Sooner Be Blue

Mostly politics, a few current events, a squirt of seltzer down yer pants .. a little blog for my rambles and rants.

2008/3/30

Take THAT Sean Hannity!

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@ 05:45 AM (3 months, 11 days ago)

From Bill Maher's "Real Time" on HBO:

"When Barack Obama didn’t hear Reverend Wright say those awful things about America, he still should have rushed the stage, smite Reverend Wright with the cross, and left the church. If there’s anything the right wing can agree on, it’s that. And that gays are going hell, right after they suck them off in the airport bathroom.

But it raises an obvious question, one that I haven’t heard asked, which is strange because it’s so obvious: If you leave a church when the head of the church says bad things about America, what do you do when your church hierarchy is caught up in a systematic and decades-long sex abuse scandal? And did I mention the people being sexually abused were children? Hundreds of them?

How about when the head of that church, or Pope, associated with and promoted members of the clergy who not only facilitated the sexual abuse and rape of hundreds and hundreds of children, but engaged in a decades-long cover-up of those crimes?

Reverend Wright associated with Farrakhan. The Pope works with Cardinal Law. Which is worse? Isn’t it the man who shuffled "priests" like Shanley and Geoghan and many others from parish to parish with the full knowledge of their crimes, and then claimed he had no idea?

Yes, by Sean Hannity’s own logic, Catholics like him, en masse, would be expected to abandon their church. Which shouldn’t be a problem, because they worship Reagan anyway.

COLMES:Then shouldn’t John McCain say he doesn’t support the views of a man who makes anti-Catholic statements?

OBENSHAIN: He did, I believe. He said I’m not–I don’t agree with everything — a..

COLMES: And Obama says he does not support anti-Semitism, as expressed by Louis Farrakhan.

HANNITY: Leave the church.

Well, what about it, Sean? Shouldn’t you leave your church? I mean, like, five years ago?

And since you haven’t, how do we know you’re not also a secret child f**ker? Again, just using your logic:

HANNITY:…What if he really deep down in his heart thinks like Pastor Wright?

LUNTZ: It’s not for anyone to answer that question.

HANNITY: Well, is that dangerous for this country? I think that would be dangerous. That would mean we would have — if he agreed with Wright, and I don’t know that he does, but if he did, that would mean a racist and an anti-Semite would be president of the United States.

Side note: Does it occur to anyone that, for the past five years, the nuts every politician has been busy distancing themselves from–Reverend Wright, Reverend Falwell, Reverend Hagee, Reverend Haggard, Reverend Robertson–are all, you know, reverends?

Why don’t we just go back to the days when politicians kept their religions to themselves? Wasn’t that better?"

 

2008/3/28

Late-night jokes recap 3/28

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@ 10:59 AM (3 months, 12 days ago)

"Hey, John McCain is moving up in the polls. In fact, he appears to be getting support from younger voters. How young you say? Well, yesterday, he was endorsed by Nancy Reagan. ... She said she's either going to endorse McCain or nobody. Well, that's got to make you feel good, huh?" --Jay Leno

Read the rest of this entry ... (1280 words left)

2008/3/27

Old Fogey Warrior

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@ 06:52 AM (3 months, 14 days ago)
 
Bill Maher went hard after John McCain for his repeated misstatements on the Iran/al Qaeda connection on last Friday’s episode of Real Time, here's some of it:
 
New Rule: Old soldiers never die, they get young soldiers killed. This week John McCain said for the third time in two days, that Iran, a Shi’ite stronghold was training al Qaeda a militant Sunni organization. That the Hatfields of the Muslim world would be working with the McCoys is so not true even Dick Cheney hasn’t said it.
 
Now the press, which loves McCain because he feeds them BBQ, dismissed this as just one of those senior moments. Not to worry, he’s only going to have his finger on the nuclear trigger.
 
But it’s not just a ‘gaffe,’ it’s what McCain really thinks. And therein lies the paradox of this campaign: McCain’s strength is really his weakness. He’s a warrior who’s dumb about war.
 
Whoever read The Art of War, chapter three of The Art of War says, “Know thy enemy.” And John McCain plainly doesn’t. He thinks the solution is our presence in the Middle East. No, the problem is our presence in the Middle East.
 
That’s why I don’t care if John McCain is better than Bush on global warming or torture or campaign finance, because he’s exactly the same as Bush on the war. They both don’t get the same thing. As long as we’re setting up shop in the heart of the Arab world, we’re not keeping America safer.
 
Bin Laden goes ballistic over cartoons in Danish newspapers, and Goober and Grandpa want to put up a Hooters in Fallujah.
 
They don’t “hate us for our freedom,” they hate us for our fiefdom. Winning the War on Terror comes down to this: what will make us safer from pissed off Arab teenagers who are willing to die? There are a number of good answers to that question, but occupying their land for the next 100 years is not one of them.
 
Some people look at McCain and see a tough guy who is going to protect us from the “Islamofascists.” I look at him and see a walking Tom Clancy action figure who is going to get us all killed.
 
And yet a new poll shows that a majority of Americans believe John McCain is the candidate best qualified to answer when that red phone rings at 3:00 a.m., because he’d be up anyway, trying to pee.
 
Yes, 55% of Americans think it’s McCain who should answer that phone, because they know John McCain is a warrior. He will not waver or hesitate. He will answer that phone and give the order that sends men to die ....and it will turn out to be a recording asking him if he’s happy with his mortgage."
 
Bill has plenty more to say about current events here:
 
http://youtube.com/watch?v=i5taiDbxJWs
 

2008/3/25

Sticky tape it back together again?

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@ 08:06 AM (3 months, 15 days ago)

The other night on Bill Maher's TV show "Real Time" one of his guests was Australian CNN International Correspondent Michael Ware. The interview was live via satellite from Iraq. He's one of the few journalists who has been there for the entire war, not only with the soldiers, but also does interviews with the bad guys...was even kidnapped and survived.
 
Anyway, it was a very interesting discussion. I appreciate and respect Ware, he was the first mainstream journalist I ever heard say that the war in Iraq was lost, but yet he makes a case to Maher against a US pullout.
 
Even though I want the US out of Iraq as quickly as possible, I have to seriously ponder his words. Here’s an excerpt:
 
“Well, I guess, unfortunately from a purely self interested view from, say, the United States, you can pull out of here tomorrow. And lets forget about the moral horror that would ensue as everyone just starts hammering in to each other, you’ve also got to think about whatever disaster takes place here is sitting atop some of the world largest oil reserves. You reckon filling up at the bowser is expensive now, just imagine a regional proxy war here involving all the big oil players like Iran and Saudia Arabia and Iraq.
 
I mean, that’s just a nightmare from the hip pocket. Let alone those people who will die. Let alone the fact that Islamic Extremists and terrorists on both sides of the Islamic fence will just be having a field day. There’ll be more terrorist camps than you can shake a stick at.And you don't think that’s not going to come home and bite America. I’m sorry, America broke this country and for better or for worse, it’s going to have to work out how to sticky tape it back together, at least long enough for the world to breathe.”
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JSP0CYEvq4w
 
It was a thought provoking interview...Ware kept resonating the hopelessness of the situation. Yes, the USA broke that country but there is almost no way to fix it. The"Surge" was supposed to give the new government time to do their part, but its just as greedy and corrupt as Saddam ever was.
 
There is no exit strategy that will get us out without a lot more blood being spilled. Catch 22. Our military presence in the mid-east is also the reason we were attacked in the first place.
 
The scariest thing Michael Ware said was--" ...you’ve also got to think about whatever disaster takes place here is sitting atop some of the world largest oil reserves. You reckon filling up at the bowser is expensive now....."
 
