Sooner Be Blue

 

New Rule: Now that gas costs the same four bucks at every gas station, you can drop the nine-tenths-of-a-cent bullshit.

 

New Rule: Airlines should just get it over with and start putting passengers in the cargo hold. Let's face it. You've already taken away the leg room, the food, the pillows. The only thing left is to tag us, load us onto the conveyor belt - and let us fight over who gets to sleep on the bag of mail.

 

New Rule: Stop putting psychedelic screen savers on computers. You know, I sat down to check my email the other day, next thing I know, it's three days later, I'm in the desert--I'm banging on a drum, I'm naked, and somebody has pierced my dick.

 

New Rule: We don't need a picture book about plastic surgery. My Beautiful Mommy is the new book written to prepare kids for that magical day when Mommy comes home from the doctor and they don't recognize her. Which is when Mommy should explain to the kids that after giving birth to them and nursing them, her Mommy parts needed a little sprucing up. And, since it's their fault, it's coming out of their college fund.

 

And, by the way, this book has already spawned sequels: Why Is Mommy Never Home Anymore? and Why Is Daddy Crying?

 

New Rule: If you get to bring your baby to work, I get to bring a Mexican mariachi band. The only difference, for twenty bucks, I can get the mariachi band to go away and annoy somebody else.

 

New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina has a sign out front that says, "Obama, Osama, hmmm, Are they brothers?" No, in fact, they're not even related, which is more than I can say for the married couples in your church.

 

New Rule: Liberals only get one bumper sticker per vehicle. Some days, I feel like I'm stuck in traffic behind the Huffington Post. Here's what I've learned while driving behind you: you are very concerned about global warming, and you're burning oil. Ironically.

 

And, finally, New Rule: I'm going on hiatus now. But, if John McCain can stay in Iraq for a hundred years, Hillary Clinton can stay in this election until I get back. Now, I know many of you are saying, "But, Bill, with you on hiatus, what will I do? Where will I get my news? Who will I petition to get thrown off the air?" Well, I'm sorry, but nothing stands between me and what I do during my break to give back: mentoring promiscuous runaways--for my charity, Hot Tubs Without Borders.

 

But, back to Hillary. Now, of course, there's the oft-heard refrain that she's behind in states, behind in the popular vote, and behind in the delegate count. But, I don't buy that, because I'm an American, damn it! And if there are three things I don't believe in, it's quitting and math.

 

And let us not forget as we say our adieu for this season, that there is a clear path to the nomination for Hillary. She just needs to raise a lot of money; she needs to woo a key group of super delegates and she needs Reverend Jeremiah Wright to rape a white woman.

 

Who knew? Domestic diva Rachael Ray is a Dunkin' Donuts Jihadist Tool!

 

From Boston Globe: "Dunkin' Donuts has abruptly canceled an advertisement in which domestic diva Rachael Ray wears a black-and-white scarf after conservative pundit Michelle Malkin claimed that it looks like a keffiyeh, a traditional headdress worn by Arab men.

 

....Said the suits in a statement: ‘‘In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by her stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial.’’[..]

 

 

I don't know who looks worse in this. Wingbats for overreaching and looking ridiculous or Dunkin' Donuts for being spineless and doughy.

 

Okay, any of you right wing loons who have EVER complained about "da librul PC police" can just go look in a mirror right now.

 

You know...if you get far enough away from Rachael's scarf and squint real hard, it could look vaguely like the kind of thing that Yasser Arafat used to wear...except it's not checkered or worn on the head,  it's a paisley design, made of silk, has a lot of fringe and is worn to keep the neck warm.

 

So now Dunkin' Donuts is a sponsor of terrrrrsism because Rachael Ray was wearing a scarf AROUND HER NECK?

 

When all I can see are the eyes, then the loons can start whining, but wearing something like that around your neck?

 

Does that mean I can't use my checkerboard dish towels because Arafat used to wear something like them on his head?

 

Hey, what about my caftan, a style that originated in the Middle East? Pity the poor grandmas in Florida who wear them at poolside...they’ll be surprised to learn they’re considered terrorist sympathizers for having opted for comfort.

 

And what about the fez, that funny little hat which symbolizes Islamic identity? Would that make The Shriners terrorist sympathizers for wearing them?

 

The fear in some right-wingers is pure entertainment. All they can think of is a terrorist sympathizer when someone wears a simple scarf. It reveals their ignorance as much as their rabid prejudice that lumps all things Middle Eastern in with terrorists.

 

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups...or even small groups.

 

I have to get that scarf, just to annoy these people.

 

And I will NOT go to Dunkin' Donuts again, as long as they are dictated to by such xenophobic troglodytes.

 

 

During a fund-raiser in Denver, Obama was asked what he hoped to accomplish during his first 100 days in office.

