Sooner Blue

"New Rule: If the water in your river makes the male fish grow vaginas, stay thirsty. 90% of Washington D.C.'s drinking water comes from the Potomac, a river so polluted with hormones it makes fish change sex. If I wanted to drink something that makes me grow a vagina, I'd order a wine cooler." –Bill Maher

"Arizona is the meth lab of democracy." –Jon Stewart on Arizona's new immigration law

"Last week, President Obama gave a speech in New York City about his plan to reform these rules on Wall Street, you know? And one embarrassing moment. When the head of Goldman Sachs was going through security, he was asked to empty his pockets and five Republican senators fell out." –Jay Leno

"And the state of Arizona, has a new slogan: 'get out.'" –Jay Leno

"Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer signed the nation's toughest anti-immigration bill into law. It's unbelievable. It makes it a crime as a state law to be in the country illegally. It lets police question anyone about their status. You know what this means? Rich people in Arizona may have to start raising their own children now." –Jay Leno

"It's an unbelievable law. And it's already starting to backfire. Today, a group of Native Americans pulled over a bunch of white guys and said, 'Let's see your papers.'" –Jay Leno

"Arizona's Governor had been stalling, you know, on signing this. She said it did not reflect any ambivalence about the bill. She just wanted to make sure her pool was clean and her lawn was mowed before she signed." –Bill Maher

"The U.S. Treasury unveiled the new version of the $100 bill last week. They needed to come out with a new one because, apparently, China has all the old ones." –Jay Leno

"During the economic meltdown, employees at the SEC were using government computers to watch pornography. Ironically, while they were watching porn, the other employees were watching Goldman Sachs screw the entire country." –Jay Leno

"One SEC employee spent up to eight hours a day looking at porn. And the worst part is, he billed them for 10 hours." –Jay Leno

"Former President Bush is writing his memoir. Writing his autobiography about his eight years in the White House. He's not done with it yet, but he's already put up the mission accomplished banner." –David Letterman

"Former President George W. Bush is working on his memoirs. I'm excited just to hear him pronounce the word 'memoirs.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"The title of Bush's memoir is 'Decision Points." It narrowly edged out his original title, which was 'My Bad.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"George W. Bush's memoir is coming out Nov. 9. On the cover, Bush is wearing a dark suit and holding a briefing book with his head slightly turned from the camera, or as Bush calls it, 'posing all serious-like.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"This week Arizona signed the toughest illegal immigration law in the country, which would allow the police to demand identification papers from anyone they suspect is in the country illegally. I know there are some people in Arizona worried that Obama is acting like Hitler, but can we all agree that there's nothing more Nazi than saying, `Show me your papers?' There's never been a WWII movie that didn't include the line, `Show me your papers.' It's their catchphrase. Every time someone says `Show me your papers,' Hitler's family gets a residual check. So heads up Arizona, that's fascism. I know, I know, it's a dry fascism, but it's still fascism." –Seth Meyers, on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

"Obama is getting his mojo back. Apparently, he's going to get this financial package. That's right, the financial package is going through. He got healthcare. He got that nuclear weapons treaty… He's on a roll and he's taunting his critics. His new slogan is, 'Change You Can Suck On.'" –Bill Maher

"What is it with radical Muslims and cartoons?They watch more cartoons than pot-heads." –Bill Maher, re the group threatening the "South Park" creators

[gathered from NYT Laughlines]

Remember - glue movies are any movie you can't stop watching whenever you happen to surf by it on TV.

Doesn't matter how many times you've seen it, doesn't matter if you already own it .. just forget the dishes, skip the laundry and let the yard work go to hell .. just pop some corn because you're stuck in your glue movie until the credits roll.

The other night I got stuck in a glue movie, The Commitments - about poor working class Irish youth forming a rock band, "bringing soul to Dublin." You should hear them do Try a Little Tenderness, Mustang Sally and In the Midnight Hour.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDBlBT8BgNc

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQKmrQfxRHQ

The lead singer with the blond ponytail is the 16 y/o son of a producer .. 16 years old. He just happened into the role when the other singer couldn't make it. I can't believe this kid's Joe Cocker voice.

Anyway, this is about the 6th time I've seen it, still love it, great music, great fun, great characters, a sad peek into Dublin's slums .. and you need to have an ear for the dialect, which I do. And be warned, they say the 'fook' word about a thousand times.

Yep, the Republicans in Southern California are in trouble again .. but this time it's not bondage lesbian sex, it's voter registration fraud.

And for doing the very same thing that they flipped out about when ACORN did it, when ACORN offered workers bonuses to register voters .. and got scammed because their employees registered Mickey Mouse, etc.

Hold on .. no, it's NOT the same thing. Those fraudulent ACORN "voters" NEVER made it onto the voting rolls anywhere .. because ACORN staff threw them out.

The Orange County Register sez that in the last month, more than 100 young Californians have reported being registered to vote as Republicans without their consent.

Seems that "petitioners prowling parking lots" at community colleges and discount stores have been tricking young people into registering as Republicans by asking them to sign petitions "for causes like legalizing marijuana, fighting cancer, or cleaning up beaches."

Clean beaches and legal pot are popular ideas in So-Cal, and the petitioners registered hundreds of voters in just a few weeks.

But when the Register contacted some of those newly registered Republicans, they found out that many of them had no idea what they had signed up for .. or that they had been deliberately lied to.

Out of 90 new Republicans, only 16 said they actually wanted to be members of the GOP.

"The rest told stories of fast-talking petitioners, some advertising free sunglasses if they signed."

All of the voters were under 30, many of them said they didn't know much about politics .. and a few even asked, "What is a Republican?"

The Register said a similar scheme landed several GOP petitioners in jail in 2006.

Anyway, the Orange County District Attorney's Office and the Secretary of State are investigating this latest flimflam.

I'm just amazed they found over 100 people in Orange County who weren't Republican!

I know .. I used to live there.

In "Who Wants to Beat a Millionaire" The Daily Show's Jon Stewart's take on financial reform partisan politics and the Bankster Senate Hearings is dead-on -- Timberwolf really does seem to be ‘one sh*tty deal’ with that sleaze bag, the Fabulous Fab, making his fortune off the backs of widows and orphans. What an arrogant, self-centered jerk .. who cares only for himself and his own self indulgence.

I wish Republicans would get as outraged and angry about Wall St. profiteers as they do about illegal aliens.

These Goldman Sachs creeps are a far, far bigger threat to the security and prosperity of this country than the guy from Mexico working illegally at the carwash.

.. or at least stunned. Just goes to show you that guys will do anything if you promise them a "surprise"...

I, personally, use a nail gun.

"An American woman who blindfolded her husband and promised him a surprise, before hitting him in the head with a hammer, has been sentenced to 30 days at home with an ankle monitor.