So, our soldiers need to stay to protect the oil....
 
4000 dead soldiers to get to this point. A military expert said on TV this morning that we'll likely lose 5,000 more before we can leave.
 

2008/3/23

Is Obama's pastor disaster fading?

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@ 12:02 PM (3 months, 17 days ago)

"Gallup Daily: Obama Edges Ahead of Clinton"

After those Jeremiah Wright videos--showing Obama's former pastor giving inflammatory speeches--hit YouTube, Obama's numbers began to sink like a stone.

BTW--a lot of people thought the Clinton campaign was behind those videos being set loose on the Internet; turns out that a McCain aide, Soren Dayton, was suspended for releasing the videos. Just suspended...not fired like the Clinton worker who circulated the false email about Obama's religion.

Anyway, Obama's poll numbers dropped 10 points in just three days. Many of his supporters, especially the older ones, heard Wright's racial rants and said, 'whoa, I don't know enough about Barack Obama.'

Then he delivered his Philadelphia speech. A speech he wrote by himself in two days and two nights. A brave, uplifting and historic speech. The best I remember since the Civil Rights era--maybe the best in my lifetime--about the single most troubling issue our country has faced since its founding. Race. He told the unlovely and uncomfortable truth about racism....black racism and white racism. He didn't take sides.

And now these latest Gallup polls show that he has rallied. Democrats were asked their presidential nomination preferences...Obama reversed Clinton’s recent momentum and has edged ahead of her--48 percent to 45 percent.

So, it seems that Wright's fiery rhetoric didn't put Obama dead in the water after all. I'd like to think that after hearing his excellent Philadelphia speech people took time to mull it over, let its eloquence and fairness sink in, appreciate being talked to as an adult by a politician, before rallying behind him and turning back the tide.

Here's the latest Gallup:
"PRINCETON, NJ -- Barack Obama has quickly made up the deficit he faced with Hillary Clinton earlier this week, with the latest Gallup Poll Daily tracking update on Democratic presidential nomination preferences showing 48% of Democratic voters favoring Obama and 45% Clinton.[..]"

http://tinyurl.com/35lwoq

About those fiery speeches--does anyone think a black man grows to adulthood without being exposed to angry rhetoric from the older generation, the ones who were actually turned away from the lunch counter? Hearing others express their anger does not make one a disciple of that anger. If that were true, every single black American would be a ball of fury.

It's clear that Barack Obama does not desire to feed that anger. He's aware of it, and probably feels a measure of sympathy to those made angry, but he is obviously not caught up in the throes of that anger.

I think Sen. Obama is a decent man, who cares about all races of people. Looks like with a week's worth of hindsight and common sense, the average American voter has reached the same conclusion.

We must not forget you McCain supporters. Scroll down a bit on the Gallup report to see your guy leading both Obama and Clinton. And I know you'll enjoy this little piece of surreal performance art:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaP9eiWuX3s

What? It's serious?.....that makes it even funnier.

2008/3/21

And then he went fishing...

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@ 07:32 AM (3 months, 19 days ago)
 
The audacity of Dick Cheney never ceases to amaze me.
 
The other morning, on the fifth anniversary of the Iraq invasion, ABC’s Good Morning America aired an interview with Cheney on the war. During the segment, Cheney flatly told White House correspondent Martha Raddatz that he doesn’t care about the American public’s views on the war:
 
CHENEY: On the security front, I think there’s a general consensus that we’ve made major progress, that the surge has worked. That’s been a major success.
 
RADDATZ: Two-third of Americans say it’s not worth fighting. They’re looking at the value gain versus the cost in American lives, certainly, and Iraqi lives.
 
CHENEY: So? <sinister smirk>
 
RADDATZ So? You don’t care what the American people think?
 
CHENEY: No, I think you cannot be blown off course by the fluctuations in the public opinion polls..........
 
“Fluctuations in public opinion polls” my aunt fanny…it's been a pretty consistent drumbeat over the last 2-3 years that two-thirds of Americans think this war has been a colossal failure.
 
Cheney has won elections by talking about protecting life, but when a reporter asks him about the soldiers who have given their lives to the war he helped start, he barely bats an eye. “So?” he says.
 
Let us not forget that Cheney was deferred from military service five times during Vietnam.
 
Cheney doesn't even try to hide that he doesn’t give a flying fig what we the people think.
 
Maybe because his Halliburton stock is up over 3000 percent since he lied us into that war? Cheney and the Corporate Elite War Profiteers are now richer than ever.
 
Words can’t begin to describe my contempt for the man. Some people compare him to Dan Quayle, as being one of the worst VP's we've ever had. I don't agree, Quayle was not very bright, but he wasn't evil.
 
Anyway...Cheney went on to say:
 
"Think about what would have happened if Abraham Lincoln had paid attention to polls, if they had had polls during the Civil War. He never would have succeeded if he hadn’t had a clear objective, a vision for where he wanted to go, and he was willing to withstand the slings and arrows of the political wars in order to get there."
 
This is so infuriating I’m not sure where to start. Comparing himself and George Bush to Abraham Lincoln makes my skin crawl.
 
This Administration has been utterly incompetent in Iraq, everyone says so. And there is no comparison to the Civil War. The two wars have absolutely nothing in common strategically, tactically, culturally, politically...any way you can think of.
 
You wouldn't think Cheney would draw our attention to Lincoln having a clear objective in the Civil War when this White House has NEVER had a clear objective in Iraq. NEVER had a clear vision. They've flip-flopped so many times about why we're there and what we're trying to accomplish.
 
Of course, he couldn't tell Martha Raddatz the truth---that the invasion and occupation of Iraq were carried out primarily to establish permanent military bases so we could squat over all that lovely oil.
 
Oh yes, on the fifth anniversary of the Iraq invasion he went fishing... on a boat owned by the Sultan of Oman.

2008/3/20

ABC, devil with the blue dress

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@ 11:11 AM (3 months, 20 days ago)


I guess it took the entire ABC Investigative Journalist team to dig up this story. It would seem that we have such an honest, law-abiding and open administration that investigative journalists just don't have anything else to do.

Read the rest of this entry ... (491 words left)

2008/3/18

It is time for this madness to end

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@ 09:37 AM (3 months, 22 days ago)
 
We've spent five years and over a trillion dollars for this war, and we still have bombings within secured areas.
 
Right when Dick Cheney and John McCain were over there cheerleading...trying to draw attention to successes in Iraq....
 
From nytimes.com, March 18, 2008: BAGHDAD — A bombing on Monday evening killed 43 people near the Imam Hussein shrine in the Shiite holy city of Karbala, penetrating one of the most secure perimeters in Iraq. [..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/343cyo
 
Then on the same day:
 
Two US soldiers were killed Monday north of Baghdad when their vehicle hit a roadside bomb.
 
And another soldier died last Saturday from small arms fire during combat operations. 19 y/o kid.
 
I already wrote about the five US soldiers in Baghdad who were killed by a suicide bomber while they were on foot patrol. One week ago.
 
But Dick Cheney smiled pretty for the cameras and said the invasion of Iraq was a "successful endeavor...if you look back on those five years it has been a difficult, challenging but nonetheless successful endeavor ... and it has been well worth the effort."
 
http://tinyurl.com/yolmnk
 
Successful endeavor? ... well worth the effort? For whom? Cheney's corporate friends? Blackwater, etc.?
 
Cheney thinks this is progress:
 
From Reuters: "Five years after the United States led an invasion of Iraq, millions of people there are still deprived of clean water and medical care, the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC) said on Monday.
 