 

"Obama said one of the first things he plans to do in office is to ensure the constitutionality of all the laws and executive orders passed while Republican President Bush has been in office, Reuters reported.

 

Those that don't pass muster will be overturned, he said.

 

“I would call my attorney general in and review every single executive order issued by George Bush and overturn those laws or executive decisions that I feel violate the Constitution,” ..."

 

 

If he didn't already have my vote, this would be a decider for me.

 

If only he had added, "...and then I'd tell my AG to enforce every subpoena that Bush administration officials are currently in contempt of." (But he would use better sentence structure.)

 

Here is a list of all of Bush’s Executive Orders. Some really aren’t so bad...designating striped bass and red drum fish as endangered species seems okay.

 

 

How 'bout that? Flop Sweat Scotty finally tells us Moonbat Lefties we were right about most everything.

 

"Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan writes in a surprisingly scathing memoir to be published next week that President Bush “veered terribly off course,” was not “open and forthright on Iraq,” and took a “permanent campaign approach” to governing at the expense of candor and competence.

 

...• McClellan charges that Bush relied on “propaganda” to sell the war.

 

...• The longtime Bush loyalist also suggests that two top aides held a secret West Wing meeting to get their story straight about the CIA leak case at a time when federal prosecutors were after them — and McClellan was continuing to defend them despite mounting evidence they had not given him all the facts.

 

• McClellan asserts that the aides — Karl Rove, the president’s senior adviser, and I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, the vice president’s chief of staff — “had at best misled” him about their role in the disclosure of former CIA operative Valerie Plame’s identity.

 

...Decrying the Bush administration’s “excessive embrace of the permanent campaign approach to governance,” McClellan recommends that future presidents appoint a “deputy chief of staff for governing” who “would be responsible for making sure the president is continually and consistently committed to a high level of openness and forthrightness and transcending partisanship to achieve unity.[..]"

 

 

I don't care how loud this cowardly sycophant cries that he was misled...even if they were lying to him, you could see that he knew it. You could see it in his eyes...and his flop sweat.

 

So, will Scotty now testify on behalf of Joe and Valerie Wilson in the civil suit against Irving Libby?

 

Yes, Scotty is trying to sell some hardcovers...and there's always a flood of tell-all memoirs popping up near the end of an Administration. But if someone like McClellan, who was Bush's buddy since the Texas days, is willing to throw the White House under the bus just to clean up his own reputation...well, it looks like it's going to be an every-man-for-himself free-for-all for this one.

 

Well, to hell with them, every single damned one of them who sold out their country and now want to get rich telling us in great detail exactly how they screwed us. I'll read the excerpts but he won't get a single dime from me.

 

The dang war in Iraq was not a "blunder" or a "mistake"...it was a deliberate act of aggression to establish a base so we could control a region for its oil. Period.

 

And from the excerpts Scotty appears to lay most of the blame for Bush's failings on Karl Rove...and goes out of his way to portray Bush as a noble, blameless prince who was misled by corrupt advisors. <snort>

 

Nope, not buying it. From the fact that George W. Bush had never lived on a ranch in his life until Rove advised him to buy one in 1999 to emulate Ronald Reagan...to his phony "conversion" to Christianity, some of us saw through this BS from Day One. The facade will soon be crumbling more and more... there will be more ugliness to behold.

 

I'm still holding my breath that we survived it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Some Dems are saying that the easiest way to defeat John McCain this November is to make him mad.

 

We've all heard stories about McCain's cranky temper, and he sure showed where those stories came from yesterday when he got pissy after Obama had the nerve to disagree with him about Jim Webb's GI Bill extension.

 

From the Boston Globe, May 23, 2008:
"McCain misses vote on a new GI Bill, scorns criticism from Obama
Support for the troops returned as an issue to the presidential campaign yesterday with harsh words from both sides.

 

The Democratic National Committee accused John McCain of being AWOL from the Senate vote yesterday for a new GI Bill to provide better education benefits for returning veterans. McCain was in California on a campaign and fund-raising trip, while both Democratic contenders, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, left the campaign trail to vote for the bill, which passed by a veto-proof 75-to-22 majority.

 

On the Senate floor, Obama questioned why McCain opposed the bill. "I can't believe why he believes it is too generous to our veterans," Obama said. "There are many issues that lend themselves to partisan posturing, but giving our veterans the chance to go to college should not be one of them."

 

McCain, a Vietnam War hero, didn't take the criticism lightly - and while Obama is careful to honor McCain's military service, he mentioned Obama's lack of it.

 

"I will not accept from Senator Obama, who did not feel it was his responsibility to serve our country in uniform, any lectures on my regard for those who did," McCain said in a statement. "Perhaps, if Senator Obama would take the time and trouble to understand this issue he would learn to debate an honest disagreement respectfully. But, as he always does, he prefers impugning the motives of his opponent, and exploiting a thoughtful difference of opinion to advance his own ambitions. If that is how he would behave as president, the country would regret his election."[..]