Amy Teresa Ricks of Utah was also given probation and community service. The 37-year-old pleaded guilty to second-degree felony aggravated assault in February.

Prosecutors have agreed to reduce the conviction to a third-degree felony after Ricks completes probation. They also agreed to let Ricks seek expungement of the crime after seven years.

Ricks' husband suffered minor injuries in the May 2007 attack. At the time of her plea, Ricks' defence attorney said the two were still married but were separated."

"Nebraska Police Say Man Who Concealed His Face With Toilet Paper Robbed A Convenience Store

(AP) LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - A man who concealed his face by wrapping his head with toilet paper robbed a Lincoln convenience store. Police said the man was armed with a knife when he robbed the store around 10:30 on Saturday night. He escaped on foot with an undisclosed amount of money from the safe.

Capt. David Beggs said Sunday that no one was injured."

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/04/27/ap/strange/main6437442.shtml

"If AZ legislators are a guide, now we know why John McCain changed his stripes: His state has gone right wing nutty, passing constitutionally questionable measures to require President Obama to *produce his birth certificate and empowering police to target immigrants for possible racial profiling (which even *some police chiefs are rallying
against).

If that is the mood in his home state, it is no wonder that McCain is battling for reelection as a staunch conservative, shunning his old maverick ways. In supporting the immigration bill he first weirdly claimed that illegal immigrants are *"intentionally causing accidents
on the freeway," forcing aides to later try and *explain it away.

Arizona might have just given national Democrats a politically powerful reason to rush consideration of immigration reform in a bid for outraged Latino voters in the congressional elections."

By Craig Crawford | Congressional Quarterly | April 22, 2010

http://blogs.cqpolitics.com/trailmix/2010/04/immigration-reform-bring-it-on.html

No, not the the lizard cockney, but the actor who says, "15 minutes could save you 15 percent or more on your car insurance" .. for calling Tea Party HQ group Freedom Works and asking them how many employees are mentally retarded.

No really, but get this, he left a fake name, but gave his real phone number.

Here's Jon Stewart of the Daily Show having fun with it:

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/mon-april-26-2010/geico-fires-voice-actor

Wouldn't you know that teabaggers started calling voice-over guy Lance Baxter at home .. he taped the calls and made them into a YouTube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FAB0-0Vbff0&feature=player_embedded

So, the winner of who leaves the worst voicemails is ...

Yes, a guy by the name of McVey was detained at the same NC airport President Obama flew out of a couple days ago. Police said McVey had a gun, scanner gear, and his car was equipped with sirens and rifle scope formulas. They asked him why his car was equipped with police gear .. he said he wanted to see the president.

