be perfected, as they say … That’s what Christianity is. We believe the Old Testament."[..]"
 
A transcript:
http://tinyurl.com/ynldcb
 
With Christians like Ann Coulter, who needs radical Islamic fanatics?
 
The truth is that Coulter has found a shtick that pays her millions. The more outrageous she is, the more books she sells to the angry, lonely, middle-aged white men of America ... along with the Skinheads and the Aryan Nations. This 30-per-cent crowd will always embrace her ... especially when she gets more extreme.
 
And she hasn't had any attention in weeks ... it's harder and harder to get attention when you are competing with people who are willing to attack and slime disabled children. See here:
 
http://tinyurl.com/2qtkgk
 
Anyway, I'm glad they give her airtime. If Ann Coulter is the face of the Republican party, there'll be a Democratic majority for the next 40 years. She's one of our best arguments for not voting Republican.
 
Besides, I believe strongly in this thing called the First Amendment. I don't believe in censorship on the right or the left. Censorship is for right-wing nuts. THEY ban books. THEY squelch dissent. THEY believe in censorship and abridging freedom of speech.
 
So, let Ann talk all she wants. It only makes us look better. Keep talking, Ann!
 
OR--This is just a parody, like on SNL, and Ann Coulter is playing a character. She is viciously and cleverly mocking today's Republican party.
 
This country has lost its sense of humor.
 
I would like a round of applause please, for writing about Ann the Man and not once mentioning her huuuuge Adam's Apple.
 
Ooops.
 

2007/10/12

Late-night jokes 10/12

@ 06:31 AM (25 months, 7 days ago)
 
"One of President Bush's closest advisers said that Republican presidential candidate Mike Huckabee is going to have trouble getting elected 'cause his last name is Huckabee. He said the only way it could be worse is if his name was George W. Huckabee." --Conan O'Brien
 
"President Bush says that these rumors that he's just getting ready to attack Iran are propaganda. He said he and Cheney were ready months ago." --Jay Leno
 
"Anybody see the Republican debate last night? ... It was late getting started. They had to go through the bags under Fred Thompson's eyes." --David Letterman
 
"Here's what I don't understand: Rudolph Giuliani had three wives and he's not the Mormon candidate?" --David Letterman
 
"Former 'Law & Order' star Fred Thompson appeared in his first presidential debate last night. Political experts called him uneven, flat and dull. In other words, Thompson was the highlight of the debate." --Conan O'Brien
 
"There were times when Thompson looked like a bystander when Romney and Giuliani were going at each other. See, I don't think Fred understands how these debates work. Like he went backstage and asked the producers, 'I need more lines.'" -Jay Leno
 
"According to the latest poll, New Hampshire voters -- kind of prickly voters -- are unexpectedly warming to Hillary Clinton. So, this could be the proof of global warming -- Hillary thawing." --Jay Leno
 
"Senator Larry Craig ... has been selected for the Idaho Hall of Fame. Well, what a well thought out choice that was. ... Actually, he's not being inducted into the entire hall, just the men's room" --Jay Leno
 
"There was a Republican debate held in Dearborn, Michigan. It was 'Law & Order' star Fred Thompson's first presidential debate. I'd say the addition of Fred Thompson has given these debates exactly what they need -- another old white guy." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"But the main story line of the debate turned out to be an actual argument between Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani about tax cuts. It got pretty ugly [on screen: Romney calling one of Giuliani's assertions 'baloney']. Ohhh, sugar! Let's keep this civil. We don't want Romney going all 'applesauce this' and 'fudgesticks that' on your ass. Baloney? Who says baloney?" --Jon Stewart
 
"The Republican debate is the first one that former Senator Fred Thompson will attend. Thompson says he wanted to attend the previous debates, but he got stuck driving his wife to cheerleading practice." --Conan O'Brien
 
"The Republicans had another big presidential debate on CNBC. CNBC -- it's like NBC, but with even less viewers. ... All the big name Republican candidates were there. The old guy was there, the really old guy was there, and the really, really old guy was there. ... Did you see 'em lined up? They looked like a pack of vanilla wafers. It's the attack of the white guys. It's a hockey game about to break out." -Jay Leno
 
"They finally revealed the cause of those fires ... in the bathroom of the Senate office building last week. Turns out, Idaho Senator Larry Craig's scented candle tipped over and lit his massage oils on fire." -Jay Leno
 
"Hybrid vehicles are so quiet at slow speeds that blind people say they are a safety risk. Again, this is another issue I don't think President Bush understands. Like today, Bush said, 'Maybe blind people shouldn't be driving them'" --Jay Leno
 
"During a recent speech, President Bush said, 'My job is a decision-making job. As a result, I have made a lot of decisions.' Apparently, Bush's decision that day was to write his own speech." --Conan O'Brien
 
"Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson is being criticized for being out of touch, because in a recent interview, he talked about strengthening our relationship with the Soviet Union. Which, of course, no longer exists. Thompson says he feels bad about the mistake and he plans to personally apologize to Stalin." --Conan O'Brien
 
"In a recent interview, journalist Robert Novak says that in order to get rid of Senator Larry Craig, the Republican leadership is going to have to 'get him in a room and slap him around.' When he heard this, Craig said, 'Don't say it unless you really mean it'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"The Chicago Cubs were swept by the Arizona Diamondbacks. Do you realize Arizona wasn't even a state the last time the Cubs won the World Series? To give you an idea of how long ago that was, Fred Thompson was still married to his first wife." --Jay Leno
 
"Columbus Day ... or, as Native Americans call it, 'Illegal Immigration Day.'" --Jay Leno
 
"Senator Larry Craig, the man of the peep hole ... I'm sorry, man of the people ... said he was going to resign. He has now vowed to stay in the Senate and finish his term. You know, you just don't flush a career like that down the toilet." --Jay Leno
 
"There's a new medical device that allows doctors to non-invasively view your colon on a television screen. The device is called a virtual colonoscopy. Or, as Senator Larry Craig calls it, 'A PlayStation'" --Jay Leno
 
"In a preview of a looming 2008 election battle over stem cell research and global warming, Hillary Clinton, Thursday, accused President George W. Bush of waging a war on science. Of course, based on his previous wars, this will probably just end up creating more scientists." --Seth Meyers
 
"According to a poll, Bill Clinton has emerged as an asset in his wife's campaign, with 60% of Americans saying they would be comfortable with him as first husband. While 71% of women say they'd be extremely comfortable with him as a second husband." --Amy Poehler

2007/10/11

I thought dildos were illegal in Alabama

@ 08:44 AM (25 months, 8 days ago)

You know, around here when a redneck wants to get "lucky" he just goes down to the local honky-tonk on a Saturday night, waits until some woman gets drunk and falls off a barstool, goes over and tells her her hair looks nice, then takes her home for the night.
 