 

 

Obama then came back with:
From politico.com: "I am proud to stand with Senator Webb and a bipartisan coalition to give our veterans the support and opportunity they deserve. It's disappointing that Senator McCain and his campaign used this issue to launch yet another lengthy personal, political attack instead of debating an honest policy difference. He should know that this is not about John McCain or Barack Obama — it’s about giving our veterans a real chance to afford four years of college without harming retention. Senator Webb’s bipartisan bill will do this, and the bill that John McCain supports would not. These endless diatribes and schoolyard taunts from the McCain campaign do nothing to advance the debate about what matters to the American people."

 

 

Now I ask you -- which candidate sounded Presidential? And which one sounded like a cranky old man?

 

McCain saying that if we are too generous it will deter troops from becoming "career" military, is just plain silly. If anyone in this country is deserving of generosity, it's the troops that are putting life and limb on the line every day.

 

Besides, if the deal is sweetened, wouldn't it draw more kids into the military?

 

McCain is probably just being honest about why he needs the kids to re-up instead of go to college -- we've got two wars going and need a larger military for all the wacky adventures he plans for his administration.

 

"Obama takes big step ahead in Democratic race"

 

Guess she was out to prove him electable, after all.

 

Look, I like both these candidates, they both have plus and minus qualities. I will vote for either one. But I have been so tired of this race...switching the news to cooking shows instead. I needed to refresh my mind.

 

But now it may be safe to start paying attention again.

 

"WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Barack Obama took a big step toward the Democratic presidential nomination with an easy victory in North Carolina on Tuesday, and Hillary Clinton vowed to keep her struggling campaign alive after narrowly winning Indiana. [..]"

 

 

Yep, after the worst couple of weeks of his campaign, Obama won North Carolina by 14 points and Hillary Clinton scraped by with only a 2-point win in Indiana. Looks like all that gas tax pandering didn't work, and now the arithmetic is even more stacked against her.

 

The TV talking heads are all but declaring her dead. Tim Russert said she canceled her morning TV appearances, and people are waiting for her to finally drop out. Maybe the game changed last night after all.

 

During the past month or so it's been pretty clear that Hillary's only chance to really win was to hope that Obama got hit by an asteroid or something. And he was hit by several asteroids...and still he stands. That he survived the Rev. Wright asteroid was heartening. He surely has the chops to take on McCain.

 

Hillary may not call it off yet, but the tolling bell of the inevitable is getting louder and louder. Even though Chelsea and Bill did all the proper fake smiles and head noddery as they stood behind her while she gave her Indiana “victory” speech, you could see sadness and defeat in their faces.

 

Even if you count Florida and Michigan, she would have to win KY and WV by thirty points. And then Oregon, etc. All she can hope for now is for Obama to have a bimbo eruption or an illegitimate child. You never can tell, so that may be why she's off to the next primary.

 

In the final analysis, I think it was all for the best that Clinton put up a good fight...her attacks surely have strengthened Obama, and in many ways immunized him for November.

 

Because, no matter her motivations, she did provide a valuable service and helped Obama learn how to persevere in the face of relentless attacks. The attack that got my goat was from that danged James Carville. Very few play the game of politics as dirty as James Carville (well, Karl Rove). Last week the ragin' Cajun was talking about Obama and told Newsweek, "If she gave him one of her cojones, they'd both have two." Classy, eh?

 

And still Obama stands.

 

I swear they looked rattled at Fox. I watched for a little while. Rove was trying to be negative about Obama and was insisting voters wouldn't see Bush when they saw McCain or vice versa, but they all looked sort of glum to me.

 

I enjoyed the hell out of it.

 

 

"Iraq: U.S. has no claim to oil boom"

 

'America has hardly even begun to repay its debt to Iraq,' Baghdad official says.

 

From chicagotribune.com: BAGHDAD — As Congress gears up to debate the Bush administration's latest request for an additional $108 billion in war funding for Iraq and Afghanistan, Iraqis are fuming at suggestions being floated by lawmakers that Baghdad should start paying a share of the war's costs by providing cheap fuel to the U.S. military.

 

"America has hardly even begun to repay its debt to Iraq," said Abdul Basit, the head of Iraq's Supreme Board of Audit, an independent body that oversees Iraqi government spending. "This is an immoral request because we didn't ask them to come to Iraq, and before they came in 2003 we didn't have all these needs.

 

".... the soaring price of oil is likely to give Iraq a revenue bonanza this year of up to $70 billion, ....why Iraq isn't using its rising oil income to pay more of the costs of reconstruction."[..]

 

 

How dare they! Everyone knows that 9/11 was an Iraqi plot, and that Iraq posed an imminent threat to the US. Everyone knows it certainly had nothing to do with oil, and everything to do with self-defense, or spreading freedom and democracy......<snort> NOT!