Turns out the police don't think he was that big a risk ..

~~~"From NBC's Pete Williams
Official concern is very low over the Ohio man arrested Sunday at the North Carolina airport where President Obama's plane took off.

Based on the airport police report, it appears that Joseph McVey pulled into the rental car parking lot about a minute after the president's plane left. His appearance provoked curiosity, because his car was loaded with police scanners and antennas. He had flashing police-style lights and a siren. And he was carrying a sidearm.

However, officials say he had a license to carry the gun and was apparently the kind of person who likes to hang around cops and help out -- in parades with crowd control, for example.

This morning, one official familiar with the investigation says McVey heard the president's plane was at the airport and wanted to see it take off.

McVey has been charged with a misdemeanor, common law public nuisance violation. But there's nothing to indicate that it's going to go much further."~~~

Okay, the "official concern" for McVey may be low, but I'm still not convinced. He has to be a little loony to go around the president armed and with gear like that. The term "rifle scope formulas" raises the hair on the back of my neck ...

So, who is this guy and why does he arm himself and have a siren and flashing police lights on his car? How will an ordinary person know that he is NOT a police officer?

Never trust a civilian who has all the equipment to imitate law enforcement .. all across this country there are people who have faced these types of imposters and are lucky to be alive today.

I saw this video on the news this morning .. this brave little squirrel even used his own body to cover his dead friend.

"Don't even think about it! The fearless squirrel who fights off crows determined to eat his dead friend

By Daily Mail Reporter .. 27th April 2010

Loyalty among the larger creatures of the animal kingdom is well documented.

But faithfulness and friendship from a squirrel?

A remarkable video has appeared showing just that, with one scaring off several crows as he protects the dead body of his little mate.

His stand against overwhelming odds and the formidable devotion shown by such a small animal has been acknowledged by over half-a-million hits on the video-sharing website YouTube.

Unsettled by the squirrel's approach the crow backs off and, emboldened, the rodent edges forward until he is standing over his friend's body.

When the crow lurches forward to take a peck, the squirrel jumps and frightens it off.

The squirrel continually waves his tail in warning but then another crow steps up fancying its chances. The plucky rodent then stands on its hind legs, poised for a stand-off.[..]"

I saw them talking about this on TV. Glue movies are any movie you can’t stop watching whenever you happen to surf by it on TV.

Doesn't matter how many times you’ve seen it, doesn’t matter if you already own it .. just forget the dishes, skip the laundry and let the yard work go to hell .. might as well pop some corn because you're stuck in your glue movie until the credits roll.

I have several, Caddy Shack is one .. Like Water for Chocolate is another, also A Fish Called Wanda. I got stuck in a Julia Roberts movie just yesterday -- and not a very good one -- Something to Talk About (with Dennis Quaid, Kyra Sedgwick, Robert Duvall and Gena Rowlands). The best casting of sisters (Julia and Kyra), that I've ever seen .. their mouths are even the same. I don't know why I like this movie, I just do. Also love Bonnie Raitt's song.

Scientist Stephen Hawking thinks that extraterrestrials exist out there in the universe's 100 billion galaxies .. and he warns against us seeking them out. He said, "If aliens ever visit us, I think the outcome would be much as when Christopher Columbus first landed in America, which didn't turn out very well for the Native Americans."

Hmm .. will they give us blankets infected with smallpox?

From timesonline: "[H]e suggests that aliens might simply raid Earth for its resources and then move on: "We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn't want to meet. I imagine they might exist in massive ships, having used up all the resources from their home planet. Such advanced aliens would perhaps become nomads, looking to conquer and colonise whatever planets they can reach." [..]"~~

And here's us, advertising our existence ever since we began using radio and TV waves.

But c'mon, get serious .. if a civilization is advanced enough to master interstellar travel, I doubt they would need the resources of our puny planet.

And why in hell would an intelligent species want contact with us .. especially if they spent more than a week observering us? Look how badly we all get along with each other .. we look like a herd of dumb, dangerous animals.

"Toyota is recalling 600,000 minivans because the spare tire holder can break and the spare tire can go flying down the highway. It's bad enough Toyota cars can run you off the road — now the parts are chasing you down the street." –Jay Leno

"Well, the government said today Somali pirates being held in U.S. custody will be brought to the United States for prosecution, and they will be tried by a jury of their peers. So I'm guessing that's what, Goldman Sachs?" –Jay Leno

"You see this on the news? Gay and lesbian activists chained themselves to the White House fence to protest the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. And when Republican Party officials saw the lesbians chaining themselves to the fence, out of force of habit, they paid $2,000 to watch." –Jay Leno

"Here's something great. General Motors today paid back all the government loans five years ahead of schedule. Amazing what hard work, careful planning and Toyotas rolling over and crashing into trees can do for you." –Jay Leno

"Today the U.S. Treasury released its new $100 bill. It's the most high-tech piece of currency the world has ever seen — until Apple comes out with the '$100 bill Nano.'" –Craig Ferguson

"Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a Democratic administration." –Jon Stewart

"Fox News: You are the lupus of news." –Jon Stewart

"Well, folks, a big setback for NASA. President Obama cutting the space program of sending men to the moon. Although he can point to one big achievement during his time in office. We did put an astronaut on 'Dancing with the Stars.'" –Jay Leno

"Hey, here's an amazing fact. Sarah Palin made $12 million last year. In fact, Sarah Palin had such a good year, she was actually able to quit her part-time job as governor of Alaska." –Jay Leno

"Officials now say that the two most senior leaders of al Qaeda in Iraq have been killed in a joint U.S.-Iraqi mission. I believe the names were 'what's his face' and 'the guy who plays the guy who replaced the guy we killed last week.'" –Jay Leno

"Well, just four days after Goldman Sachs cost investors $12 billion by failing to tell them that they're being investigated for fraud, they gave out another $5.4 billion in bonuses. Huh? Even Somali pirates are going, 'Come on!'" –Jay Leno

"Larry King has filed for divorce. The rumor going around is that Larry's wife left him for a younger man, John McCain." –Jay Leno

"Larry King getting another divorce. Had an affair with his sister-in-law but in his defense — there is always another side to the story — in his defense, at his age, you know, it's hard to remember which sister he's married to." –David Letterman

"For those of you visiting from Iceland, happy Ash Wednesday." –Jay Leno

"The British government sent a warship to France to bring home stranded Britons. There was an embarrassing moment — when the ship pulled up to the port, the French immediately surrendered." –Jay Leno

"Talking about air travel and the volcano. The good news, ladies and gentlemen, regular airline service is resuming. The bad news — regular airline service is resuming." –David Letterman

"Because of the volcano, the airlines lost $2 billion. Usually, all they lose is my luggage." –David Letterman

"The giant cloud of ash over Amsterdam is so bad that you can't even see the giant cloud of hashish." –Jay Leno

"The volcano cloud is gritty ash and it's making its way toward Russia. In fact, Sarah Palin can see it from her house." –David Letterman

"The big volcanic cloud from Iceland is making its way over to New York City. They say that the city's air quality is actually improving." –David Letterman

"Thousands of tourists are stranded in Europe, but it's giving the passengers the opportunity to go share a bar stool with one of the pilots." –David Letterman

"Airports from London to Warsaw are on their sixth day of shutdown. The airports are closed because a volcano is erupting. Smoke and ash are spreading over Europe. The smoke cloud is big and thick. Meteorologists originally thought it was coming from Willie Nelson's tour bus." –Craig Ferguson

[gathered from NYT Laughlines]

On his HBO show, Real Time with Bill Maher, Bill Maher puts on a funny teabag hat and called out the Tea Party for protesting government spending while completely ignoring outrageous defense spending (video below):

Maher: "The problem with the tea party movement, besides their almost universal rejection of dentistry, is that they want money for nothing and chicks for free. They want a deregulated free market and their jobs to stay here in the US; they want guaranteed health coverage regardless of preexisting conditions without a big government mandate; they want to call themselves teabaggers and people to keep a straight face. And of course they want big tax cuts along with deficit reduction. I can’t even think of a suitable analogy for that disconnect–it’s like thinking getting a handjob will clean your garage.

We spend more on weapons than the next top 15 military powers combined. Let's cut it in half so we only spend as much as the next 8 countries behind us and see if anyone invades us.

Teabaggers, If you'll look into that, I will believe you really are 'we the people,' 'what about our grandchildren' patriots. But if you're unwilling to cut defense and give up the empire, you don't really care about the debt. And you have to admit: you're just a racist sore loser."

He also rips into we the people and our disconnect from our government's finances:

Maher: "Ask the American people how they want to tame the deficit. By raising taxes or cutting spending. And cutting spending wins. Always. By a huge margin.

Next question, so what government spending do you want to see cut? Answer: nothing. Not a thing.

America is like a family that spends way more than they bring in. But Mom won't give up her shopping sprees and Dad won't give up that big stupid boat he bought. Even now when we utterly can't afford a big stupid boat.