...Better security in some parts of Iraq must not distract attention from the continuing plight of millions of people who have essentially been left to their own devices," [..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/yoxy2j
 
Iraqis make $5 a day, and a third of their monthly budget goes just for water.
 
And those millions of people who have been left to their own devices are children and women...elderly and disabled people.
 
While the Iraqi government wallows in oil money, we the US taxpayers continue to pour billions into the reconstruction of Iraq. Iraqis have a budget surplus. We have a budget deficit. Now, tell me, who should be paying?
 
The Iraqis haven't used the gains in security to try to strengthen their government. All they can do is argue about how to spend money....which tribe should get what. And more violence by the day....
 
And yet, the White House and John McCain are selling the 'surge' as a victory.
 
Bush refuses to take any further responsibility for this mess...he's just waiting until he can hand it to the next president.
 
Meanwhile, Democrats are trying to find a spine...again. The Democratic Party candidates (Netroots Caucus) for the US Congress have put together a plan to end the war in Iraq. A plan they have pledged to campaign on and support once elected.
 
http://responsibleplan.com/
 
The plan is being endorsed by people who are for Obama and people who are for Clinton...and everyone in between who's in favor of stopping the war.
 
We're nearing 4,000 US dead, well over 50,000 US wounded, and what could be 1 million dead and wounded Iraqis.
 
The total cost of the war will be more than $3 Trillion taxpayer dollars. It could well be worse. This for a war we were assured wouldn't cost more than $100 Billion, tops, and most of that would come back to us through oil taken from Iraq.
 
It is time for this to end.
 
Ah well...what with our economy crashing, maybe it can't go on much longer anyway.
 

2008/3/16

Even more Spitzer jokes 3/16

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@ 07:23 PM (3 months, 24 days ago)

"More details are starting to come out about the $5,000 prostitute. Her name's Ashley Alexander Dupre. She's a 22-year-old aspiring musician. I believe she is classically trained on the flute." --Jay Leno

Read the rest of this entry ... (602 words left)

2008/3/15

Late-night jokes recap 3/15

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@ 07:35 AM (3 months, 25 days ago)

"Last night, what a horrible audience. It's not so much that they were horrible. They were just quiet. My God, it was like dinner at the Spitzers." --David Letterman
 
"I guess you heard the big news. Governor Eliot Spitzer, governor of New York, resigned. He left his resignation on the night table with a $300 tip." --David Letterman
 
"He waited about the resignation and finally he had to. He couldn't get a pardon from Oprah, so he's gone." --David Letterman
 
"Four out of five New Yorkers wanted him to go. Four out of five New Yorkers said, no, get him out of here. Myself and the writers, we, of course, wanted him to stay." --David Letterman
 
"Maybe you can tell a very somber mood here in New York City. Am I right about that? As a matter of fact, even the hookers in Times Square were wearing the black armbands." --David Letterman
 
"But here's the deal, now Spitzer will have to pay women to call him governor." --David Letterman
 
"Now, here's the deal about the tryst down there in a Washington, DC, hotel -- $5,000 and a hotel room. Five grand and a hotel room. And Senator Larry Craig -- you remember Larry from Idaho? He said, 'Well, that's crazy. For two quarters, I can have a pay toilet all night.'" --David Letterman
 
"The governor of New York, Eliot Spitzer, has resigned. In his resignation speech, Spitzer said, 'To whom much has been given, much is expected.' Which is the same thing he said to that $5,000 hooker." --Jay Leno
 
"It's interesting. Although Spitzer only spoke for 2 minutes and 40 seconds, he still had to pay for the entire hour." --Jay Leno
 
"It's interesting, now that he's not governor, how people treat you differently when you're no longer powerful. Like today, he went from Client #9 to Client #3,252." --Jay Leno
 
"The new governor of New York will be a man named David Paterson, who is legally blind. Yeah, he is. He is legally blind. The way it will work with him is, you see, he'll just have the woman talk dirty to him over the phone." --Jay Leno
 
"He will be the first visually impaired governor in the history of the United States. See, a lot of people thought Bill Clinton was the first blind governor, because he hit on Paula Jones." --Jay Leno
 
"Well, more and more details are coming out about this incident, which has fascinated people. It seems the governor was caught on a federal wiretap making arrangements to meet with this prostitute. See, that's why the Democrats are against Bush's eavesdropping policy. You see? Bush is not only catching terrorists, he's catching Democrats, too." --Jay Leno
 
"No, the FBI said they became suspicious after tracking what they call 'questionable transfers of money' from Spitzer's account. See, at first they thought he was hiding bribe money. And then they realized it's highly unlikely that the governor would be bribed by a woman named Cindy Candypants." --Jay Leno
 
"Congratulations to Barack Obama, he won again... beat Hillary in Mississippi, 60% of the vote. In fact, he won by such a wide margin, Hillary is now definitely gonna offer him the number two spot on the ticket." --Jay Leno
 
"And I thought this was rubbing it in. I guess Barack called Hillary last night to tell her that he won at 3 a.m. in the morning." --Jay Leno
 
"I saw 'Clueless' on TV last night. Geraldine Ferraro? Anybody see that? Well, Geraldine Ferraro was forced to leave the Clinton campaign after saying that the only reason Barack Obama is winning is because he's black, and you know, hey, there's some truth to that. The only way you're gonna get elected president of this country is you're a black guy. A rich old white guy? How many of those have we had?" --Jay Leno
 
"And Democratic officials in Florida and Michigan are talking about doing a re-vote. They want people to vote again in those primaries. In fact, Florida officials have been scrambling to re-program their voting machines, because most of them are still wired to pick George Bush." --Jay Leno
 
"Republican presidential candidate John McCain is in the news. John McCain says he's trying to find a vice presidential running mate. Not only that, McCain is also trying to find his reading glasses and his car keys. ... He's an older gentleman. That's the idea there. You'll be hearing more of those in the next nine months, because that's our take. Until he gets a whore." --Conan O'Brien
 
"Now they are saying Spitzer may have spent $80,000 on prostitutes over the last ten years. Is that a lot? I mean if you do the math, that's only $22 a day. I spend that on Direct TV." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"Spitzer held another press conference ...said he needed to leave to begin the difficult process of healing. Not emotionally -- his wife hit him in the face with a George Foreman Grill." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"Some of the more sordid details are starting to emerge, supposedly, Spitzer didn't like to wear a condom which I'm sure was just the cherry on top of his wife's cake." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"On Monday, the lieutenant governor will take over. His name is David Patterson. He's African-American and legally blind. He'll be the first blind governor in the United States. He's already announced that his top legislative priority will be the death penalty for people who don't clean up after their dogs." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
 
 
 
 
 

2008/3/14

War? Damn the war...don’t you know that Spitzer got laid?!

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@ 06:46 AM (3 months, 27 days ago)

The media has been so caught up in the Obama/Clinton horse race, and the politician/hooker scandal (like *that's* never happened before) and haven't been paying attention to the war....well, last fall they had a couple stories of how "the surge" had reduced violence and people were out buying ice cream again....
 
Things have changed, the war is heating up.
 
But hardly any mention of how a suicide bomber killed five US soldiers as they chatted with shop owners while on a foot patrol in Baghdad on March 10th. Not to mention the rise in car bomb violence, Iraqis and Afghanis dying every day. Google a bit and you'll find that growing violence in Iraq is eating up security gains.
 
Hardly any mention of how Admiral William Fallon, the top US commander in the Middle East, resigned his command on March 11th. He recently publicly criticized the Bush Administration’s Iran policy and was seen as the lone wolf standing in the way of Bush going to war with Iran.
 