 

Yeah, I know...the US Congress is asking the people of a country which we have destroyed to pay for that destruction.

 

How much is the removal of Saddam worth?

 

But hey, 4,000 lives, $600 billion taxpayer dollars and counting. Just think what we could have done with that money to help our own people. We need to stop spending future money so we can help our war vets.

 

Sen. Carl Levin, chairman of the Senate Armed Services Committee, said that Iraq has over $30 billion squirreled away in US banks, collecting interest, and it could reap an additional $100 billion in oil profits from 2007 and 2008.

 

So, they've got a surplus, while we're running a deficit. Why should we continue to pick up the tab for reconstruction?

 

Let the Iraqis squander and steal their own money for a change.

 

I heard on TV that our troops in Iraq have to buy gas on the open market, paying $3.23 a gallon that they've sacrificed their lives to help deliver. Which means the Pentagon's spending $153 million a month in Iraq on fuel alone.

 

Besides, there is no war in Iraq, there is only an occupation of Iraq by US troops. How do you win an occupation? We have to find a reason to declare ourselves unnecessary and leave.

 

 

Ah, how sweet it is to be vindicated.

 

A CNN/Opinion Research Corp. survey released Thursday indicates that 71 percent of the American public disapprove of how Bush is handling his job as president -- setting a new record low. "The previous all-time record in CNN or Gallup polling was set by Truman, 67 percent disapproval in January 1952," said Keating Holland, CNN's polling director.

 

 

So what's with the other 29 percent? Are they living under a rock?

 

Ooh I see...the other 29 percent are Big Oil, Big Business, Big Pharm, Haliburton, Black Water...etc.

 

And if 71 percent of the American people don't think Bush is competently doing his job, many in that 71 percent have to be Republicans...hell, we don't have that many Democrats.

 

The irony is--we Democrats are screwing up our nominees so badly that if Bush COULD run again he would probably beat either of them.

 

After a week of the media flogging the Wright story as hard as they possibly could, you'd think that the number one worry that concerned voters was Obama’s relationship with his former pastor, right? It’s a reasonable guess to make, but boy would you be so totally wrong.

 

A new NBC/WSJ poll has been released asking which of the candidates liabilities they were most concerned about.

 

Nope, neither Obama’s relationship with Wright nor with the former Weather Underground buddy made the top of the list...instead finishing a paltry fourth place among chief concerns from voters. What made the top of the list?

 

John McCain’s close alignment with President George W. Bush.

 

From MSNBC: "....according to the latest NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll, the bigger problem appears to be John McCain's ties to President Bush.

 

In the survey, 43 percent of registered voters say they have major concerns that McCain is too closely aligned with the current administration.

 

By comparison:
36 percent have major concerns that Clinton seems to change her position on some issues (like driver’s licenses for illegal immigrants and the North American Free Trade Agreement, which her husband signed but which she now opposes)

 

34 percent say they’re bothered by Obama’s “bitter” remarks

 

32 percent have a major problem with the Illinois senator’s past associations with Wright and the 1960's radical William Ayers

 

27 percent have serious concerns that Bill Clinton would have too much influence on U.S. policy decisions if his wife is elected"

 

 

Pat Buchanan said on MSNBC that if President Bush is more unpopular than Rev. Wright, the Republicans are in a lot of trouble.

 

It's worth noting that the polling for this ended on Monday, before Obama's public denouncement of Wright.

 

I've thought all along that voters who cite Wright as a problem are voters who didn't like Obama in the first place. There was, perhaps, some doubt back in March when the issue first came up. But Obama handled it well in his Philadelphia speech on race...showed how his campaign sooo differs from the views of Wright. Wright's shenanigans last week only confirm those differences.

 

Let's get some perspective here:
Who cares about a two term president and his party who took your country into a terrible wasteful war which most people think was a bigger foreign policy mistake than Vietnam?

 

Who cares that the Bushies have molested your constitution, and with Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo made the US a global brand and target for torture?

 

Who cares about the scandal of sub prime mortgages which are causing a wave of recessions across the world? Or the fact that 40 million Americans have no healthcare?

 

No, no, no...Bush and his party and their catastrophic mismanagement of everything from Iraq to Katrina to tax cuts are unimportant. The public doesn't care about them.

 

What they really care about is a local preacher in a church in Chicago who said goddam America a couple of times.

 

NOT.

 

This is also interesting -- A Media Matters for America review found that since February 27, the date that televangelist John Hagee endorsed John McCain for president, The New York Times and The Washington Post combined have published more than 12 times as many articles mentioning Rev. Wright and Barack Obama as they have mentioning Hagee and McCain.

 

 

Remember Rev. John Hagee? The one who says the Catholic church is the Whore of Babylon, and that sin is to blame for Hurricane Katrina?