And you know what America's stupid boat is? It's our empire. We have an empire. We have half a million of our troops in other peoples' countries all over the world. That is our boat. And maintaining that empire and everything that goes into defense costs us about $1 trillion dollars a year. Most of which goes to fighting the Russians in 1978.

Fighter planes for all those dog fights we get into with the Taliban, submarines to foil their evil plot to blow up our ships with car bombs, and space lasers to shoot down their exploding underpants…scream about handouts, this is what they should be protesting.[..]"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=if88PgI-vfU

Like my friend said, maybe we should just pin yellow stars on them ....

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer (R) has signed an odious new anti-immigrant bill into law .. making it a misdemeanor to not carry immigration papers around .. the police can ask to see your papers if you just look shifty.

I think the last time law enforcement went around asking for "papers" was in Nazi-occupied Europe.

Unless you can trace your ancestry back to Native Americans, we are all immigrants. We need smart immigration policy to integrate workers along border states .. not wasting money and man power checking "papers."

The governor will be up for re-election in a few months .. need I say more?

What does this new law mean? Mexican-Americans and Native-Mexicans both look Hispanic to the police. Is that reason enough to stop someone who is doing nothing wrong?

How would a naturalized US citizen who spoke with an accent, be able to prove that he/she was a citizen? No one carries around their papers. Would you lock them up until they could get proof? This is a racist, xenophobic action and a huge waste of tax payer money.

Won't this law already violate the Constitution in more ways than one? We'll have to wait until someone is actually stopped before they can challenge the law in federal court.

When you think of the demographic trends, the governor signing this into law right now was the dumbest political move in Arizona history.

Imagine how fired up Latino voters in Arizona will be for 2010. Brewer just turned the state a whole lot bluer.

Unless every Latino who shows up to vote is arrested on suspicion .. and released the day after the elections...

Seriously folks .. I'm so tired of seeing teabaggers/wingnuts slam the immigrants and anyone else who looks like a Mexican .. even though some of our Mexican-American families have been in this country for 400 years.

Remember that ALL of these illegals came here at *your* behest, you wanted cheap labor to cut your grass, wash your dishes, wipe your .. hey, let's not forget that they pick your fruits and vegetables. But *you* never confronted the sleazeball businesses that didn't enforce *our* labor laws, *you* turned your backs when they were being exploited, but *you* were only too happy to take their tax payments.

This law is a travesty for our country .. it goes way beyond just the immigration issue.

My guess is that much or all of this is going to be thrown out by the courts, which will force the GOP to go spittle-flecked crazy .. further driving the growing Latino population away.

Read about it here.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/POLITICS/04/23/immigration.obama.brewer/

When I saw this video of Buddy the German shepherd filmed by an Alaska State Trooper's dashboard camera, I burst into tears .. it is so haunting, beautiful, dramatic, and primal. It made me miss my German shepherd Max .. the smartest, most loyal, best dog I ever had. He understood words too.

But back to Buddy. Just like in a "Lassie" episode, this hero dog led police through winding country roads to the scene of a fire, where his human Ben was injured. Ben had been working in a home workshop when a fire broke out, his face was burned, he ran out side closing the door so the fire wouldn't spread. Then he remembered that Buddy was inside .. when he let him out, he told him, "We need to get help."

That's when Buddy took off running .. Ben thought into the woods because Buddy was a shy dog.

Neighbors had called police when they saw the fire in the distance, the trooper was on his way but his GPS froze up on him, and there were so many twisting back roads .. suddenly he saw Buddy, running ahead of him, looking over his shoulder, apparently leading the way.

On a hunch, the trooper followed the dog and arrived on the scene just in time. He was able to give the fire department the difficult directions, and they put out the flames just before the fire spread to the family's home.

Alaska State Troopers presented Buddy with a hero's award yesterday .. including a silver-plated, engraved dog bowl. I hope Ben puts a nice big steak in it.

Read about it and see the video here.

Kevin Keller will be Riverdale’s first "openly gay character" .. so everyone who has been wondering about Jughead all these years…keep on wondering.

The Archie Comics of my childhood is in for a big change. Riverdale High School will have its first openly gay student, Kevin Keller. He'll be the new student to join Archie, Jughead, Veronica, Betty and Reggie in September. He'll rebuff the persistent romantic advances of Veronica until he finally tells Jughead, "It is nothing against her. I'm gay,"

When you think about it, this is a pretty smart move .. not only good publicity, but it shows the extent to which Archie is really in touch with its audience. Most tweens and teens of today have zero hangups about gay people. Once their generation comes of age, most of the homophobia we know today is going to seem like the debates over whether women should be in the workplace.

At that same Tea Party rally in South Carolina where former Congressman Tom Tancredo urged the teabagger crowd to send President Obama back to Kenya .. there was another speaker who questioned the sexuality of the state's Republican senator Lindsey Graham.

"Barney Frank has been more honest and brave than you. At least we know about Barney Frank, nobody's going to hold it over his head," .. "Look, I'm a tolerant person. I don't care about your private life, Lindsey. But as our U.S. senator, I need to figure out why you're trying to sell out your own countrymen, I need to make sure you being gay isn't it."

Here it is on YouTube;

The dung of a cute furry nocturnal jungle creature? I'll take your word for it. You couldn't drown that in enough White Chocolate coffee syrup and Whipped Cream to get me within a half mile of it.

Just goes to show that you can tell superficial, pretentious, shallow people that something is incredibly exclusive and rare, and charge them an obscene amount of money for it.

Read about it here: "A civet farm in Liwa, a town in Sumatra, where the catlike animals eat coffee cherries. Their droppings contain coffee beans fermented in their stomachs."

As with many things in this life, I wonder about the first person to think, hey, what if we gathered civet coffee cherry dung and made coffee out of it!

Last weekend Saturday Night Live took on the Teabaggers by presenting Bill Hader as James Carville on "Weekend Update".. he went to town on Tea Party politics, clothing style and their silly signs. Very funny bit. Hader is great as Carville.

He made reference to Obama poking fun at them, Carville spelled it out:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/update-james-carville/1219734/

"The water on top of the yogurt" .. loved it.

"Russia has banned all adoptions to America. So if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces." –Bill Maher

"These people wake up angry. Glenn Beck today is furious about the volcanic ash cloud from Iceland. He knows it's Obama's fault, he just can't figure out how." –Bill Maher

"What a day for the the tea party people. Did you see that? America’s parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down – but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally." –Bill Maher

"Federal taxes last year went down for 98 percent of people, but when asked about this, only 12 percent of the Teabaggers thought this was the case. 88 percent of them had it wrong. And a spokesman for the Teabaggers said, 'We don’t want to just be taxed less. We want to be taxed less by a white guy." –Bill Maher

"They used the opportunity on Tax Day to come up with what they call a 'Contract From America.' Remember the 'Contract With America'? Well, this is a different set of 10 completely ridiculous ideas. Like number 4, I'm not kidding about this: 'The tax code cannot have more words than the Constitution.' You know between this and the complaints about the healthcare bill being too long, can we say it? It's not taxes they hate, it's reading." –Bill Maher

"Sarah Palin got an iPad and she was complaining that it's not really that absorbent." –Bill Maher

"There's a new poll that says that Pope Benedict's approval rating has dropped to 35 percent. But he has a plan to turn it around. He's going to make a Nike commercial where he just stands there and takes shit from Tiger Woods' dad." –Bill Maher

"Hey, you probably heard about this on the news. Now being reported that the terrorist organization Al Qaeda is in financial ruin. To give you an idea what bad shape they're in, today I saw a terrorist buying a shoe bomb at Payless." –Jay Leno

"A giant cloud of ash from a volcano in Iceland has stopped air traffic all across Europe. The airlines are jumping all over this. They're now charging passengers a $400 volcanic ash cloud fee." –Jay Leno

"In an interview with GQ Magazine, Lou Dobbs said he’s considering running for president. Hey, stranger things have happened — Lou Dobbs being in GQ Magazine being one of them." –Jimmy Fallon

"A town in Tennessee elected a dead man as its mayor. Finally, a politician who won't cheat on his wife." –Jimmy Fallon

"At a Tea Party rally in Boston, Sarah Palin praised the crowd for winning that Senate race in Massachusetts. She said: 'Shoot, look at what you did in January. You shook up the United States Senate.' Unfortunately, no one heard the Senate thing, because after she said 'shoot,' 300 guns went off. " –Jimmy Fallon

"Well, do you know this story? Toyota has stopped selling their Lexus SUV because it poses a high risk of rolling over. But according to a Zogby poll, 62 percent of Americans believe that Toyotas are safe or safer than other vehicles. The other 38 percent are still in critical condition." –Jay Leno

"Researchers found that you are more likely get germs from money than any other object. … Really? Then how come poor people aren't healthier?" –Jay Leno

[gathered from NYT Laughlines]

Especially this year .. with anti-government extremism on the rise. It was on this day 15 years ago, 9:02 am, that wingnut crazy Timothy McVeigh used a truck bomb to blow away 168 lives at the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Okla. City.

