Even more Spitzer jokes 3/16
"More details are starting to come out about the $5,000 prostitute. Her name's Ashley Alexander Dupre. She's a 22-year-old aspiring musician. I believe she is classically trained on the flute." --Jay Leno
"So, you have this triangle, the governor, his wife and this hooker. Or, as they're calling themselves, You, Me and Dupre." --Jay Leno
"The name of this prostitute service is The Emperor's Club, sounds better than Whore House, doesn't it? ... On the website, they rank the girls from one to seven diamonds. The diamonds represent how many you have to buy for your wife after you get caught." --Jay Leno
"You know how the governor got caught? Through wiretaps. You see, Democrats get caught in sex scandals through wiretapping. Republicans get caught in sex scandals through foot tapping." --Jay Leno
"Well, they said Eliot Spitzer may have spent as much as $80,000 on prostitutes. $80,000, wait a minute, think about it, with the stock market going down, real estate markets crashing, he got a better return than most guys on his money, didn't he? Who's getting that kind of bang for their buck?" --Jay Leno
"It's sad, Spitzer said there's so much left undone -- Amber, Ashley, Rhonda." --David Letterman
"Spitzer's going be out of office, he's going to be looking for a job, and I'm thinking, 'Whoa, isn't that what got him in trouble in the first place?'" --David Letterman
"What the Spitzers are saying now is they need some time alone. Eliot and his wife need some time alone now. And I thought this was very nice, Senatou Larry Craig from Idaho, when he heard this, he offered his vacation restroom on the lake." --David Letterman
"Don't kid yourself, ladies and gentlemen, this is serious. We're having a lot fun here now, but it's really serious. Eliot Spitzer could go to jail, he could go to prison, think about that. The former governor of New York could go to prison, he could be in prison. And, well, that'll be sex he won't have to pay for." --David Letterman
"The big news that we need to discuss, the identity of Governor Eliot Spitzer's prostitute ... has been revealed. The prostitute that Eliot Spitzer had his affair with is apparently a young woman from New Jersey. When asked why she slept with New York's ex-governor, she said, 'Because New Jersey's ex-governor is into guys.'" --Conan O'Brien
"It turns out the call girl linked to Eliot Spitzer is also, this is true, an R B singer, and she said in an interview that her latest song was inspired by a guy. Yeah. She didn't say which guy, but the song is called, 'Bald Creepy Governor.' It's a good song." --Conan O'Brien
"She did an interview, in an interview the call girl linked to Spitzer said that she doesn't want to be thought of as a monster. Does not want to be thought of as a monster, she said unless of course somebody has $4,000 and is into role playing." --Conan O'Brien
"The New York Times was able to find Kristen, the 22-year-old prostitute who Spitzer allegedly paid $1,000 an hour. Her real name is Ashley Dupre. ... Her MySpace page says her first love is music, she wants to be a singer, and then her second love is having sex with governors for money." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Here's what's going to happen with her. She's going to pose naked for Playboy, she'll do a season of 'Celebrity Apprentice,' maybe a 'Surreal Life,' then she'll top it off by having a baby with Pauly Shore." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Eliot Spitzer is set to leave office on Monday, which means hooker party at the Governor's Mansion this weekend." --Jimmy Kimmel
"Lieutenant Governor David Paterson will be sworn in as his replacement. .Paterson says his top priority is fiscal responsibility. He wants to cut back on government spending. Especially on whores." --Jimmy Kimmel