Yet, to watch the news, the war seems to have disappeared.
 
But war still rages, we still occupy two countries, people still die, and $12 billion still drains out of our pockets every month to fund the whole thing.
 
It's sad and disturbing that hardly anybody is talking about it...at all. Check this out:
 
"Public Is Less Aware of Iraq Casualties, Study Finds"
 
From the washingtonpost.com, March 13, 2008:
"Twenty-eight percent of the public is aware that nearly 4,000 U.S. personnel have died in Iraq over the past five years, while nearly half thinks the death tally is 3,000 or fewer and 23 percent think it is higher, according to an opinion survey released yesterday.
 
The survey, by the Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, found that public awareness of developments in the Iraq war has dropped precipitously since last summer, as the news media have paid less attention to the conflict. In earlier surveys, about half of those asked about the death tally responded correctly.
 
Related Pew surveys have found that the number of news stories devoted to the war has sharply declined this year, along with professed public interest.
 
"Coverage of the war has been virtually absent," said Pew survey research director Scott Keeter, totaling about 1 percent of the news hole between Feb. 17 and 23.[..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/2w4qqt
 
Up until now, the media has done such a fine job covering Iraq have they not? NOT. The waste and corruption is staggering....barely mentioned.
 
I also found this little news tidbit -- the Pentagon authorized an all-out exhausting study of Iraq's Saddam-era documents...and get this, the report was finding NO relationship between his government and Al Qaeda.
 
http://tinyurl.com/296am6
 
Well, seems that didn't fit in with the Bush Administration's agenda, and they decided to just not allow the study to be released on-line (it was supposed to be released Mar. 12th).
 
So now, you have to actually write and ask for it and eventually they will send you a CD-ROM, and it probably won't arrive until late January 2009.
 
I'm sure this was all over the news today, but I've just been too busy to catch it. Right?
 

2008/3/13

More Eliot Spitzer jokes 3/13

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@ 06:39 AM (3 months, 28 days ago)
Gah, my traffic hits were over the moon yesterday...so here's the latest batch of Spitzer jokes.
 
"It's so sunny and bright outside that earlier today, Eliot Spitzer came out of a brothel squinting." --David Letterman
 
"Spitzer was told about the evidence against him on Friday. On Friday, last Friday. How about that? I'm thinking, 'Wow, somebody had a worse weekend than I did.'" --David Letterman
 
"He went through this call girl thing. ... He was known as a regular customer. He was known as Client 9. It looks now like Client 9 will soon be looking for wife number 2." --David Letterman
 
"You know, I'm a half-full kind of guy. I always try to put a positive spin on stuff. Sure, it's a horrible story. On the other hand, you look at it this way, he was supporting New York's number one industry." --David Letterman
 
"I don't know about you, but when I heard about this scandal here's the first thing I thought. I said, 'Woah, there's another success for eHarmony.com.'" --David Letterman
 
"They're talking about impeaching Eliot Spitzer if he doesn't step down. And I'm thinking, 'Whoa, a Democrat being impeached for extramarital sex. Happy days are here again.'" --David Letterman
 
"Here's one that is kind of cute. He would get the hookers, the call girls, the prostitutes, the whores, and he would run them down, put them on the train, Amtrak. Like they need more publicity. And he'd run them down to Washington, DC, and they'd check into a beautiful suite and have the rendezvous at a place called the Mayflower Hotel. Now that's the difference between a Democratic and a Republican sex scandal. The Republicans have their rendezvous at an airport men's room" --David Letterman
 
"Do you know what the highest paid government position in this country is? Anybody know? ... It is working under New York Governor Eliot Spitzer. It pays like $5,000 an hour." --Jay Leno
 
"As I'm sure you know by now, New York Governor Eliot Spitzer has admitted that he was involved in a prostitution ring. Now this is the same man who when he was attorney general went after the prostitution ring. So apparently, it was for not giving him good service." --Jay Leno
 
"This is the most embarrassing thing to happen to a governor, I guess, since Arnold Schwarzenegger did 'Kindergarten Cop.'" --Jay Leno
 
"The really ironic thing about this case -- today, the hooker said Spitzer was done in a New York minute." --Jay Leno
 
"Well, you know something, this shows you how the whole world is backwards. I mean, you got Democrats. Now, they're supposed to be poor, right? Don't Democrats traditionally represent the poor people? They're paying $5,000 an hour for sex. You got the Republicans. They're supposed to be rich, right? They're cruising airport bathrooms trying to get it for free. What's going on?" --Jay Leno
 
"Do you ever notice politics is the only profession when a guy gets caught with a hooker, the wife has to stand by his side. You know, if this guy was a plumber and he got caught with a prostitute, he'd have his wife's SUV tire tracks over his head." --Jay Leno
 
"The New York Times reported that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer was a customer of a high-end prostitution ring, that the prostitutes knew him as Client #9. Client #9, yeah. Not surprisingly, clients one through eight were Charlie Sheen." --Conan O'Brien
 
"It's getting serious, though. Republicans in New York have given Governor Spitzer an ultimatum. That if he doesn't resign, they'll push for impeachment. Governor Spitzer responded by saying, 'How about you just spank me, we'll call it even?'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"But a lot of rumors about what is going to happen. If Governor Spitzer does resign over his prostitution scandal, it's been reported that he will go into private practice as a lawyer. That's what he's going to do. Yeah. When asked why he wants to practice law again, Spitzer said, 'I like businesses where you charge by the hour and screw your clients.'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"It hasn't been a great week for Governor Eliot Spitzer. This is a guy who built a career crusading against corruption. He got caught on an FBI wiretap arranging for a $1,000-an-hour prostitute. Spitzer is named as 'Client #9.' Allegedly, Client #9 wired money to something called the Emperor's Club, which is an online service that provides high-end hookers to upscale gentlemen like my Uncle Frank. Client #9 deposited $4,300 into his account and then he had a two-hour interlude with a prostitute name 'Kristen.' Which I think means he has two thousand dollars of credit left over. That'll come in handy -- with all the stress, he's gonna need to blow off some steam." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"Spitzer held a press conference yesterday, where he apologized to his constituents and to his family. He didn't take questions. He went right home, where his wife repeatedly kicked him in the testicles." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"Actually, she stood right next to him in the press conference. That is always amazing to me, how these guys get their wives to stand there and support them. ... I don't know what kind of zombie chow they put in these women's food, but it's mind-boggling. ... I don't want to rub it in to any of you visiting from New York, but here in California, our governor doesn't have to pay for sex. When he wants it, he takes it." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"Governor Eliot Spitzer of New York has been linked to a prostitution ring. Wow. What a day for the media. Here they thought yesterday would just be another day spent feigning interest in the concerns of regional voters." --Jon Stewart
 
"The feds caught the governor when they became suspicious of some irregular money wire transfers that the governor had made. And then they tapped his phones and monitored his text messages. Basically they thought this was a bribery case and it wasn't. If only someone experienced in law enforcement could have given Eliot Spitzer better advice [on screen: Spitzer saying, 'Never talk when you can nod, never nod when you can wink and never write it in e-mail because it's death. You're giving prosecutors all the evidence we need']. In Spitzer's defense, he probably forgot he said that because it's hard to concentrate when you are getting a $2,000 [bleep]job." --Jon Stewart
 