Many of the dead were babies and children in the daycare center on the first floor.

McVeigh chose the date carefully, to bring attention to the the deadly end to the federal government's siege of the Branch Davidian complex in Waco, Texas.

Today, and every year on this date, we wait to see if another crazy does something horrific to commemorate what McVeigh did.

McVeigh died by lethal injection in June 2001 for the worst act of terrorism ever committed on US soil .. until 9/11/01.

His victims were silenced forever, but their killer, it turns out, lives on to speak from the grave. Seems there are 45 hours of audiotapes from interviews he gave before he died .. he liked talking about what he did.

Tonight, 8-pm Central, MSNBC will air a 2-hour documentary -- "The McVeigh Tapes: Confessions of an American Terrorist."

All week we've seen promos for it .. the inside story, with McVeigh describing how he killed all those people and suggesting that victims' families need to "get over it." Chilling.

I don't know if I'll be able to watch all of it ...

But this program is a timely warning .. because the Tea Party and Oklahoma politicians are talking about forming armed "militias" to "protect state sovereignty."

That's what teabaggers are saying .. in Oklahoma, of all federal building bombing places.

The Tea Party's true colors are definitely showing with this latest Oklahoma militia lunacy, I am so embarrassed for my state .. and a little frightened.

It's been all over the news about Tea Party crazies teaming up with Republican lawmakers to discuss creating a volunteer militia to defend Oklahoma's liberties and protect against "excessive" federal intrusion on state sovereignty.

Yes, they seem to think that the federal government should not only be disregarded -- but opposed with force.

Seriously.

Aren't they getting awfully close to committing the crime of sedition? Aren't they edging close to advocating the overthrow of the government?

Republican gubernatorial candidate Randy Brogdon insists that when the Founding Fathers created the Second Amendment, this is what they had in mind.

"The founding fathers "were not referring to a turkey shoot or a quail hunt. They really weren't even talking about us having the ability to protect ourselves against each other," Brogdon said. "The Second Amendment deals directly with the right of an individual to keep and bear arms to protect themselves from an overreaching federal government.""

First of all, that's not true .. secondly, I just can't believe that this is happening now .. in Oklahoma, of all places.

Monday, April 19th, my state will observe the 15th anniversary of Timothy McVeigh's anti-government "statement" -- the murderous bombing of the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. 168 dead, 500 crippled and wounded. Many babies and children were blown to bits .. there was a large day care on the first floor.

So, it just boggles my mind that these teabagger "patriots" can't see the terrible danger, not to mention the irony, of wanting to create a heavily armed gang of zealots who believe the government should be overthrown .. right on the eve of the anniversary of McVeigh's act of domestic terrorism.

I saw President Clinton on CNN talking about the danger of angry anti-government rhetoric coming from talk radio and Tea Party rallies .. how it could lead to violent acts. He said this is the same anti-government climate that lead to the Oklahoma City bombing.

We've already had death threats against members of Congress .. and a plane flown into an IRS building ...

If you ask me, it's not the government that most of them are fightin' mad about, it's because we have a black man in the White House. Their signs say they want "their country" back .. a fantasy world of Father Knows Best families with smiling white faces, who live in Mayberry, etc.

Well, somebody ought to tell them that President Obama has his own personal militia .. and it will always be bigger and more powerful than theirs.

"According to the Pentagon, Al Qaeda is in financial ruin. Good. I think that's called Al Karma." –Jay Leno

"This Friday is the deadline for mailing in your Census form. People all around the country put down how many people live in their houses — while Tiger Woods and Jesse James put 'kind of a tricky situation right now.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Yahoo is producing a daily video series, based on its most popular news stories, in partnership with Toyota. Of course, they're having a tough time getting the site up because it always ends up crashing." –Jimmy Fallon

"Here in California, our attorney general said he's going to investigate whether a university foundation that hired Sarah Palin to give a speech violated public disclosure laws. They had some controversy. Some students found her contract rider in a dumpster. That is a list of demands a performer has when they appear somewhere. Usually you see them for, like, rock stars, but Sarah Palin has one, I guess. Among other things, Palin's rider requires two first-class tickets from Alaska or a private jet from Alaska, nothing smaller than a Lear 60, and it has to have a window she can shoot out of." –Jimmy Kimmel

"She has to have three hotel rooms, a wooden podium, not plexiglass, two bottles of water, and best of all, I think, a supply of bendable straws. This is a complicated woman. On one hand, you know, she'll blow a moose's head off at 300 yards, but on the other, bendy straws." –Jimmy Kimmel

"We may have another Oprah on our hands. Since leaving her job as the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has made more than $12 million. That is a lot of money for someone who can't say words that end in 'g.'" –Jimmy Kimmel

"And they say $12 million is a conservative estimate. She may have made a lot more, and yet, she continues to blame Obama for the bad economy. It seems - weird, right?" –Jimmy Kimmel

"The figure is a little bit misleading because most of that money is Alaskan currency, which is primarily made up of pelts and shiny rocks." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Well, the big story is the president of China, Hu Jintao, I believe his name is pronounced, is in Washington this week. Boy, it's causing some controversy. You may have heard about this. President Obama was seen bowing to the Chinese leader. Well, he has to. I mean, the rent is going to be late again next month." –Jay Leno

"In fact, leaders of 40 nations are in Washington this week for the nuclear summit. And the President Hu of China was supposed to speak first. And that caused a lot of confusion when the moderator said: 'Who's on first?' 'Yes.' 'No, who?' 'Yes.' 'No, who?' 'Yes.' And it went back and forth. It got a little confusing." –Jay Leno

"President Obama announced that in 2012 he's going to hold his next nuclear security summit at a site in South Korea, right near the North Korean border. Seriously? That's like if you held a biker chick rally right across the street from Jesse James's rehab facility. You're asking for trouble." –Jimmy Fallon

"Tiger Woods said he would try to keep his emotions under control, but after a bad swing, he used the F-word. Who does he think he is — vice president of the United States?" –Jay Leno

"In a speech, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael-Steele, said 'I am the first here to admit I've made mistakes.' Then the stripper giving him a lap-dance said it will still be 20 bucks." –Jay Leno

"I watched so much golf this weekend. Tiger finished in 4th place, which means he only won $330,000, which is barely enough to pay his text messaging bill." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Tiger's obviously under a lot of stress. It's very difficult to play when you have a padlock on your underpants." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Conan O'Brien announced today that he will move his show to TBS. Later in the day, Jay Leno announced that he will also move his show to TBS." –Jimmy Kimmel

"According to the Pentagon, al-Qaida has been so weakened financially that they're turning to crimes like drugs, prostitution, and adjustable-rate mortgages." –Jay Leno

"President Obama signed a historic treaty with the Russian president. Not everyone's happy about it. Fox News said it was a 'summit between a powerful communist leader and the president of Russia.'" –Craig Ferguson

"I watched golf today. It's boring. There was no sex at all, just a bunch of middle-aged white guys and one guilty-looking black guy walking around." –Jimmy Kimmel

[gathered from NYT Laughlines]

Bow down to the Icelandic gods

Scientists say it is too early to predict how long the volcano eruption will last .. its last major eruption in 1821 lasted for two years .. no problem with air travel then.

There's something special about a Saturday morning rain .. I miss cuddling with CB.

The lawn is swamped in puddles .. sprouts of newly planted flowers fight to breathe in their drenched beds, which are bloodied muddy swirls of red Oklahoma earth.

My peach tree's baby leaves and pink blossoms hang heavy under the weight of rain drops, as they drink in the morning.

Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly should really start watching his own network .. or at least doing his own research .. because he delivered a jaw-dropper the other night when he claimed that no one on Fox News ever said that you would go to jail if you didn't buy health insurance. He said they had "researched to find out if anybody on Fox News had ever said, 'You're going to jail if you don't buy health insurance.' Nobody's ever said it, so it seems to me that... you used Fox News as a whipping boy."

Uh-huh .. and nobody on that proud news network ever disparaged Nancy Pelosi in any personal way .. nor have they ever implied that 16,000 IRS Agents are being hired to comb Americana looking for uninsured people to throw in jail.

See, it all started last week when Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK) told one of his town hall constituents that, under the new healthcare law, the federal government doesn't intend to jail anyone for not buying insurance. He said, "That makes for good TV news on Fox, but that isn't the intention."

Next thing you know, rightie Coburn was attacked by other righties who want to promote their scary propaganda and lies about "Obamacare."

But Coburn's biggest mistake was to call Fox News anything but "fair and balanced."

Here's the video of O'Reilly and Coburn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ILYOM85cOnY

Well, it's a good thing our friends at Media Matters keep up with these things .. they helped jog O’Reilly’s memory.

What amazes me is that Glenn Beck said this to O'Reilly himself .. on O'Reilly's show.

