Late-night shoe jokes 12/20/08
"George Bush is over there in Baghdad saying goodbye to the troops, and this Iraqi journalist heaves a couple shoes at the President. And we thought, hopefully that's just a one-of-a-kind episode. Unfortunately, however, the news coming out of the Middle East is that Iran is developing a long-range loafer." --David Letterman
"People are still discussing the shoe-throwing incident at our president. ... It was reported today that the Iraqi journalist who threw the shoes at President Bush had his arm broken when security subdued him. And even worse, it was his shoe-throwing arm. That guy is out for the season." --Conan O'Brien
"President Bush announced before he leaves office, he wants to visit the poorest regions of the world. You know, any place where people can't afford to buy shoes." --Jay Leno
"That Iraqi journalist who threw his shoes at President Bush the other day said he planned his attack for months. Planned it for months? That's what he said! I mean, take off one shoe. You throw it. You throw the other shoe. He planned it for months. And he still missed both times!" --Jay Leno
"The guy is being called a hero in the Arab world. So, he has this plan and it's a failure. And he's a hero. You know, if that's the standard, Bush would be the biggest hero in the Arab world." --Jay Leno
"President Bush made a surprise visit to Detroit today. Honestly, people in Detroit are upset with him, but I understand auto workers threw brake shoes at him." --Jay Leno
"As you know, the Bush administration has a new slogan: 'Duck!'" --Jay Leno
"As you know, President Bush took a surprise trip to Baghdad over the weekend and had a press conference with the Iraqi premier. A reporter threw his shoes at him, almost hit him. And the guy who threw the shoes, this guy was so angry, he was so anti-Bush, at first people just assumed he was an American journalist, but no." --Jay Leno
"In fact, to give you an idea how bad the economy is in Iraq, the shoes that were thrown at Bush came from Payless." --Jay Leno
"And it's not just President Bush, today somebody threw a pair of shoes at Sarah Palin. And she was very upset. She said, 'Do you have these in black?' and threw them back." --Jay Leno
"How about that guy that heaved his shoes at the president? Of course, everybody is saying well, what happened to the Secret Service? Good question. Where is the Secret Service? From now on, alright, take off your shoes. You want to see the president? Alright, slip out of those shoes." --David Letterman
"It turns out this guy was described as a hot head. He's a guy who is an Iraqi journalist. They say he's a hot head with poor journalistic skills. Well, no surprise, today he was offered his own show on Fox News." --David Letterman
"But I've got to give President Bush credit for this, because he's taking it all pretty well. He says that he's actually happy about the shoe-throwing episode, because he says it proves finally that Iraq does, in fact, possess foot wear of mass destruction." --David Letterman
"Today, President Bush told reporters that the shoe-throwing incident was one of the weirdest moments of his presidency. Yeah, Bush said the only thing weirder was the time he got re-elected." --Conan O'Brien
"Have you watched this tape? Some people are criticizing the Secret Service, because the shoe thrower caught them off guard. The man was able to throw a second shoe. A spokesman for the Secret Service said, 'Sorry, but we were laughing our asses off.'" --Conan O'Brien
"I was impressed by how nimbly President Bush was able to dodge those shoes. I know he's got a lot of dodging experience from his years during the Vietnam War, but this was pretty slick." --Jimmy Kimmel
"So the guy who threw the shoes is now a hero in Iraq. They say he's shown the world that Iraqis have no masters, but I think what he really showed the world is that Iraqis have no aim, because he was like four feet away and couldn't hit him." --Jimmy Kimmel
"By the way, this is the country we thought had nuclear weapons. It turns out they have a pair of size 9 Hush Puppies instead." --Jimmy Kimmel