"And so ensnared in a trap he so shrewdly told others how to avoid, it was time for Governor Spitzer to join the shame parade, to follow in the footsteps of the faithless -- New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey, Idaho Senator Larry Craig, Louisiana Senator David Vitter, President Clinton, even Gary Hart a quarter century ago -- all contrite, all following the simple rule of public humiliation, bring a date. [on screen: Spitzer appearing at his presser with wife Silda Wall Spitzer]" --Jon Stewart
 
"Guys pay women for sex? No! Okay, let me try and explain this. When a man loves a woman very much, they share a very special kind of transaction. Maybe I'm going too fast. Let me break this down. First off, cost. Spitzer paid $4300 for two hours with a hooker. I know that sounds pricey. I mean for that much money, you could buy a used Honda and [bleep] it. But the service the governor used was extra fancy. For God sake, it's called the Emperor's Club. You want discounts, go to Sam's Emperor Club. They sell in bulk. In one trip, you can get a 20 gallon pack of mayonnaise and a six pack of hookers." --Lewis Black
 
"Obviously the big story today is still Governor Eliot Spitzer's involvement with a prostitution ring. ... We're not going to be talking about it on this show. The man said he was sorry and I believe him. He is obviously sorry. ... I would like to thank the governor on behalf of husbands everywhere. It's not often that you walk in the door and say, 'Honey, I'm home and I didn't go to a prostitute,' and that gets you a hug.--Stephen Colbert
 
And in other news:
"Are you getting a little more excited about the presidential race now? ... Remember when it was 140 people running for president and you didn't know who they were? Now we're down to three. And the latest is Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain, they've all been arguing, claiming that they're the most qualified person to answer the White House phone at 3 a.m. Yeah, McCain said, 'I'm the most qualified, because I'm usually up at that hour peeing anyway.'" --Conan O'Brien
 
"In political news, Hillary Clinton has been hinting that she and Barack Obama might share the Democratic ticket with her in the number one position. She feels Barack Obama deserves some sort of consolation prize for getting the most votes and being the most popular." --Jay Leno
 
"Yesterday in Mississippi, Barack Obama told the crowd he is not interested in being Hillary Clinton's running mate, saying, he didn't know how he could be offered the lesser job if he's in first place. Come to think of it, I was wondering that myself." --Jay Leno
 
"Prescription medications have been discovered in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans. Or, as President Bush calls that, the Republican health care plan. You drink eight glasses of water a day, you get all your drugs. You see, again, I don't think President Bush understands this problem. Like today, he said, he read the report and was shocked to learn our tap water contains the chemical H2O." --Jay Leno
 

2008/3/12

Late-night jokes recap 3/12

Tags:
@ 06:56 AM (3 months, 29 days ago)


"I've been thinking about something, do you think it's too soon to be hitting on Mrs. Eliot Spitzer?" --David Letterman

Read the rest of this entry ... (767 words left)

2008/3/11

Another sex scandal!

Tags:
@ 08:55 AM (3 months, 29 days ago)

This time they caught a Democrat! And with a woman! An adult woman too!
 
Seriously, no matter the party, I like seeing ANY hypocrite get hoisted.
 
"NEW YORK (AP) — Gov. Elliot Spitzer's prostitution scandal came just over a year since he stormed into the governor's office, vowing to root out corruption.
 
...The first-term Democrat was caught on a federal wiretap arranging to meet a prostitute from a call-girl business...
 
...The governor has not been charged, and prosecutors would not comment on the case Monday. A spokesman for Spitzer said the governor has retained a large Manhattan law firm.
 
At a Manhattan news conference, a glassy-eyed Spitzer, his shellshocked wife Silda at his side, apologized to his family and the people of New York.[...]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/2u56mm
 
Well hell, Mr. Clean of all people. And doncha know that Fox News broke its neck digging out every video clip they could find of Spritzer and Hillary Clinton campaigning together....
 
Ah well, no one can claim that corruption or hypocrisy is the exclusive province of one party or the other.
 
It's always the ones who rail hardest against ethics violations that end up getting caught for ethics violations...and if he can be hypocritical about prostitution, he can be hypocritical about other things.
 
As they say--live by the sword, die by the sword. Prostitution is not legal in DC or NY. Against the law. In the normal course of things, big deal, men pay for hookers all over the world, but here in super-puritanical America it can set you up for blackmail, big time.
 
And when you set yourself up as the Chief Moral Officer, as the second-coming of prosecutor Elliot Ness...and you go around busting up prostitution rings, sending people to jail...and probably getting elected governor because of it...
 
I'd put his survival odds at nil, nada. But wait...isn't David Vitter (who admitted only to sinning with hookers) still a senator...isn't restroom toe-tapper Sen. Larry Craig still in the senate?
 
Some people say it's a victimless crime. Maybe so, IF it's an average Joe on the street who got caught engaging in this behavior. BUT, it's a different story when it's an elected official, a Governor and former Attorney General no less, someone who has a security clearance, who has access to classified material, who can have people investigated and indicted, who controls public money. ALL of that makes him vulnerable to blackmail.
 
Think how The Mob could play hell with this if the FBI hadn't found it first.
 
But then, people can be blackmailed because they are having an affair, even if the affair itself doesn't break any laws.
 
Anyway, Spitzer shouldn't be given any different treatment than we've given Vitter or Larry Craig or any of the others who have been caught in sex scandals. But please, if your judgement is that crappy, get a job in the private sector and have a ball.
 
I guess the focus is not so much on prostitution, but on how he paid for it... whether the payments were made in a way "to conceal their purpose and source." That's a crime called "Structuring"...money laundering in plain talk,  and carries a penalty of up to five years in prison.
 
If it's all just hookers, then it will be a quick death. But the FBI were originally investigating financial irregularities, so who knows what's on down the road.
 
Maybe the real story here is that the FBI, with its unmonitored wiretapping and surveillance programs, is reading EVERYONE'S e-mail....
 

2008/3/10

Righties I want to hit with a pie

Tags:
@ 09:42 AM (4 months, 21 hours ago)
 
When Democrats appear on FOX News you can see how propaganda is stacked against them.
 
Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz of Florida appeared on Fox News Sunday yesterday and right away Brit Hume started doggin' her...firing questions and not waiting for answers.
 
See, Brit desperately wants to blame the Florida delegates trouble as the fault of Florida Democrats, DESPITE the fact that it was really pushed by the Republican-led majority of the Florida State Legislature.
 
So Hume tries to paint Wasserman-Schultz into a corner but she rears up and insists that he allow her to answer one question before he butts in and asks another.
 
Murdock's sock puppet actually let her finish her answer...he was probably in shock that this week’s punching-bag stood firm. I guess Brit thought she would be some weak sister that he could just roll over with his scripted propaganda.
 
I want to hit Brit with a pie so badly, can't stand to look at his poison-toad face, can't stand his sneer and eye rolls aimed at Juan Williams...but I did enjoy his little sneer after Wasserman Schultz basically told him to chill.
 
And she was right about who was to blame for the early voting and the difficult choice state Republicans made for Democrats.
 
She explained, among other things, that the decision to move the Florida election was one the Democrats agreed with because they were actually voting to create a paper trail in Florida. It's the best answer I've heard yet regarding what took place there.
 
And boo hoo...Tucker Carlson's show is getting the axe. But he stays on as a political contributor to all MSNBC shows at least through the 2008 election. Another smarmy smug-face I'd like to hit with a pie.
 
When is MSNBC going to realize that instead of copying Fox News, they can be different but also successful.?
 
And how 'bout that Oxycontin-clown Limbaugh getting in trouble with the ladies of "The View"?...even conservative Elizabeth Hasselbeck.
 
http://tinyurl.com/ypy53k
 
He was talking about a split ticket and said: "Let's say it is Obama and Hillary…Let's put Hillary at the top...that's a position she's familiar with...therefore, you've got a woman and a black for the first time ever on the Democrat ticket. Ahem. They don't have a prayer."
 