~~~"Fox News has repeatedly pushed the false claim, including on O'Reilly Factor

On The O'Reilly Factor, Glenn Beck told O'Reilly you "go to jail" for not having health insurance under bill. From the November 13, 2009, edition of Fox News' The O'Reilly Factor:

O'REILLY: Couldn't they do [liposuction] at the same time [as your appendectomy]?

BECK: No, they wouldn't. No. I don't have universal health care.

O'REILLY: No, let's get -- well, you will soon.

BECK: Or I'll go to jail.

O'REILLY: Are you going to be a conscientious objector to health care?

BECK: You know, this is the first time in history in our country where, just to be a citizen, just to be -- just to not go to jail, you have to buy something.

On his own Fox show, Beck falsely claimed that "if you don't get into their government health care, there will be jail time." On the November 12, 2009, edition of his Fox News show., Beck claimed that "if you don't get into their government health care, there will be jail time."

On Fox & Friends, Rush Limbaugh falsely claimed the health care bill "puts people in jail" for not having health insurance. On the February 4 edition of Fox & Friends, Limbaugh asserted: "This is not even a health care bill. This is a bill that raises taxes 14 times; puts people in jail, potentially, if they don't have health insurance mandated by the government to buy. This is an avenue to control every aspect of life."

Dick Morris has repeatedly made the false claim. On the November 9, 2009, edition of Fox News' Hannity, Morris asserted: "One of the provisions in the Pelosi bill is you actually can go to jail for not having health insurance. It says if you don't have health insurance, you have to pay a fine of 2.5 percent of your income to the government. And if you don't, you face $250,000 or five years in prison.[..] " ~~~

There's plenty more in the Media Matters piece -- Hannity, Judicial analyst Andrew Napolitano, Greta Van Susteren, etc. -- with quotes and video to back it up.

So, a woman in a hot-air balloon realizes she’s lost. She lowers her altitude and spots a man in a boat below. She shouts down to him;

"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago,  but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his  portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air balloon,  approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above  sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north  latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west  longitude.

"She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be an  Obama Democrat."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you  know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you  told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with  your information and I'm still lost.  Frankly, you've  not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded,  “Which means you must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the balloonist.  "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantities of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, now you expect me to solve a problem you created, you're in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

Want an Internet that's 100 times faster?

Remember the groaning whine of the dial-up modem? Remember web page download times so slow that you could run to the store for a loaf of bread? Remember waiting an hour for email with photos to download?

Well, for most of us, dial-up Internet has gone the way of TV rabbit-ears and the cassette tape .. they're just something that we'll one day explain to our wide-eyed grandchildren.

Now, close your eyes and dream of an ultra high-speed Internet .. where movies and webpages can download almost instantly, in a fraction of a second.

It might sound like a fantasy, but it’s very real .. and it's our old friend Google who is experimenting with new ways to make Internet access better and faster for everyone .. 100 times faster.

Google announced a couple of months ago that it's working on an ultra-high speed network, called Google Fiber for at least 50,000 and maybe up to 500,000 people.

I saw on the news recently that Google is looking for a few lucky communities to be guinea pigs for the new system.

Competition has been fierce (and funny, a mayor jumped into an icy lake), cities are pulling outrageous stunts .. anything to catch Google's eye. Remember when Topeka, Kansas renamed itself 'Google"? And Google renamed itself "Topeka" for April Fool's day?

Most of us take our high-speed connections for granted .. but dial-up is still a painful reality to nearly 100 million Americans who live in rural and low-income areas. Maybe faster connections are too expensive, or maybe access is a problem .. many of the big Internet service companies don't want to shell out the bucks to add the needed infrastructure.

So, this isn’t just about downloading movies, or video chatting across oceans .. hopefully Google will push the federal government to expand high-speed Internet to everyone across America.

Read more here:

Because our "hopey changey thing" is workin' out just fine .. youbetcha!

Here's the latest on RNC chairman Michael Steele's super secret strategy to regain control of the House.

With Robert Wexler (D) retiring, his US House seat in South Florida was up for grabs in a special election. Republicans could hardly contain their glee -- this would give them a chance to create a "referendum" on the Obama presidency. You know, because it would be the first election since the Healthcare Act was signed into law .. they just knew that voters would be pissed enough to vote any Democrat down.

Their Republican candidate, Ed Lynch, ran on a strictly anti-Obama platform .. he vowed to repeal the new healthcare law, said it was a government takeover and would gut Medicare. He trashed Obama's stimulus bill, said it did little to help the economy. He even bragged that he would be the next Scott Brown.

Just the things the teabaggers wanted to hear, right?