Life would be a lot less complicated for the Republicans if some of those sanctimonious religious Righties would do the same thing. Who could have predicted that the word "Republican" would become synonymous with "bizarre sexual escapades"?
 
Because it's all coming out now about that Alabama minister who died breaking almost every rule of Leviticus, and some God hadn’t even thought of yet!
 
The Smoking Gun has new details from the case of Reverend Gary Michael Aldridge -- once worked for Jerry Falwell and pastor of the Thorington Road Baptist Church -- who was found dead from "accidental mechanical asphyxia" ... hogtied, and wearing two complete wet suits, a face mask, diving gloves and slippers, rubberized underwear, a head mask and a condom-covered dildo found in his nether regions.
 
What? No ball gag or nipple clamps? Amateur!
 
Talk about your Safe Sex ... he sure had enough rubber on him. Maybe he was just getting his Creature of the Black Lagoon costume ready for Halloween.
 
The condom on the dildo was a nice touch ... maybe it's an evangelical requirement.
 
"We will begin the healing process under the strong arm of our Savior, Jesus Christ," church officials say.
 
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008072scuba1.html
 
He was found about 10 am by a member of his church who became concerned after he failed to show up for church services.
 
I'll bet the look on that guy's face was priceless.
 

I'm so glad he's not MY Senator!

@ 08:28 AM (25 months, 8 days ago)

I would feel sorry for him if he wasn't such a hypocrite.
 
"Craig's `wide Stance' Enters Lexicon"
 
BOISE, Idaho (AP) -- Among the most famous excuses ever given for questionable behavior, ''I have a wide stance'' must fall somewhere between the schoolchild's favorite ''the dog ate my homework'' and President Clinton's ''I didn't inhale.''
 
But Sen. Larry Craig's contention -- made just after his arrest in a restroom sex sting -- has permeated the public consciousness, showing up as more than just the punch line to late-night talk show jokes.
 
....Craig uttered the now-famous phrase after an undercover police officer at the Minneapolis airport arrested him on June 11, according to police reports.
Sgt. Dave Karsnia claimed Craig entered a neighboring stall after peering at him through a crack in the door, then slid his foot underneath the stall divider, tapping it several times before moving it so it touched the officer's foot. Then, Karsnia said, Craig waved his hand underneath the divider. Karsnia said he recognized the gestures as a coded invitation for gay sex.
 
During questioning, the senator said he simply has a wide stance when using the restroom and that the officer must have seen him reaching to pick up a piece of paper on the floor, according to the police report.[..]"
 
http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-Wide-Stance.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
 
I just love this Republican ... the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving...
 
With the Democratic party being so spineless these days, if it weren't for the zany hypocritical shenanigans of certain Republicans we wouldn't have any luck at all.
 

2007/10/10

Bring along a cast iron flyswatter...

@ 08:20 AM (25 months, 9 days ago)

...or spray starch would bring those little buggers down.
 
You've heard of Dragonflies? Now we have Dragonspies! Oh no! Run away! The Washington Post reports that people at anti-war rallies are being bugged ... or rather, being watched by bugs ... or something.
 
Yes, mechanical insect spies and robot bugs are apparently being used by the Bush administration to monitor antiwar rallies. Can you believe it? Surveillance insects on gossamer wings equipped with tiny cameras, flying overhead clicking away at protestors.
 
No kidding, there really are such things -- micro air vehicles (MAVs). But they're supposed to be used in battle to buzz over enemy territory, because these dime-sized flying robots wouldn't be noticed by enemy troops below.
 
From the Washington Post, 10/9: "Vanessa Alarcon saw them while working at an antiwar rally in Lafayette Square last month.
 
"I heard someone say, 'Oh my god, look at those,' " the college senior from New York recalled. "I look up and I'm like, 'What the hell is that?' They looked kind of like dragonflies or little helicopters. But I mean, those are not insects."
 
Out in the crowd, Bernard Crane saw them, too.
 
"I'd never seen anything like it in my life," the Washington lawyer said. "They were large for dragonflies. I thought, 'Is that mechanical, or is that alive?' "
 
That is just one of the questions hovering over a handful of similar sightings at political events in Washington and New York. Some suspect the insectlike drones are high-tech surveillance tools, perhaps deployed by the Department of Homeland Security[..]"
 
The WaPo article has a picture:
http://tinyurl.com/yqwdst
 
So that’s where our health dollars go.
 
You know, the administration is already using drones to patrol the Mexican border and certain large cities. This project suggests to me that Blackwater can anticipate a strong market for privatized domestic surveillance.
 
Well, if they're going to spy on us anyway, I'd  prefer it be with something at least entertaining.
 
It all reminds me of the CIA's brilliant Operation Acoustic Kitty. Back during the cold war they implanted sophisticated bugging devices inside a cat. The idea was that the cat would eavesdrop on Soviet conversations from park benches, windowsills, etc. The cat was supposed to just stroll up completely unnoticed and transmit sensitive conversations.
 
Only it ran out into the street and got hit by a taxi. Five years of effort and millions of dollars were reduced to roadkill just like that.
 