Whoopi Goldberg asked, "Now, isn't this still America? Isn't this the place where we say anybody could be president if you are a United States citizen? Should we say they don't have a prayer quite yet?"
 
Barbara Walters said that "a lot of conservatives love him."
 
Hasselbeck said "I don't, I'm a conservative and I don't love him."
 
Joy Behar then mentioned Limbaugh's history of prescription drug abuse, asked if Oxycontin was a "downer drug."
 
Hasselbeck, agitated, continued to pile on Limbaugh, "I think that's giving him an out. I don't think it's about the drugs. I don't think it's about his past. It's about his intention and his heart and I think it's cruel."
 
I watched all that with my pie arm itching, and commiserated with some of it, even though I have said myself that a black and/or a woman are going to have a hard time being elected in today's racist and sexist America.
 
But what I couldn't understand was why nobody mentioned the fact that Rush gets away with references to Hillary's sex life--"Let's put Hillary at the top, that's a position she's familiar with...."
 
That is sexism to the nth degree and all those View ladies just let it slide.
 
Imagine what would happen if Rush made comments about Obama's or McCain's sexual positions.
 

2008/3/9

Don't it make your red district blue....

Tags:
@ 11:34 AM (4 months, 1 day ago)

You know, winning "Dennis Hastert's seat" sounds kinda icky to me...but the Democrats have done it! Yep, Democrats turned a red seat blue...coat tails are flappin' in the breeze and a mile long....
 
From chicagotribune.com:
"In a stunning upset Saturday that could be a harbinger of trouble for the GOP this fall, a little-known Democratic physicist won the special election for a seat drawn to re-elect former Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert.
 
Bill Foster defeated Republican Jim Oberweis, who lost his fourth high-profile election in six years, following an expensive and highly negative contest.[..]"
 
http://tinyurl.com/36dguj
 
A real scientist too!
 
The 14th Congressional District...Dixon, Illinois is a town in this district.
 
Ahem...isn't this also the birth place of one Ronald Wilson Reagan?
 
This win means Foster will serve out the rest of Hastert's term, which will give him an advantage as he faces a rematch with Oberweis in the November general election for a full two years.
 
Poor Oberweis seems to be the best they can offer...a guy who has now spent nearly $9 million of his own money on six elections the last six years and *still* does not hold elected office.
 
Obama deserves major credit for Foster's win, he did an endorsement commercial that ran the last three days, and supplied his website and campaign staff to help Foster out.
 
Superdelegates will look hard at this as they ponder electability.
 
And mark up one more superdelegate for Obama....
 
This win is huge because this is a deeply Republican district that hasn't been represented by a Democrat since 1974...right after Watergate.
 
Hastert's seat was especially vulnerable because he was behind the Mark Foley scandal (knowingly harboring a pedophile in Congress) and because he was a Bush rubber stamp. Yes, I know he wasn't running again, but this is the kind of betrayal of trust and ethics that will create backlash galore for the Republicans.
 
The GOP spent 20 percent of their resources trying to keep Hastert's seat--$1.2 million, almost a third of the NRCC's cash on hand--and they lost it.
 
Rightie blogs are kinda quiet about Foster's win...and FOX "News" doesn't want to discuss it either.
 
Republicans deserve to lose this seat and every seat to come for ravaging this country with hate and useless wars, etc., etc., etc.
 
So many of us are counting on this being the year that Democrats win the White House, and get wide enough majorities in the House and Senate to actually get stuff done.
 
Yet, November is still a long way off, and we Democrats have time to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
 
A hard rain's gonna fall on that Michigan/Florida/superdelegates fiasco.
 

2008/3/8

Clinton, Obama and McCain, their taste in music

Tags:
@ 06:51 AM (4 months, 2 days ago)

From nymagazine.com:

Clinton: Adheres to the Billboard Charts:
Clinton's music tastes are a bit more pop. Among her favorites: the Rolling Stones, Aretha Franklin, U2, and Carly Simon (a recent CD purchase was Simon's Into White). When she revealed the contents of her iPod to the New York Post in May 2006, it seemed to have been programmed by ClearChannel: "Respect" by Aretha Franklin, "Hey Jude" by the Beatles, "Take it to the Limit" by the Eagles, and "Beautiful Day" by U2 all appeared on her playlist. The whole Clinton family tickles the ivories, although Hillary admits that "none of us is what you'd call good." Clinton's official campaign song, selected by the people of the Internet, was originally Celine Dion's "You and I." The song was dropped in December 2007 and replaced with Big Head Todd and the Monsters' "Blue Sky," which was deemed less boring and not so darn Canadian.

Obama: Jazz and Javanese Flute:
Obama says he has "eclectic taste" in music, but his high-school discovery of jazz remains most significant. He told New York radio station Hot 97 in June 2007, "I'm old school, so generally, I'm more of a jazz guy, a Miles Davis, a John Coltrane guy, more of a Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder kind of guy. But having said that, I'm current enough that on my iPod I've got a little bit of Jay-Z. I've got a little Beyoncé." According to his Facebook profile, Obama also listens to Bob Dylan, Johann Sebastian Bach (cello suites), and the Fugees. A recent CD purchase was the Ray soundtrack. On his iPod, you’ll find tracks from Yo-Yo Ma, Frank Sinatra, and blues legend Howlin’ Wolf as well as some toe-tapping "Javanese flute music."

McCain: Campaigning to the Oldies:
Coming of age in the fifties, John still favors musicians from that era, including Elvis, the Beatles, and Frank Sinatra. One of John’s favorite movies is American Graffiti, and he loves the soundtrack, which features Bill Haley, Frankie Lymon, and Buddy Holly, among others. John’s daughter Meghan says her dad likes Lauryn Hill, and the senator himself threatens to play Abba in all the White House elevators if elected

 

2008/3/7

Hillary channels Karl Rove

Tags:
@ 08:40 AM (4 months, 3 days ago)
 
In a live CNN interview Hillary Clinton said:
 
"I think that I have a lifetime of experience that I will bring to the White House. I know Senator McCain has a lifetime of experience that he will bring to the White House. And Senator Obama has a speech he gave in 2002."
 
Oh no you did-unt girlfrien....
 
Why why why give the Republicans all that ammo!
 
This just isn't done...you never, ever compare a primary opponent unfavorably to the other party's nominee.
 
Why why why couldn't you have just said, "Senator Obama's policy plans are certainly a step in the right direction. My policies are a giant stride in the right direction, which is why you should vote for me. The only wrong choice is to vote Republican."
 
If Hillary loses the nomination, she's made it harder for Obama to win. That means all those Democrats on the ballot are going to have a harder time winning. We might not gain more Senators to a comfortable working majority. We might not gain more members in the House. We will have a harder time electing purple state Governors. See how all that trickles down to the grassroots?
 
Also, the McCain remark is a strategic blunder for Hillary if she *does* win the nomination. By saying that McCain is commander-in-chief material she reduces options for attacking him on foreign policy. And just imagine a nice RNC commercial with footage of Hillary praising McCain.
 
Hillary started these attacks, and even though she gained some wins with the 3am red phone call ad, and pointing out the NAFTA lie/mistake, she may be creating a box she can't punch out of come November.
 
Of course Obama fights back with his own attacks---providing Republicans with ammunition by circulating "Harry and Louise" style flyers attacking Hillary's healthcare plan. And "why won't you show us your tax records Hillary?"
 
