"A banana republic with nukes."
The collapse of the deal. A bipartisan rebellion in the House killed the $700 billion bailout plan for Wall Street yesterday, sending global stock prices plunging...dealing Bush his worst legislative defeat ever.
New Rule: Just because you live in the middle of nowhere doesn't make you more authentic than me. It just means you have a much longer drive to the airport.
Now, ever since Sarah Palin came along, this election has been falsely framed as a contest between salt-of-the-earth, small-time maverick westerners and snooty eastern elites. You know, there's people who go to church on Sunday, and there's people who go to brunch.
Even fast-talking, cross-dressing Rudy Giuliani - the former mayor of New York City - accused Obama of being too cosmopolitan. That's like being called a douche-bag by Andy Dick.
And...and listen to Mitt Romney from the same convention. He said, "If America really wants change, it's time to look for the sun in the west, because it's about to rise and shine from Arizona and Alaska." Of course, if the sun actually did rise in the west, that would mean the earth is spinning backwards and we'd all fly into space. But, then Mormons were never big on science. As you well know.
But, what Mitt was getting at is that the East Coast is where all the liberals, with their bad ideas, come from. You know, bad ideas like the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. As opposed to the brilliant ideas that have come out of the west like frontier justice and wearing cowboy boots with a suit.
The ideas this nation was founded on came from the most cosmopolitan people of their day, the founding fathers, who believed in science, who looked to Europe for wisdom, and who had no use for ignorant hicks like Bush and Palin.
Truth is - the truth is, as America moved west and got farther away from its birthing in Boston and Philadelphia, it became less American, not more. We keep hearing about small-town values, you know, like shooting wolves from an airplane or forcing your daughter into a doomed, loveless marriage.
Cities are about diversity of thought. Small towns are about...well, crystal meth. And, last year, police found 42 meth labs in Sarah Palin's home county. Drug addiction is a terrible thing, but apparently it beats living in Wasilla sober.
There's so much meth in this town, I'm surprised the Palins didn't have a kid named "Tweaker."
Heads up folks, we are all witnessing the birth of a new federal agency...sired by Wall Street. All those people who booed Healthcare for all citizens, calling it socialism, are now applauding this new beast, Wealthcare.
"Will latest bailout plan work? No one actually knows"
By Kevin G. Hall | McClatchy Newspapers
WASHINGTON — The Bush administration swung for the fences Friday with an unprecedented bailout of the financial sector that will cost taxpayers "hundreds of billions of dollars." It jolted markets back to life for the day, but questions remained about whether the bold effort would actually work.
Truth is, no one knows. America and its financial markets haven't been down this road before.
...Congressional leaders from both parties agreed to work through the weekend to craft legislation that would authorize the Bush administration's plan to buy up all of the mortgage-backed securities at the root of the problem and get them off the books of banks and other lenders.[..]"
http://www.mcclatchydc.com/227/story/52779.html
So, we the taxpayers are getting stuck with the gambling debts of those mortgage-backed pillagers, corporate raiders and hedge fund looters...who were taking home beaucoup booty and living high.
We're told the tab will be between $500 billion and $1 trillion...depending on just how worthless that worthless paper they are holding might be...
Of course, we couldn't expect the plundering class, the speculators, the grifters and grafters, to pay it, could we? So, as always, we the taxpayer will foot the bill for being stolen from...
Yes, I understand that our government must intervene, bail out our financial institutions and markets, to keep our economy from tanking any further...but it still pisses me off.
Few care that this big mess was caused by executives who gambled with company funds so they could personally pocket buckets of cash -- all enabled and encouraged by the Bush Administration's anti-accountability, "Free Market" ideology.
I see nothing wrong with a tax hike on those who are profiting from this bailout. Levy a surtax on everyone making $250K a year or more in the banking and financial industries.
A few days ago they they were crying poor me...today they're probably back to snorting coke off the stomachs of supermodels.
I hate it that those who are responsible for bringing our nation's markets to the brink of disaster will get off scot free. Congress needs to push for real accountability and create iron-clad deterrents to keep corporate looters from ever putting us taxpayers (and shareholders and workers) in this pickle again.
Hey, you know that Wells Fargo stagecoach you see in the commercials? I saw it heading out of town today, 100 miles an hour.
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Listening to Sarah Palin speak without a TelePrompter is like listening to George Bush try to speak Inuit.
A couple of days ago Palin was at a friendly town hall meeting and gave an interesting answer about...well, I'm not sure what it's about. But it has something to do with energy:
"Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules, where it's going and where it's not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it's Americans who get stuck holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It's got to flow into our domestic markets first."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvUsdmqGYV8
Make sure to click on the video to see the whole thing. It's fun seeing Wolf Blitzer puzzled.
She sounds very much like a student who crammed all night and now has everything all mixed up. I think she's saying that we're going to plant our flag on molecular fungi and hold back bags of it so it doesn't get exported except according to the bans we allow or don't allow to feed our hungry by degrees...oh, I give up.
Hey, maybe that's her debate strategy -- make every answer so completely incoherent that Joe Biden's head explodes.
We can mock her all we want...but those who see her as a Mommy who'll save all the unborn babies, those who see her as a Hot Mama, those who'll vote with the reptilian brain, are going to give her a 50 percent chance of being our President.