2007/10/9

Late-night jokes 10/9

@ 06:44 AM (25 months, 10 days ago)
 
"The Iraqi government has ordered $100 million worth of weapons made in China. An Iraqi official said, 'We're hoping China makes weapons that are half as deadly as their toys.'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"If Dennis Kucinich is elected president, his wife would be the first First Lady ever with a pierced tongue. And he would be the first president ever to sit in the Oval Office on a booster seat." --Jay Leno
 
"New Rule: Now that Marcel Marceau is gone, George Bush must make all his public appearances as a mime. At a "No Child Left Behind" event this week, our "education" president - the one who once asked, "Is our children learning?" - said, and I quote, "Childrens do learn." And then he ate another paint chip." --Bill Maher
 
"Everyone's favorite Idaho senator who did not have gay sex in a public bathroom, Larry Craig, is back in the news. You may remember, he pleaded guilty to public indecency for playing footsie with an undercover cop in the men's room in the Minneapolis airport. Well, not long after that, he decided he was not playing footsie and asked the judge if he could withdraw his guilty plea. Well, the judge said 'no.' For some reason now, Senator Craig has decided not to resign. ... His fellow Republicans are not happy. They want him out of there. A lot of them stopped talking to him. Some of them have stopped having sex with him." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"The judge denied Senator Craig the chance to withdraw his guilty plea. So, it's official, he's stuck being gay." --Jay Leno
 
"In fact, Republicans are so mad about him staying, they may ask Cheney to take him out back and shoot him." --Jay Leno
 
"While out on the campaign trail, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney says that Republicans have to start acting like Republicans. I don't know, last week they avoided a debate with black people. You can't get more Republican than that." --Jay Leno
 
"The FBI is concerned that the mafia may go into business with al Qaeda. That's scary, isn't it? Wake up and find a goat head in your bed, that would be awful. In fact, they made al Qaeda an offer they couldn't refuse -- 72 hookers in this life." --Jay Leno
 
"Beautiful day here in New York City. ... So beautiful today, President Bush said, 'Maybe I won't do anything about global warming.'" --David Letterman
 
"President Bush's daughter Jenna is now saying she doesn't want to get married at the White House. She wants her wedding to be in Crawford, Texas. When asked why, Jenna said, 'I want my dad to be there.'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"Are the kids healthy? Because the news from Washington is ... well, uh, you're going to want to try and keep them that way. This week, everyone who is anyone in DC was talking about the proposed expansion of the so-called SCHIP health care program for low-income children. Congress has voted to expand the program by $35 billion over five years and add 2 to 4 million kids to the program, and is to be paid for with a 61-cent increase in the cigarette tax. So, in summation, the bill takes money from cigarettes and gives it to poor, sick children [on screen: Pres. Bush saying, 'That's why I'm going to veto the bill']. No health care for poor kids? You know, I thought something like that is only done by cartoon villains. You're slowly going from Nixon to Mr. Burns." --Jon Stewart
 
"Other Washington insiders tried impeccable logic [on screen: Sen. Trent Lott (R-MS) suggesting the increase in the cigarette tax would cause people to stop smoking and therefore, not fund the program]. It's fool proof! Wait, unless we convince poor kids to start smoking. Then they would pay for their own health care. Genius!" --Jon Stewart
 
"The airport bathroom where Senator Larry Craig was arrested is now being renovated to make the stall dividers go all the way down to the floor. When he heard this, Craig said, 'While you're at it, can you put in some mood lighting?'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"President Bush, for some reason, has vetoed the Child Health Insurance Plan. I believe his comment was, 'Childrens do get sick, but childrens do get better again.'" --Jay Leno
 
"Last week on Capitol Hill ... four bathroom fires broke out inside the Senate office building. Inside one bathroom, three big, burly firemen broke the door down, kicked in the stall, and Senator Craig said, 'My dreams have come true.'" --Jay Leno
 
"Recently, Hillary Clinton was asked what role her husband Bill would play if she becomes president. Hillary said Bill would be sent around the world as a roving ambassador. Gee, I wonder which one of them came up with that idea?" --Jay Leno
 
"The Wall Street Journal is reporting that Rudy Giuliani has taken cell phone calls from his wife over 40 times during speeches. 40 times! And each time, it was a different wife calling" --Jay Leno
 
"It was announced this week that over the summer, Hillary Clinton's campaign raised $27 million, while Barack Obama's campaign raised $22 million. In a related story, Dennis Kucinich found a nickel between the couch cushions." --Conan O'Brien
 
"Earlier today ... on Capitol Hill, firemen put out four small fires that were started in bathrooms at the Senate office building. Senator Larry Craig was seen running from the bathroom, screaming, 'I won't go quietly!'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"According to Reuters, Democratic candidates ... have raised more money than Republican candidates. Over the summer, Hillary Clinton raised like $27 million, Barack Obama collected well over $20 million, and Dennis Kucinich saved a ton of dough on his car insurance by switching to Geico." --Jay Leno
 
"They are turning the movie 'Brokeback Mountain' into a broadway musical. Auditions will be held at the Minneapolis airport men's room" --Jay Leno
 
"The Yankees made it into the play-offs ... on a wild card. By the way, that's also how we got President Bush." --David Letterman
 
"President Bush is now saying there's a good chance we will be bombing Iran ... because he is convinced they have nuclear weapons. Well, he would know." --David Letterman

2007/10/8

Will Rush report this on his radio show?

@ 08:54 AM (25 months, 11 days ago)

...about the "Phony" Pentagon? Because just when you thought they couldn't sink any lower...
 
Approximately 2,600 members of the Minnesota National Guard recently returned home after serving multiple tours of duty in Iraq. They served 22 months -- longer than any other ground combat unit -- received nine fatalities, and were awarded dozens of Purple Hearts.
 
But the Army wrote the orders for 1,162 of these soldiers for 729 days, making them ineligible -- BY ONE DAY -- for full educational benefits under the GI Bill, which requires written orders saying they were deployed for 730 days or more.
 
They absolutely knew that they were shorting these guys by doing that .. the military deliberately cut short their orders to avoid paying education benefits.
 
It doesn't surprise me, anymore the military is run like a corporation, and just like a corporation they will stiff you on pay, benefits, whatever .. if it will save them money.
 
Our VA hospitals are now privately run and they cut care for our soldiers to keep that bottom line healthy .. just like a corporation.
 
"National Guard Troops Denied Benefits After Longest Deployment Of Iraq War --MINNEAPOLIS, MN (NBC) -- When they came home from Iraq, 2,600 members of the Minnesota National Guard had been deployed longer than any other ground combat unit. The tour lasted 22 months and had been extended as part of President Bush's surge.
 
1st Lt. Jon Anderson said he never expected to come home to this: A government refusing to pay education benefits he says he should have earned under the GI bill.
 
"It's pretty much a slap in the face," Anderson said. "I think it was a scheme to save money, personally. I think it was a leadership failure by the senior Washington leadership... once again failing the soldiers."
 
Anderson's orders, and the orders of 1,161 other Minnesota guard members, were written for 729 days.
 