Bingo! Instant TV material for McCain this fall...he has all he needs to start attacking either candidate in the general election. Not to mention the mud that swiftboaters will conjure up.
 
Oh dear...this primary season has gone on way, way too long.
 
Both Obama and Clinton should knock it off.
 
If McCain does not spend the entire election defending his stance on Bush's Iraq and Bush's economy, then we were just not effin' trying....
 
BTW--I'd nominate McCain as the scariest 3am red phone call guy. Not because he's too "inexperienced"...but worse. McCain looks to be a nice guy, but is also the most likely to *bring about* that 3am-phone-call.
 
But, you know... all this talk about this or that attack ad probably won't amount to a hill of beans by November.
 
There are so many things that can happen, just one of which could totally throw a monkey wrench into the works. Such as:
 
Cheney attacks Iran
 
All out war in Gaza
 
War breaks out between Venezuela and Colombia
 
The rapture
 

2008/3/6

Late-night jokes recap 3/6

Tags:
@ 06:58 AM (4 months, 4 days ago)
Note: Some of the late night shows have been in reruns.
 
Jon Stewart to Hillary Clinton: "This election is about judgment. Tomorrow is perhaps one of the most important days of your life, and yet you have chosen to spend the night before talking to me. Senator, as a host I'm delighted. As a citizen, frightened."
Hillary Clinton, in response: "It is pretty pathetic"
 
"Senator Obama's message? 'If we do well in Texas and Ohio, I think the math is such where it will be hard for her to win the nomination. The press has sort of bought into this I think because they want to keep the contest interesting. She has got a little desperate towards the end of this campaign'. Huh. Obama might be a good candidate, but it seems like he'd be kind of a dicky boyfriend." --Jon Stewart
 
"Let's face it, nation. Barack Obama just does not have the experience necessary. Ask yourself this. When that phone in the White House at 3 a.m., do we really want that call not to be an attack from the press? Hillary's already ready for that call on day one." --Stephen Colbert
 
"Leap Day, it comes every four years. But it really doesn't mean anything. It's like a Ralph Nader running for president, it doesn't mean anything." --David Letterman
 
"I think the world of John McCain. He looks like the kind of guy who still talks real loud on a long-distance phone call? 'What time is it where you are? What? Can you hear me?' ... He looks like the guy you are waiting for to stop gabbing with the teller.... He looks like the relative who you get blank e-mails from. ... He looks like a freelance crosswalk guard." --David Letterman
 
"In his press conference, President Bush announced America is not headed into a recession, especially if you own an oil company." --Jay Leno
 
"High gas prices leave a bad taste in people's mouths, have you noticed that? That's mostly from the siphoning, but still it's a horror. ... In fact, gas is so expensive in L.A., now when you call 9-1-1, they ask you to meet the ambulance half way." --Jay Leno
 
"Just 48 hours after Homeland Security officials told Congress a 28-milelong virtual fence along the U.S./Mexican border was working, they now say it will be delayed three years because they can't get the video surveillance to work. Can't get it to work. Isn't that amazing? Do you realize, Homeland Security has less video surveillance than the New England Patriots." --Jay Leno
 
"I don't want to say McCain is old, but yesterday he got on the wrong bus, and ended up taking a gambling junket to Atlantic City." --Jay Leno
 
"Everyone is so concerned now where all of the candidates are born. McCain was born on a military base in Panama. Hillary was born outside Chicago, and if you believe the media, Barack Obama was born in a manger." --Jay Leno
 
"And Senator Larry Craig, America's favorite restroom enthusiast, announced he's actually looking for interns who want to work in his office. Here's the creepy part. His advice to anyone who wants to be his intern, 'Think inside the bun.'" --Jay Leno
 
"I am sick of Republican rule. I am, because first it was Senator Larry Craig and now the economy is in the toilet." --Bill Maher
 
"The other day President Charles in Charge has a press conference about the economy. He refused to say the word 'recession.' He says the word 'slow-down.' It's a 'slow-down.' This is because every time he has a meeting about the economy, he says to his advisors 'whoa whoa, slow down.'" --Bill Maher
 
"He says things will improve once those $300 rebate checks start arriving in the mailbox. So, be sure to check that mailbox in the house you used to live in before the sheriff came and took it away." --Bill Maher
 
"At the press conference, they asked him about the fact gas is approaching $4. You know what Bush said? He said, 'That's interesting. I hadn't heard that.' See, Bush thinks a news conference is where reporters give him the news" --Bill Maher
 
"John McCain apologized Tuesday after radio talk show host Bill Cunningham, who introduced McCain at a rally, repeatedly emphasized Barack's Obama's middle name, 'Hussein,' without once mentioning McCain's middle name, 'Methuselah.'" --Seth Meyers
 
"President Bush said that the country is not heading for a recession and that the economy is actually robust. He added, 'Case in point, I'm rich!'" --Amy Poehler
 
"I like Ralph Nader, he looks like the doctor you go to have the bullet removed. ... Ralph Nader looks like an accountant for a small town circus." --David Letterman
 
"John McCain, on the other hand, he looks like the guy who has to be told to close his robe. ... John McCain looks like the kind of guy who uses the word 'my' a lot, you know, well, I get up and I have my coffee. Then I read my paper. Then I have my oatmeal. And then I take my nap." --David Letterman
 
"Hey, here's some news, ladies and gentlemen. Remember Senator Larry Craig from Idaho? Well, remember he got himself in some trouble up there in the Minneapolis airport. It was a fun kind of trouble. But he now is looking for summer interns, Larry Craig. And I said whoa, cut me a slice of that. And everybody is very excited about Larry Craig's summer intern program. And if you are selected, now you have to be prepared to report early to learn Larry's foot tapping code" --David Letterman
 
"Senator Larry Craig, you know who he is, America's favorite restroom enthusiast -- he is now seeking interns for the summer term. He's taking applications for interns to work. In fact, the first question he asks you, 'You're not a cop, are you?'" --Jay Leno
 
"Here's a story that was leaked to the press. You know, Prince Harry, God bless him, serving his country. He's in Afghanistan on the front lines and he's been there before. Of course, it's been a huge secret. But he's been serving on the front lines in Afghanistan. Of course, President Bush was stunned when he heard this, and he said, 'His dad couldn't get him out of it?'" --Jay Leno
 
"During his press conference, President Bush said the following. He said it's important we make the economy stronger so -- quote -- 'families can put money on their table.' Yes, then Bush said that Americans should deposit food in their bank accounts. It was a good speech. I liked it. It's hard to top what he actually said." --Conan O'Brien
 
"How about that John McCain, huh? John McCain looks like the kind of guy who brags that his new denture adhesive allows him to eat corn on the cob. He looks like a guy who parks his RV overnight at Wal-Mart. He looks like a guy at a restaurant that says I'm leaving 10%, that's good enough. John McCain, looks like the guy who goes to the curb for the paper and locks himself outside of the house." --David Letterman
 
"Have you seen Ralph Nader? He looks like a guy that says we have proof we never went to the moon. Ralph looks like a shady horse track doctor." --David Letterman
 
"John McCain, on the other hand. He looks like the guy that walks up to the mound to settle down a young pitcher. John McCain looks like the guy who picks up his TV remote when the phone rings. He looks like the guy who can't find his table after he goes to the salad bar." --David Letterman
 
"Ladies and gentlemen, here is great news. Senator Larry Craig from Idaho ... is looking for interns. What parent doesn't want to hear, 'Well guess what, Dad, I got accepted into Larry Craig's intern program'? But if you're interested, Larry Craig is now accepting applications from interns. Just slide your resume under the stall." --David Letterman
 