"U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson tried to calm growing fears, vowing that the U.S. financial markets will remain stable. And he said, 'You can take that to the bank, assuming you can find one that's still open.'" --Jay Leno
"Experts say we're going through what's known as a lock, stock and barrel financial phase. You know what that is, and how that works? People are locked out of their homes, their stocks are worthless, and the oil companies have us over a barrel. That's how it works." --Jay Leno
"The presidential election now down to the choice of Barack Obama and what's his name, versus Sarah Palin and what's his name." --Jay Leno
"I'm not sure if Sarah Palin knows what to do about the economy either. Do you think she has any experience? She was asked today what to do in a bear market. And she said, 'Well, you should shoot it, then skin it.'" --Jay Leno
"But John McCain campaign said that Sarah Palin will not talk to the media, this is a quote, until reporters can address her with respect and deference. Oh, what is she running for, vice president or queen?" --Jay Leno
"I tell you, you know who's got to be depressed about all of this? Hillary Clinton. I mean, look at this woman. She works hard, goes to Wellesley, goes to Yale, graduates with honors, devotes her entire life to public service. Now she's starting to realize if she had just put on some makeup and shot a moose, she'd be on her way to the White House." --Jay Leno
"A weird thing came out of the John McCain campaign. An adviser to John McCain ... claimed that McCain helped create the BlackBerry. That's what he said, yeah. Or, as McCain calls it, 'the fancy garage door opener.'" --Conan O'Brien
"Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin today said she thinks the economy needs some shaking up and some fixin'. I'm pretty sure is also her recipe for oven-baked chicken." --Jimmy Kimmel
"This weekend, Karl Rove said John McCain's attack ads have gone too far. When Karl Rove says you've gone too far, that's like Mel Gibson saying you’ve had too much to drink." --Craig Ferguson
"Both presidential candidates reacted to the market turmoil. Barack Obama laid out a detailed five-part plan, but John McCain's plan is much simpler. He’s just going to have his wife fix it." --Craig Ferguson
"For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.' Turns out 'Denali' is an old Eskimo name that means 'Dan Quale.'" --Jay Leno
"And of course, August was a big month for the campaigns. Barack Obama set a record for fundraising in August, raised $66 million. John McCain raised $47 million. And Ralph Nader got a $10 gift card from Jamba Juice." --Jay Leno
"And according to the Associated Press, Sarah Palin's church in Alaska is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays into heterosexuals through the power of prayer. They call it 'Pray away the gay.' ... I'm not making it up. That's the name of it. That's the name of the sermon, 'pray away the gay.' Hey, it's a lot better than the original title, 'think outside the box.'" --Jay Leno
"The Washington Post reported this week that Sarah Palin billed taxpayers in Alaska for travel expenses for 312 nights she spent in her own home. You know, maverick style." --Amy Poehler
"Well, here's a great scandal. Federal investigators say that members of the Bush administration who were in charge of overseeing billions of dollars in oil royalties received gifts and had illicit sex with oil company employees. They actually had sex with the oil company employees. You know, when the Republicans said, 'drill everywhere,' I had no idea." --Jay Leno
"Senator Larry Craig, you all remember Larry Craig, America's favorite restroom enthusiast. Well, he, somehow, he got a Minnesota court to hear an appeal of his case involving soliciting gay sex in an airport men's room. Unfortunately, the court recessed for a ten-minute bathroom break, and he got arrested again." --Jay Leno
"Larry Craig's lawyer told a three-judge panel in Minnesota that the foot tapping in a men's room must be protected under the first amendment right to free speech. Boy, the Republicans using the Constitution? When was the last time you saw that happen?" --Jay Leno
"No, that's what the lawyer said. The lawyer said, 'foot tapping in the men's room was a form of protected expression, like dancing.' Like dancing? Shut up! This guy is lord of the toilet dance now, apparently." --Jay Leno
"Because of Sarah Palin, people are now asking the question: is she ready to be president? Is Sarah Palin ready to be president? If, God forbid, something happens to John McCain, is Sarah Palin ready to be president? I don't think we need to worry about that, because Bush has lowered the bar so tremendously." --David Letterman
"Reporters asked her if she could ever be president and commander-in-chief. They asked Sarah Palin. Finally got a hold of her...Sarah Palin said, 'Yeah, sure, you betcha!' Does that make any sense?" --David Letterman
"The government is spending, what, $200 billion to bail out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. Unemployment, five-year high. Foreclosures are at a 19-year high. This means the Democrats are going to have to work extra hard over the next few weeks to blow this election." --Jay Leno
They say that John McCain's biggest challenge is to convince people that he's not George W. Bush. Hey, just the fact he went to Vietnam shows he's not George W. Bush." --Jay Leno
"Oh, got a little testy on the campaign trail today. A reporter asked John McCain if he ever Googled Sarah Palin, and McCain said, 'Hey, you take your filthy mouth, and get out of here!' There is no room for that kind of talk." --Jay Leno
Yep, Wall Street's biggest players were gambling everything from your savings account to your pension fund in a wild secret casino game...with no house dick looking over their shoulders.
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