Had they been written for 730 days, just one day more, the soldiers would receive those benefits to pay for school.[..]"
 
http://www.wcsh6.com/news/article.aspx?storyid=71741
 
This is the National Guard .. you know, the people who are supposed to be here to protect our country from invasion and help us with disasters like Katrina .. NOT invading other countries.
 
This is no different from the bean counters who determine disability ratings for injured vets. It’s all about "the bottom line" .. NOT living up to promises or doing what’s right for the troops.
 
And they pull this same trick on disabled vets. They rate them 29% disabled because if they are rated 30% disabled they get lifetime health benefits and a pension.
 
It might be nice if Congress gave us the pleasure of meeting the people who signed all these orders that cheat our vets. Would the Armed Services Committee please invite them all up to the Capitol so we can see them?
 

2007/10/7

Bill Maher: "The government isn't your nanny, it's your dealer."

@ 06:14 AM (25 months, 12 days ago)

From Bill Maher's New Rules:

If you believe you need to take all the pills the pharmaceutical industry says you do, then you're already on drugs.

Yes, it's that time in the campaign where all the candidates are presenting their health care proposals. Hillary's covers children's teeth. Edwards has one that includes maintaining gorgeous, shiny hair and Barack Obama's involves going on Oprah, and everyone gets a gastric bypass!

But, none of the plans address the real problem. We won't stop being sick until we stop making ourselves sick. Because - because there is a point where even the most universal government health program can't help you. They can't outlaw unhealthy food or alcohol or cigarettes. Just pot, sadly.

Because, you see, the government isn't your nanny. They're your dealer. And they subsidize illness in America. They have to. There's too much money in it. You see, there's no money in healthy people. And there's no money in dead people. The money is in the middle. People who are alive, sort of -- but with one or more chronic conditions that puts them in need of Celebrex or Nasonex or Valtrex or Lunesta. Fifty years ago, children didn't even get Type 2 Diabetes. Now, it's an emerging epidemic. As are a long list of ailments which used to be rare, and have now been "mainstreamed."

Things like asthma and autism and acid reflux, and arthritis, allergies, adult acne, attention deficit disorder. And that's just the "A's."

Doesn't anybody wonder why we live with all this illness? I'll tell you why. At the L.A. County Fair last week, they were serving something called "Fried Coke." Now, my first thought was, gosh, what a waste of a perfectly good "Eight Ball." But, no, they actually pour the Coca-Cola syrup into a deep fryer.

Then put it in a cup and top it with sugar and whipped cream, and a cherry, because, you know, fruit is good for you.

Would it really be that much more unhealthy to get molested by one of the carnies?

In Hillary Clinton's health plan, the words "nutrition" and "exercise" appear once. The word "drugs" 14 times. Just as the pharmaceutical companies want it. You know, their ad weasels love to say, "When diet and exercise fail." Well, diet and exercise don't fail. A fact brought home last week by a new Duke University study that showed exercise - yes, exercise - is just as effective a cure for depression as Paxil and Zoloft.

So ask your doctor if getting off your ass is right for you!

You know, if Republicans can sell the idea of preemptive war, Democrats have to at least get us interested in the idea of preventive medicine. Someone has to stand up and say that the answer isn't another pill. The answer is spinach. Okay, not spinach. Turns out that crap'll kill you. But you know what I mean!

 

2007/10/6

Playing Hardball with the Preznit

@ 07:36 AM (25 months, 13 days ago)

My, my .. how the worm has turned.
 
TV show host Chris Matthews is calling his Bushie buddies criminal now. He shoulda said this three years ago .. not after the damage is done.
 
As this White House crumbles and Americans wise up to the seven years of criminal acts, Chris Matthews is now saved and found Jesus .. just in time for a new President. He must be trying to get some Liberal cred .. wants to be welcomed to all the A-list cocktail parties.
 
Unfortunately, the Democrats who’ll likely replace the Bushies will just as happily enjoy Matthews’ fawning and sucking up as the last gang did. It's the nature of the beast, politics.
 
"Matthews says Bush administration has "finally been caught in their criminality"
From examiner.com: "Chris Matthews had barely finished praising his colleagues at the 10th anniversary party for his “Hardball” show Thursday night in Washington, D.C. when his remarks turned political and pointed, even suggesting that the Bush administration had "finally been caught in their criminality."
 
...The Clinton camp, he said, never put pressure on his bosses to silence him.
 
“Not so this crowd,” he added, explaining that Bush White House officials -- especially those from Vice President Cheney's office -- called MSNBC brass to complain about the content of his show and attempted to influence its editorial content. "They will not silence me!" Matthews declared.
 
"They've finally been caught in their criminality," Matthews continued, although he did not specify the exact criminal behavior to which he referred. He then drew an obvious Bush-Nixon parallel by saying, “Spiro Agnew was not an American hero."
 
Matthews left the throng of Washington A-listers with a parting shot at Cheney: “God help us if we had Cheney during the Cuban missile crisis. We’d all be under a parking lot.”[..]
 
http://tinyurl.com/22emfa
 
I’m sure he’s not the only one the Bushies tried to silence.
 
Of course he didn’t specify the exact criminal behavior .. they only had the hall rented for one night.
 
Maybe Chris is looking at the hit job they did on Dan Rather, and decided he’s not gonna play.
 
Nah .. he’s trying to sell his latest book. Nuff said.
 
Anyway, I quit watching Chris Matthews in 2000, when he was shilling so hard for George Bush .. and he said this about Al Gore -- "He doesn’t even look like an American to me." That floored me .. not an attack on ideas and issues, just on how someone looks.
 
Matthews may be a good husband, father and son, mind you .. but as a so-called “journalist”, he’s a transparent, opportunistic brown-nose.
 
PS -- regardless of Chris’s view of his Daily Show interview, he was definitely skewered by Jon Stewart .. with Jon trying to be professional and all. Usually, the host doesn’t read the book, only the jacket cover, and then sits mute while the author plugs away. Not Stewart. Very seldom do you see an author called out on how the actual premise of the book is bullshit.
 

2007/10/5

GOP's skunk in the Senate

@ 11:53 AM (25 months, 13 days ago)
 
Just when you thought it was safe to be a Republican again...
 
Senator Larry Craig announced his plans to remain in the Senate, even though a Minnesota judge has denied Craig's request to withdraw his guilty plea in an airport sex sting.
 