"And my favorite candidate, Ralph Nader, announced he's running for president! Oh, I love Ralph. You know, you can't get rid of him. Every election year he pops up. He's like the herpes of presidential candidates." --Jay Leno
 
"Florida officials are still in a panic over the big power outage. You hear about that? A huge power outage. They were on the phone the next day with President Bush saying, 'We know it wasn't supposed to happen until Election Day. We don't what happened. It was premature.'" --Jay Leno
 
"Here's a story that is hard to believe. This is absolutely true. This is from the 'have you no shame?' department. You all know Senator Larry Craig, America's favorite restroom enthusiast, we call him. He announced he is taking applications for summer interns to work in his office. ... Isn't that unbelievable? Would you want that on your resume? 'I served under Larry Craig.' All interviews will be conducted in stall number three, I believe. You just wait and he'll push some papers under the door." --Jay Leno
 
"No, he says he wants interns to work in his office that have a solid work ethic, a knowledge of politics, and look good dressed as a construction worker." --Jay Leno
 
"During the debate, Barack Obama mispronounced the word 'Massachusetts' twice and then mispronounced the word 'filibuster.' Yeah, which explains why this morning, Obama was endorsed by President Bush." --Conan O'Brien
 
"I think Obama proved once and for all that he really does have what it takes to be president of these United States [on screen: Obama mispronouncing 'Massachusetts' twice]. See, he mispronounces things just like the real president does [on screen: Pres. Bush mispronouncing 'peninsula']." --Jimmy Kimmel
 
"On the other side of the political fence, Senator Larry Craig of Idaho is in the news again. Not only has he not stepped down from his Senate seat after he plead guilty to disorderly conduct for playing footsie with an undercover police officer in an airport restroom, but he's actually now looking for summer interns. He's looking for juniors and seniors in college from Idaho, have an interest in politics, and know how to keep their mouth shut. ... If you're interested, slip your resume under the third stall from the left in the men's room" --Jimmy Kimmel
 

2008/3/5

Call her the Comeback Queen

Tags:
@ 08:11 AM (4 months, 5 days ago)

See what can happen Hillary, when you run on your own and leave Bill off the stage...
 
"Clinton Counterpunches With Wins in Texas and Ohio"
 
From yahoo news: Hillary Clinton climbed back into the Democratic presidential primary race Tuesday by winning the popular votes in Texas and Ohio -- victories that halted Barack Obama's previous string of 11 wins in smaller contests and set the stage for a bruising final act in the party's nominating process.
 
"For everyone here in Ohio and across America who has been counted out but refused to be knocked out; for everyone who has stumbled but stood right back up; and for everyone who works hard and never gives up, this one is for you," Clinton told the crowd at her victory rally in Columbus long before the Texas outcome was clear. "We're going on, we're going strong and we're going all the way."
 
...Clinton has won six of the seven most delegate-rich states that have voted: California, Texas, Ohio, Massachusetts, New Jersey and her home state of New York. Of the top seven, Obama has won only his home state of Illinois.
 
..."No matter what happens tonight we have nearly the same delegate lead as we did this morning and we are on our way to winning this nomination," Obama told supporters in San Antonio.
 
Obama's camp has argued that Clinton cannot close the gap between the candidates in pledged delegates, who are chosen on a state-by-state basis through primaries, caucuses, party conventions -- typically in complex processes that award them based on proportion of popular votes and other factors.
 
The balance of power is in the hands of the superdelegates....[..]"
 
http://news.yahoo.com/s/cq/20080305/pl_cq_politics/politics2681265_1
 
Ha ha, and you thought the endless nightmare battle between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama was finally coming to a close.
 
The wind was at Obama's back and the press was at his feet...but he still couldn't close the deal.
 
Toldja she was a fighter...and given the horrific shape this country's going to be in for the next 4-8 years, we definetly need a tenacious fighter.
 
And Hillary was masterful in embarrassing the media into finally getting over their obsession to see her lose long enough to give Obama more scrutiny.
 
In there any way the party can now deny the electability issues?
 
If the Democratic race continues to be contested until the convention in late August, that's nearly another six months of Obama and Hillary spending hundreds of millions of dollars picking on one another that should better be used against McCain. The more they pick each other apart the more ammo they give McCain.
 
I hate it, but what are we to do? Both camps fiercely believe in their candidate.
 
Then there's "Hillary Math"...which says no matter how many more races she wins she still can't get enough delegates to win. After all, last night she picked up only 20...23?
 
And it looks like Hillary is going to fight for those "illegal" delegates from Florida and Michigan. DNC Chairman Howard Dean says no way, rules are rules.
 
Are we going to have another tussle about a candidate losing even though they won by popular vote?
 
It might come down to the DNC trying to negotiate a joint ticket, and I don't think Clinton will concede to the VP slot. Obama, on the other hand, should feel honored to be her VP. He needs to learn from her.
 
Also I would like to point out: In Ohio TOTAL Republican turnout was 1,004,391. Hillary's vote total alone was 1,203,924...without a single Obama vote she would still blow them away. Not that we don't want Obama voters....we do, this just shows how strong she is in such a swing state.
 
I love Obama's speeches and his message, but one thing is for sure--this last week was his toughest challenge as a candidate yet, and he stumbled. If Hillary can knock him off kilter without getting all that nasty, what will the Republicans do to him come November? If he can't deflect it now....
 
Barack Obama probably lost Texas and Ohio because of the controversy over his NAFTA remarks and his denial of a campaign advisor's meeting with the Canadian counsel general in Chicago. I like Obama and will take him at his word that he didn't know about the meeting. But that raises other questions about shouldn't his left hand know what his right hand is doing? Do we want a White House run like that?
 
Meanwhile, GOP nominee McCain will be at the White House today to officially become Bush's heir apparent. Blow this picture up and paste it everywhere.
 
http://tinyurl.com/ytz4x3
 
Hillary Clinton. The first woman who ever had a chance to change the country and the world in one fell swoop. A woman with strength and wisdom, which comes through alliances gotten through years of hard work. A woman with a lifetime of experience applying for The Job.
 
A woman who is a fighter, but not just to win. To lead. To repair and heal our country. A woman at the helm. It can happen. Believe.
 

2008/3/4

Clinton, Obama and McCain = Their first job

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@ 06:21 AM (4 months, 6 days ago)

I found this in nymagazine.com:

Read the rest of this entry ... (299 words left)

2008/3/3

Here's "Jack and Hill"

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@ 08:58 AM (4 months, 7 days ago)
 
"You can't handle the truth!"
 
Jack Nicholson, a man who knows the virtue of a powerful woman, released a web video supporting Hillary Clinton last weekend.
 
Using clips from his famous roles as Joker in "Batman," "Easy Rider," and "A Few Good Men," among others -- Nicholson tells voters what he’s looking for and why Hillary is his choice:
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsweXFpfa28
 
Wait a minute...does Hillary actually know what Army guys mean when they talk about "saluting a woman in the morning"?
 
I thought it was a great ad...fun...something that's been sorely lacking in her campaign.
 
And she's still getting SNL mileage, watch before NBC jerks it off line:
 
http://tinyurl.com/3boka3
 
BTW--I am well aware that referring to Sen. Clinton by her first name takes away from her seriousness as a candidate for the office of president...but I just can't help myself.
 
The last American to successfully get away with this kind of familiarity was Ike, who endeared himself to Americans by serving so well as a General in WWII. Also, the Brits called Prime Minister Thatcher, "Maggie."
 
Anyway, Hillary may not win...but nobody can say she didn't go down swinging.