Boy, I'd love to play poker with Senator Larry Craig. He keeps upping the ante when he has no hand .. I would win ALL his money.
 
The judge in the Larry Craig circus/retrial took one look at the Idaho Senator's attempt to withdraw his guilty plea and said, "No way, buster ... The defendant, a career politician with a college education, is of at least above-average intelligence," the judge wrote. "He knew what he was saying, reading and signing."
 
(CNN) -- Sen. Larry Craig on Thursday said he was not resigning from the Senate despite a Minnesota judge denying his request to withdraw his guilty plea stemming from his arrest in a sex sting at an airport men's room. [..]"
 
 
So, it's been two months .. Craig is still guilty, and he's still in the Senate. Maybe his state of denial is so strong because his refusal to resign is tied in with his refusal to admit he likes gay sex.
 
I would like see the guy ousted from office .. but not because he's gay or likes man sex. I'd like it to be because of his failure to uphold and defend the Constitution.
 
Keep in mind, we go into rest rooms and pull our pants down without getting arrested for indecent exposure. Therefore, rest room stalls are NOT public places.
 
So, what happens in the privacy of Larry's stall is not my business .. unless he hits on a minor child, which is why I think it's okay for cops to keep an eye on the men's room.
 
Of course, I don't like the hypocrisy of a closet homosexual legislating against homosexuality. But, legislating against homosexuality is still an issue regardless of one's one sexuality.
 
My real issue with Craig is his failure to defend the Constitutional rights of a minority. He has repeatedly failed to defend the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness for ALL people .. so he should clearly be removed from office.

Mercenaries for Jesus

@ 10:12 AM (25 months, 13 days ago)

...would be a pretty good advertising slogan for what Blackwater represents, because it turns out that Blackwater's CEO is born-again Christian, comes from a prominent evangelical family who gave gobs of money to Bush's election campaigns.
 
No wonder they have a no-bid contract....
 
I don't think we'll ever get rid of mercenaries, but we surely need to regulate them better. So, the House voted 389-30 to bring "all United States government contractors in the Iraq war zone under the jurisdiction of American criminal law."
 
Welll .. Congress can pass all the laws it wants to rein in private security contractors. Bush will just append it with a signing statement saying simply that in a time of war the executive reserves the right to ignore it .. said contractor's operations and the rules governing them will be a matter of national security and you can shove your legislation.....
 
Anyway, under the new law, the FBI would be the lead agency investigating any wrongdoing.
 
It certainly looks like there needs to be an investigation. The Washington Post is reporting that US soldiers were present in Nisoor Square last month when Blackwater guards opened fire and killed 14 Iraqis .. and American troops back up the Iraqi account of what happened. I told you video proof would emerge.
 
Wait for the American troops who give a deposition to the effect that Blackwater was at fault, to get the full "phony soldier" treatment from the Rabid Righties.
 
From washingtonpost.com: BAGHDAD, Oct. 4 ...
"U.S. military reports from the scene of the Sept. 16 shooting incident involving the security firm Blackwater USA indicate that its guards opened fire without provocation and used excessive force against Iraqi civilians, according to a senior U.S. military official.
 
....The U.S. military reports appear to corroborate the Iraqi government's contention that Blackwater was at fault in the shooting incident in Nisoor Square, in which hospital records say at least 14 people were killed and 18 were wounded.
 
"It was obviously excessive, it was obviously wrong," said the U.S. military official, who spoke on condition of anonymity because the incident remains the subject of several investigations. "The civilians that were fired upon, they didn't have any weapons to fire back at them. And none of the IP or any of the local security forces fired back at them," he added, using a military abbreviation for the Iraqi police. The Blackwater guards appeared to have fired grenade launchers in addition to machine guns, the official said.[..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/3ct7ug
 
A grenade launcher. I guess a machine gun just wasn't effective enough against unarmed civilians.
 
Guess who is guarding the FBI agents in Iraq who are investigating allegations that Blackwater employees murdered civilians in cold blood?
 
Blackwater employees, that's who.
 
You know, being guarded by the people you are investigating could have a prejudicial effect on the investigators .. it could be seen as a temptation to the guarders, not only to interfere with the investigation, but also to intimidate the investigators.
 
"Sorry buddy, can't escort you out there to follow a lead .. it's much too dangerous."
 
Or, if Blackwater knows where the FBI is headed, couldn't they call ahead and run interference? Tamper with evidence or witnesses?
 
And boy, think of the stink if an FBI agent under Blackwater "protection" is injured or killed?
 
Blackwater guarding the investigators of Blackwater just seems like a corrupt and dangerous idea all around.
 
And no wonder this war is costing us 12-15 Billion per month .. I read that we have as many contractors in Iraq as we have soldiers, well over 100,000 .. and we pay them scads more than we pay our soldiers.
 
I guess that's one way to avoid re-instating the draft .. hire 100,000 civilians and throw lots of cash at them.
 

2007/10/4

Senator Domenici 5th Republican to bail

@ 09:58 AM (25 months, 14 days ago)
 
I heard on the radio that he'll say the reason is a "progressive brain disease."
 
Somehow, "progressive brain disease" and Republicans fit so nicely together in the same sentence.
 
From msnbc.msn.com: "WASHINGTON - Republican Sen. Pete Domenici of New Mexico intends to retire at the end of his term next year, closing out a 36-year career in Congress, Republican officials said Wednesday.
 
The officials said the 75-year-old Domenici intends to make a formal announcement on Thursday in his home state. They spoke on condition of anonymity to avoid pre-empting the six-term lawmaker.
 
Domenici would be the fifth Republican senator to decline to seek a new term, giving Democrats an opportunity to expand their majority in the 2008 elections....[..]
 
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21120728/
 
Let's revisit recent history and make sure we view the Domenici retirement through the appropriate lens, shall we?
 
Domenici is leaving under a cloud of scandal and possible future criminal indictment, stemming from the Department of Justice US Attorneys firings. He's accused of trying to pressure a US Attorney into using his office to influence the outcome of an election.
 
Fired US Attorney David Iglesias testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee that he felt "leaned on" and "sickened" when Domenici called him at home wanting information about an investigation of a local Democrat. Domenici asked Iglesias if charges would be filed before the election, and when Iglesias told him they would not, Domenici said "That’s too bad" .. and hung up.
 
Doesn't sound like a hanging offence, but it is a BIG NO NO for a Senator to call a US Atty at home about a case the US Atty is working on.
 
Anyway, he can now say his sick brain made him do it .. that his illness affected his behavior while in Congress and made him do and say stupid things.
 
The investigations into whether Domenici violated Senate ethics rules, and/or engaged in criminal conduct, are still ongoing.
 
Later this month, when Bush’s pick for Attorney General comes up for confirmation, I'll bet certain revelations will be brought to light about certain Senators who were involved in the US Attorney scandal.
 
BTW -- since when is having a progressive brain disease an impediment for being in Congress? Sometimes you'd think it's a requirement.

Late-night jokes 10/4

@ 06:51 AM (25 months, 15 days ago)
 
"You know that bathroom in the Minneapolis airport where Senator Larry Craig got caught? Well, the airport is now spending a ton of money to build new stall dividers that go all the way to the ground ... to make it a less inviting spot for sexual activity. And today, Senator Craig said, 'Minneapolis, tear down that wall!'" --Jay Leno
 
"Here's good news: George W. Bush says that he is committed to fighting global warming. Yeah, well, he nipped that in the bud, didn't he? ... President Bush says he's really going to buckle down now and fight global warming. As a matter of fact, he announced today he's sending 20,000 troops to the sun" --David Letterman
 
"Iranian President Mahmoud Ahma-nut job said he thinks his speech at Columbia University was a huge success, and he thinks the American people thought so too. He said a number of Americans told him they want him to speak at Florida University. See, something got lost in the translation. Apparently, he didn't realize FU does not meant Florida University." --Jay Leno
 
"After he left the United States last week, the Iranian president met with the president of Venezuela. You know, if we could have just gotten Kim Jong-il down there, we could have had the first-ever nut ball trifecta." --Jay Leno
 
"Here's an interesting story: A man in New York is now suing Home Depot, claiming he became glued to a toilet seat. He was glued to the toilet seat and could not move. Or, as Idaho Senator Larry Craig called it, 'a dream weekend'" --Jay Leno
 
"A new poll of Democratic voters in Iowa has found that senior citizens prefer Hillary Clinton. Unfortunately for Hillary, the seniors still rank her third behind apple sauce and creamed spinach." --Conan O'Brien
 
"Let's turn to the 2008 election. As you know, if you are a minority or an interest group, the Democrats will hold a debate at your house, whereas Republicans take a slightly different approach. They have a big tent, you're just not allowed in it. Their candidates have already skipped forums with gays, Hispanics and bloggers ... But did you know they'll even blow off their own base? Last month, the four GOP frontrunners did not show at a debate sponsored by Evangelical Christians. There you see the podiums where Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, John McCain and Mitt Romney either never showed up or were Raptured out of. I would have been there, but Jesus needed me." --Jon Stewart
 
"Sure, blacks may be getting ignored now, but isn't that just getting them warmed up for next year, when they're really going to be ignored?" --Daily Show correspondent Larry Wilmore, on the Republican presidential candidates skipping the minority-issue debate
 
"You know Bill O'Reilly is in a little bit of trouble with the black folks. ... He had dinner in Harlem with Al Sharpton -- he must have lost a bet -- and he discovered that black people use utensils when they eat. He said he was shocked and delighted to see there was no difference between a black-owned restaurant and a white-owned restaurant. Which is true, because apparently, they both serve crackers" --Bill Maher
 
"Last week during a speech to the NRA, Rudy Giuliani was interrupted by a cell phone call, which he stopped his speech to answer. Giuliani then told the audience, 'That was my wife reminding me to pick up some milk at the 9-Eleven'" --Seth Meyers
 
"The Democrats had a very big week this week. They tacked a hate crimes bill onto the war spending bill. ... Apparently, attacks on gays, they said, is also actually terrorism. I don't have time to explain how this bill works, but next year, General Petraeus will be eligible for a Tony." --Bill Maher
 
"They also had a big debate this week, the Democrats. ... The news out of it was that they were asked, 'Do you think you could get the troops out of Iraq by the end of your first term in 2013?' All the frontrunners said 'no.' No! By 2013! Barack Obama called it 'the audacity of nope.'" --Bill Maher
 
"One awkward moment during the debate: John Edwards' phone rang and it was Giuliani's wife." --Bill Maher
 
"There is a new book out this week about President Bush by one of his longtime fans, Bill Sammon. ... It's called the 'Evangelical President,' and it's pretty standard Bush idolatry. You know, he's smarter than we think, his enemies are just jealous, he's ahead of his time. By the way, if you order it though Amazon, they recommend you might also like 'The 10 Pound Bag of Bulls**t.'" --Bill Maher
 
"The president of Iran was the laughing stock of the world this week when he said there are no homosexuals in Iran. ... That's a pretty awful place to be gay. Did you know homosexuals are executed in Iran? ... But only if a homosexual act either between two men or two women is witnessed by four or more other men. That shows you the difference in our culture. ... Like in Iran, two women having sex witnessed by four men, that's called a capital crime. See, here, that would be called a bachelor party." --Jay Leno
 
"Congress has been having hearings this week concerning the increasing number of late airline flights. Congress said they may have to intervene in order to help the airlines improve. And really, who better than Congress to show you how to make your business run more efficiently?" --Jay Leno
 
"PBS host Tavis Smiley ... was the moderator at the Republican debate on minority issues at Morgan State University. But not one of the four leading Republican candidates -- Giuliani, Thompson, McCain or Romney -- showed up for the debate on black issues. How are you going to stand up to the terrorists when you're afraid of a guy named Tavis Smiley?" --Jay Leno
 
"In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network, Rudy Giuliani said he is guided by Jesus and the Bible, and he doesn't want people to judge his private life. He then said, 'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.' And then Mitt Romney hit him in the head with a rock" --Jay Leno
 
"On this program in the past, we have occasionally ribbed our current president. ... But it's in no way indicative of any real feelings about the president's abilities or policies. It's nothing personal ... until now. Yesterday, surrounded by school children, speaking in defense of his education policy, the president said this [on screen: Bush saying, 'Childrens do learn']. Childrens do learn, or does they? 'Childrens do learn' while talking about education. Let me tell you something, sir, myself and this show, we don't need your charity. I have a full staff of very talented writers and producers working for me and we can't even make that funnier by taking that out of context. ... --Jon Stewart
 
"Last night was the premiere of 'Dancing Around The Issues,' otherwise known as the Democratic presidential debate. ... The three Democratic frontrunners said last night ... that setting a timetable for complete withdrawal is irresponsible, because you can't project what the future situation will be in Iraq and pulling out troops basically depends on the situation on the ground. Otherwise known as the 'Bush plan.'" --Jay Leno
 
"America's favorite restroom enthusiast Senator Larry Craig of Idaho said this week that he will not resign. Remember he said he was going to resign, then he didn't know, then he said he would, and now he says he's not going to resign. The man can't make up his mind. To which his wife said, 'Tell me about it.'" --Jay Leno
 
"Yesterday, Senator Craig officially withdrew his guilty plea. He must have changed it to not guilty by reason of temporary gayness. ... No, he was saying he hopes the judge has an open mind or a wide stance." --Jay Leno
 
"Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney had to cancel his campaign schedule last week. He was pretty sick. He was coughing up blue blood. " --Jay Leno
 
"Arnold Schwarzenegger got together with Al Gore for a climate change summit. Even though he's a Republican and Al Gore's a Democrat, it's good they could talk robot to robot." --Jay Leno
 
"President Bush gave a speech urging Congress to reauthorize the No Child Left Behind Act. See, I think the reason President Bush is so adamant about this is, I think he might have been a child left behind himself. Listen carefully to what he says here [on screen: Bush saying, 'Childrens do learn']. Exactly, see that." --Jay Leno
 
"There was a debate between the Republican candidates for president in Baltimore tonight. The debate focused on minority issues, and it was at Morgan State University, which is a black college. ... None of the top four Republican candidates were there. Giuliani, McCain, Romney and Thompson -- not one of them showed up. Apparently, they all had scheduling conflicts that prevented them from going to a place where nobody will vote for them" --Jimmy Kimmel

2007/10/3

Sinking in a Swamp Full of Blackwater

@ 05:14 AM (25 months, 16 days ago)

 

(my attempts at exposing Blackwater were sooo puny compared to MoDo's)

"He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster," Nietzsche said. "And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."

We’re gazing into the abyss all right, and Blackwater is gazing back.

Besides having an army for hire, brave kids who are paid to fight so that most Americans are not personally touched by war, we have the real mercenaries. And they’re a spooky cadre, careening outside the laws of Iraq, the United States and the military.

President Bush continues to preach that we must defeat the "dark ideology" of extremists with "a more hopeful vision."

But the compromises W. makes to slog on in Iraq, be it with warlords, dictators or out-of-control contractors, are spreading a dark stain on America’s image.

"Blackwater appears to have fostered a culture of shoot first and sometimes kill, and then ask the questions," said Representative Elijah Cummings, a Democrat, yesterday at a House hearing.

The Times reports today that Blackwater’s explanation of an incident in Baghdad on Sept. 16 that left 17 dead and 24 wounded is sketchy.

It seems as though a bullet struck an Iraqi man driving his mother to pick up his father, a pathologist, at the hospital. The dead man’s weight, The Times reports, "probably remained on the accelerator and propelled the car forward" toward a Blackwater convoy.

Blackwater guards then unleashed a spray of gunfire and explosives, even though witnesses did not see anyone shooting at the American convoy and even though Iraqis were turning their cars around and escaping the scene.

Newsweek quotes the Iraqi national police as saying that Blackwater vehicles "opened fire crazily and randomly, without any reason."

The Blackwater desperados are a sinister symbol of how little progress we’ve made in Iraq, that V.I.P.’s — or "packages," as the contractors call them — can’t make a move in the country without the high-priced hired guns of the State Department.

Americans have been antimercenary since the British sent 30,000 German Hessians after George Washington in the Revolutionary War.

But W. outsourced his presidency to Cheney and Rummy, and Cheney and Rummy went to war on the cheap and outsourced large chunks of the Iraq occupation to Halliburton and Blackwater. The American taxpayer got gouged, and so did the American reputation.

The mercenaries inflame Iraqis even as Gen. David Petraeus tries to win their trust.

Henry Waxman, the chairman of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee, summoned the 38-year-old crew-cut chairman of Blackwater, Erik Prince, to defend his private security company yesterday.

Once there was the military-industrial complex. Now we have the mercenary-evangelical complex.

Mr. Prince, a former intern to the first President Bush and a former Navy Seal, is from a well-to-do and well-connected Republican family from Michigan.

He and his father both have close ties to conservative Christian groups. His sister was a Pioneer for W., raising $100,000 in 2004, and Erik Prince has given more than $225,000 to Republicans.

Blackwater, in turn, has been the beneficiary of $1 billion in federal contracts, including a no-bid contract with the State Department worth hundreds of millions.

Mr. Waxman yesterday called the State Department "Blackwater’s enabler." His committee staff summarized State Department reports revealing a cascade of Blackwater trouble.

"In a high-profile incident in December 2006, a drunken Blackwater contractor killed the guard of Iraqi Vice President Adil Abdul Mahdi. Within 36 hours after the shooting, the State Department had allowed Blackwater to transport the Blackwater contractor out of Iraq."

The State Department chargé d’affaires "suggested a $250,000 payment to the guard’s family, but the Department’s Diplomatic Security Service said this was too much and could cause Iraqis to ‘try to get killed.’ " In the end, they agreed on a $15,000 payment.

"The State Department took a similar approach," the report stated, "upon receiving reports that Blackwater shooters killed an innocent Iraqi, except that in this case, the State Department requested only a $5,000 payment to ‘put this unfortunate matter behind us quickly.’ "

Mr. Prince was pressed by Representative Paul Hodes about the penalty paid by the Blackwater employee who, while drunk and off-duty at a Christmas party, killed the Iraqi guard.

The man was fired. And he had to pay his own airfare home and forfeit his bonuses, amounting to a loss of about $14,697 — slightly less than the amount paid to the family of the Iraqi he blew away.

By MAUREEN DOWD-New York Times-October 3, 2007-Washington

2007/10/2

Republicans Fade to White

@ 05:37 AM (25 months, 17 days ago)

Top-tier GOP candidates boycott the 'minority debate' in Baltimore .. maybe they were afraid the audience would be shuckin' and jivin' and yellin' for their motherf**kin' ice tea.
 
Can't wait for the SNL/Mad TV spoofs....
 
From Associated Press: BALTIMORE - Republican presidential candidates discussed the importance of reaching out to people of color during a minority issues debate Thursday night and criticized the leading four GOP contenders for skipping it. [..]"
 
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070928/ap_on_el_pr/gop_minorities_debate
 
Yep, four lecterns stood empty on stage at Morgan State University .. as four candidates--Rudy Giuliani, Fred Thompson, John McCain and Mitt Romney declined their invitation to debate.
 
The decision by these top-tier presidential candidates to skip the debate in front of the African-American community continues to stir debate. No one believes the “scheduling” explanation for a minute, and several prominent Republicans -- Gingrich, Kemp, Mehlman, Watts* and Steele -- have taken the candidates to task for snubbing minorities and not taking the opportunity to talk about the challenges facing Blacks in the United States today.
 
Next, Pat Buchanan came on “Meet the Press” Sunday and explained it all -- seems that speaking to minorities at this stage is a waste of time. Blacks will never vote for Republicans, so why should Republican candidates spend any of their precious time and money trying to get votes that do not exist.
 
A top-tier candidate probably would hesitate to show himself sympathetic to the needs of non-white voters in America. See, that would be bad for their racist base .. who might start to think that the candidate isn’t racist enough for their tastes.
 
By racist, I don't mean the "I hate coons" kind (although there are certainly more than a few of those), but rather the "I'm not comfortable around black people kind" .. or the "my family would never accept a black person kind"...
 
I remember when the GOP got into power how quickly they set about picking apart affirmative action. Blacks like Justice Clarence Thomas had been helped to excel by affirmative action .. but he also spoke against it.
 
Yes, Bush appointed minorities to his cabinet, many think it was a transparent attempt at tokenism, because Rice and Gonzales will go down in history as colossal disappointments.
 
Bush has always tried to pander to Hispanics, especially. Remember the immigration bill? Look how well that worked out with his racist base.
 
Bush/Rove were smart enough to know that the only way to have their permanent Republican majority was to get the party to move away from racism and to start opening the tent flaps to Black, Hispanic and Asian voters .. but the racists said no no no, reared up and regained control, using immigration as their excuse.
 
The GOP is not known as the White People’s Party for nothing. They do not seem to value any vote other than the WASP vote. The party has successfully transformed itself from “The Party of Lincoln” into “The Party of Jefferson Davis” over the last few decades.
 
The GOP spends so much time figuring out and legislating ways to make sure fewer people of color vote -- we should all be working our arses off to make sure that as many eligible Americans vote as possible. Voter ID laws were passed in several states, Democrats need to remind everybody to get a picture ID well ahead of time, and make sure they're registered to vote.
 
*Speaking of J.C. Watts (a good Okie and one of my favorite Republicans) .. I remember when he joined the Republican party and his father told the LA Times -- "A Black man voting for the Republicans makes about as much sense as a chicken voting for Col. Sanders."
 
J.C. decided to leave office after he figured out that they were just using him as a token .. and they kept breaking promises to him. One of the Hill's most formidable political pit bulls, Tom DeLay, did everything he could to push Watts away from the leadership table. When Watts was elected chairman of the House Republican Conference one November, he didn't get a staff and budget until the middle of March. By then everyone was saying look how poorly he's doing his job.
 
He really did want to bridge the gap between Blacks and Republicans .. but he was only a broken piece of black lead in a white pencil.
 

2007/10/1

Bill Maher's New Rules (Junk email, lips, religion)

@ 07:04 AM (25 months, 18 days ago)

 

New Rule: Junk emailers have to stop trying to fool me by writing "Hey, what's up?" in the subject line. Sure, it worked on me the first couple hundred times. And, yes, I'm enjoying the Viagra and my Ukrainian mail-order bride. But, stop bothering me, Replica-Rolex.com! I'm trying to talk to this deposed Nigerian prince who just needs my PIN number to make me rich!

New Rule: Our next president must have lips. [shot of George Bush with lips pursed] I'm not asking for full, pouty, Angelina Jolie lips. I just want to be able to see where the lies are coming from.

And finally, New Rule: Just because the Constitution doesn't have a religious test for office, doesn't mean I can't. This past Monday was Constitution Day in the U.S. And while I was going over the Constitution with my two adopted kids--Zack Ono and Mogadishu--I'm home schooling them--I was struck again by Article 6, Section 3. It says, "No religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office." And I agree. No one should ever be disqualified for their religion. Even the funny ones. Like all of them.

But, the problem is that there is a religious test in this country. According to a recent poll, seven in ten say it's important to have a president with strong religious beliefs. The other three couldn't take the poll because it was Friday night and Yahweh wouldn't let them answer the phone.

But, fair is fair. So, for myself and the other 15-20% of American who the majority call "non-believers," but who I call "rationalists," here is our religious test for office: if you believe in Judgment Day, I have to seriously question your judgment.

If you believe you're in a long-term relationship with an all-powerful space-daddy--who will, after you die, party with your ghost forever--you can't have my vote, even for Miss Hawaiian Tropic.

I can't trust you at the levers of government because there's an electrical fire going on in your head.

Maybe a president who didn't believe our soldiers were going to Heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.

Candidate Mitt Romney, a Mormon, believes in spiritually-blessed underwear that can protect him. He seemed like a nice man, and so do his sons, Wally and the Beav. But, I'm sorry, their religion is bat-shit. It's like Scientology without the celebrities. And he has every right to run for president while believing in magic underwear, and believing that Jesus survived his own death and will return during an Osmonds' concert in Branson. And I have every right to take that into consideration in the voting booth.

And at the end of the day, is magic underwear really that much crazier than giant arks or virgin births or talking bushes? You're either a rationalist or you're not. And the good news is, a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say they are rationalists and have figured out that Santa Claus and Jesus are really the same guy.

Now, 20% is hardly a majority, but it's a bigger minority than blacks, Jews, homosexuals, NRA members, teachers or seniors. And it's certainly enough to stop being shy about expressing the opinion that WE'RE NOT THE CRAZY ONES!

Just because the vote is 4-to-1, it doesn't mean the minority is wrong. People who were against this war from the start were a minority. The majority used to believe the world was flat. But if you believe that today, you'd either be packed off to Bellevue or asked to co-host "The View."