Well, guess what? Turns out that their so-called referendum, their backlash against Democrats and Obama, skyrocketed Lynch to a 26-point defeat. Yes, defeat.

After 100 percent of the precincts reported, Democrat Deutch had 62 percent of the vote, compared to 36 percent for Republican Lynch. A "no-party" candidate trailed far behind with just 3 percent. The Associated Press called the race only two hours after the polls closed.

Deutch said if that was a referendum on what direction this country is going, then in Broward County and Palm Beach County, Florida, the Democratic Party is alive and well.

Or as Fox news would say -- Democrats are weakened, disheartened, and on the run.

~~~"Democrat Ted Deutch won a special election Tuesday for a Florida congressional seat in the nation's first federal election since the passage of the Democrats' health care plan.

Deutch held a sizable lead over Republican Ed Lynch late Tuesday night in the Palm Beach-area 19th District, prompting Lynch to concede.

Deutch had 62 percent of the vote compared to Lynch's 36 percent with 97 percent of the precincts counted, CNN affiliate WFOR reported."~~~

When you put it all in a larger context, there have been six special elections for US House seats since Obama's inauguration 14 months ago -- NY#20, IL#5, CA#32, CA#10, NY#23, and FL#19.

Democrats have won all six.

When Deutch is sworn in, the House Democratic caucus will return to 254 members.

So, by all means, more of this please. Republicans, you must make the 2010 midterms a referendum on Obama!

Yep, Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) was minding his own business on a flight from Los Angeles to Boston, when he was verbally harassed by a pair of drunken female ophthalmologists .. sisters, it turns out. Sounds like a skit on Saturday Night Live, right?

A passenger, Brooke Sexton, said the doctors started to get rowdy when they saw Frank on the flight, yelling that the healthcare bill was an "Obamanation" .. and eventually Frank's partner, Jim Ready, told them, "If you're trying to be bitchy, you're doing a good job."

Oooh, that's one thing you never call women who are acting like bitches ...

When flight attendants didn't do anything, Sexton tried to diffuse the situation. "The women had been drinking, and they were crying and shouting," Sexton told The Globe. "They were clearly the antagonizers, and Mr. Frank was kind of minding his own business."

"Speaking to the newspaper, Frank had his own take on the situation: "It reminds me of the joke about the woman who's in a restaurant and Clark Gable's there. She complains to the waiter, 'Clark Gable is annoying me.' The waiter says, 'He's not even talking to you,' and she says, 'Yes, and I find that very annoying.'"

You know, once upon a time, you could count on most people having a certain amount of class .. behaving with a modicum of decorum. Looks like it's becoming a lost art.

At least Barney handled it all with humor .. and, whether you agree or disagree with him, he is an American citizen and should expect to be able to travel freely without fear of attack, intimidation or harassment. It shouldn't matter which elected official was sitting in the seat.

There are plenty of ways for other citizens to express their views about Congress .. pestering on a cross-continental flight is not one of them.

Anyway, as more time goes by, polls show that more Americans support the Healthcare Act .. especially when polled on individual aspects of the bill, and once they get past the Republican "government takeover" talking points.

It's amazing what Righties find humorous

"NY Tea Party gov. candidate sent videos of bestiality, pics of Obama as pimp"

From rawstory.com: "Carl Paladino, a Tea Party-backed Republican candidate for governor of New York, sent dozens of sexually explicit and racially insensitive mass emails in recent years, including one featuring bestiality and another that was made popular by a neo-Nazi organization.

An online news site in western New York has uncovered dozens of emails from Carl Paladino, a Buffalo-area land developer who threw his hat into the ring for governor last week.

Among the emails Paladino forwarded to numerous people was one of a photo of President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama dressed in pimp and prostitute outfits. The email subject line read "White House Ball."

Another email featured an embedded clip of a hard-core bestiality video featuring a woman and a horse; yet another email was entitled "Miss France 2008 f**king."

According to WNYMedia, in December 2008 Paladino sent around a YouTube video under the title "Obama Inauguration Rehearsal." The video features African tribesmen dancing in a village square. WNYMedia noted that the video had been posted to the Web site of Stormfront, a neo-Nazi organization.

....Paladino announced his campaign for governor last week with what the New York Times described as a "Palinesque populist message."

And even before his campaign was officially launched, Paladino found himself the subject of controversy. One day ahead of his announcement, the New York Daily News reported that Paladino had had a love child during an extramarital affair with a former staffer at one his real estate development business.

....Paldino has described himself as "the only Republican in the race who agrees 100 percent with conservative values." [..]"

"Conservative values" .. <falls over laughing>

Bestiality?

Racist YouTube links?

Now, a love chile in the mix?

Trying to buy the election with his own money?

In a contentious race fer the GOP nomination fer NY Gov?

This oughta be good.

< makes popcorn >

Mickelson wins Masters, Tiger 4th.

One of the amazing things that happened was when that little piece of pine tree fell from the sky directly in the path of Lefty’s birdie putt on the 2nd hole .. causing the ball to zig past the cup. But he didn't cuss or throw his club .. he calmly strode on.

Golf great Bobby Jones once said -- "Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course...the space between your ears."

Yesterday at the Masters, we had two other great golfers -- Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods -- trying to push their troubles aside and win a coveted green jacket. Both have definitely had serious personal issues crowding that little course in their heads -- Tiger's secret sex life exploded, and Mickelson's wife and mother battling breast cancer.

Tiger created his own problems, Mickelson didn't create his. Tiger fell apart yesterday, Mickelson didn't. So, who's the true champion?

I'd say Mickelson .. for yesterday, at least. He looked a bit haggard, had lost some weight, but he kept his focus. He took some chances -- his second shot on 13, out of the pine needles and narrowly through two trees, to plop 3 feet from the hole. It was one of those electrifying moments that makes us golf nuts go crazy.

Also Tiger's ridiculous eagle on the 7th hole ...

In a way Tiger was a winner too .. think back to where he was just a week ago. Nobody knew what to expect -- bimbo eruptions, disrespect from the Masters galleries, etc. BTW, the FAA grounded that plane carrying the snarky banners.

After being in solitary confinement for 5 months of sleazy tabloid frenzy and cable TV gossip, also numerous grillings from the press, he finished 4th, shot 11-under par. Not bad. And the gallery was respectful, cheering him on.

Some silly people are saying that Mickelson’s victory is an example of divine intervention .. they are happy that Tiger lost because he must be punished or the moral fabric of the country will somehow be destroyed.

Hey, didn't you guys ever hear of Ty Cobb, Babe Ruth, Wilt Chamberlin, and Pete Rose, etc. etc. etc.?

I just can't go along with the thinking that if someone has done anything wrong in their personal life, then their hard work and talent shouldn't be respected, or rewarded. Except for rapists and the torturing and killing of dogs, that's where I draw the line.

Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn who Tiger has sex with. I mean, it's not like he's a cheatin' politician, who makes laws against doing what he himself does in the closet .. this is just a guy who hits a ball with a stick for a living.

Tina Fey hosted "Saturday Night Live" last night .. dressed up in a Sarah Palin leather jacket, and did an excellent job mocking Palin and the Republican Party. Her skit was about Palin's new career move -- operating her own TV network, the "Sarah Palin Network." You betcha! One of the programs will be -- "Are You Smarter than a Half-Term Governor?" Another -- "Hey Journalist, I Gotcha,"

There was also a little dig at the teabaggers for their many misspellings and grammar mistakes in their protest signs. "Over weight people dressed as Paul Revere protesting from lawn chairs!" Love it!

Tina won several awards -- an Emmy -- for her brilliant Sarah Palin impression, and her satire is still spot on. Catch it here:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/sarah-palin-network/1217966/

"KFC coming out with their new Double Down sandwich. It’s bacon and cheese wrapped inside two pieces of fried chicken. In fact, today, al Qaeda said, "We quit. When it comes to killing Americans, we can’t keep up with you guys." " --Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin’s daughter is speaking out. In an interview, Bristol says, she realizes she was totally unprepared to be a mother. Hey, it’s better than being a mother that’s totally unprepared to be vice president."--Jay Leno

"China has cancelled a series of Bob Dylan concerts because they say his lyrics are too politically charged. Really? They understand his lyrics? That’s unbelievable. Maybe that’s why we didn’t understand them. He’s been singing in Chinese all these years." -- Jay Leno

"Well, earlier this week, President Obama kicked off the baseball season by throwing out the ceremonial first pitch. They said President Bush did a better job throwing out the first pitch. But on the other hand, President Obama can talk." –Jay Leno

"Next week, the president of China will be at the White House. And good news — he has no plans to foreclose." –Jay Leno

"Well, give you an idea how important this visit is from the Chinese president, I understand Joe Biden is busy learning some Chinese curse words." –Jay Leno

"And in a major reversal of U.S. policy, President Obama has narrowed the conditions under which we would use nuclear weapons. He said we'd only use them against Iran, North Korea or Fox News." –Jay Leno

"The government says the economy is bouncing back. So now we can go back to making cars nobody wants. That will be good." –David Letterman

"People were standing in line around the block all weekend to get an iPad. Out in Arizona, John McCain was waiting in line for an IBM Selectric." –David Letterman

"And they've been talking about the iPad for months, maybe years. I'm telling you, it took longer for the iPad to come out than it did Ricky Martin." –David Letterman

"Experts believe the iPad will revolutionize the way people procrastinate." –David Letterman

"Michelle Obama held a town hall meeting on C-SPAN to answer questions from kids about her anti-obesity campaign. The most popular question from kids was, 'Why are you doing this to us, lady?'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Tiger Woods will play his first golf tournament in five months, and his first tournament in six years without lipstick on his lucky underwear." –Jimmy Kimmel

[gathered from NYT Laughlines]

A psychologist lady says if you want to know what kind of lover someone is, just watch how they vacuum. Reminds me of a dirty limerick I once heard:

There once was a boy named Kevin
Who used a vacuum to stretch it to seven,
Then eight and then nine,
And though ten was divine,
There will be film at eleven.

..."The "Dasher" likes to speed around with the vacuum cleaner, usually missing bits. This person is impatient, ambitious and fast-talking - not the type to take their time in bed.

"In contrast the "Methodical" always vacuums the same way, and would never dream of shortening the time it normally takes. In life, they tend to be reliable and cautious and prefer to take things slowly between the sheets.

"The "Grafter" looks forward to vacuuming as a physical release from stress. They tend to be hard-working and tenacious - and are happy to please their partner.

"The "Drifter" doesn't notice whether they are picking up the dirt. This type tends to be dreamy and self-absorbed, and in bed can seem distant or detached.

"The "Protester" uses vacuuming to display displeasure. They crash around, bumping into pieces of furniture - and when it comes to sex they are sometimes selfish and prefer their partner to do most of the work," reports The Daily Express."

http://feeds.bignewsnetwork.com/?sid=621111

Dang, here we go again, Republicans go nu-cu-lar over President Obama's decision to "substantially narrow the conditions under which the United States would use nuclear weapons."

And they're all over the media twisting the truth .. worrying it like a dog worries a bone. Their tactics remind me of what Nazi Joseph Goebbels said: "If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it." Think healthcare death panels.

One reason Sarah Palin is so popular with her base is her ability -- maybe her handlers' ability -- to dumb down political issues to a few sound bites. Makes it simple for them, and easy to remember.

After her rally with Rep. Michele Bachman -- those two are so fabulous together -- Palin was on Sean Hannity's Fox show to "analyze" President Obama's new pledge of "no first use" of nuclear weapons.

Here's how she described the policy -- "It's kinda like getting out there on a playground, a bunch of kids, getting ready to fight, and one of the kids saying, 'Go ahead, punch me in the face and I'm not going to retaliate. Go ahead and do what you want to with me.'"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZtVgfmSQH0

No, it's not very cerebral -- or even accurate -- but it sure registers with the teabagger crowd.

Only what Palin chooses not to mention is that the United States WOULD retaliate, just not with nuclear weapons. Using Palin's playground analogy, if a kid punched her in the face, she'd want to retaliate by blowing his head off with a missile.

President Obama reacted to Palin's criticism; he told George Stephanopoulos of ABC News -- "The last I checked, Sarah Palin's not much of an expert on nuclear issues."

The president said he's more inclined to listen to his military commanders.

That's not all -- Fox News anchor/activist Megyn Kelly said the US policy may leave the United States "defenseless" .. then showed a clip of a nuclear bomb explosion as she was going to commercial.

They have to know what they are saying is bullshit, but it simply doesn't matter. Fox, and most of the Republican party, have crossed a line where they can just balls-out lie about anything and everything to tear down President Obama. Period.

What about their supposed hero Ronald Reagan, who made many deals to cut nukes, even while Russia headed the USSR? Even said he dreamed of a day without nukes.

Here's Page van der Linden on Daily Kos explaining away some Republican talking points. The entire post is worth reading, but here are a couple of rightie arguments that you're most likely to hear:

~~"MYTH: This treaty, and the Nuclear Posture Review, say that the United States is "unilaterally disarming" and Russia gets to keep all their nukes.

That is absolutely untrue. You'd have to have a brain more dense than uranium to think that it's true.... Even by 2020, we are not going to be free of all of our nuclear weapons. Neither will the Russians. We will have plenty left on either side, and those are just the strategic nukes. We still have tactical nuclear weapons on both sides too, which is a topic for another time. [...]

MYTH: Obama's policy is "no nukes, period".

Well, I'll just point you to the table above, and you'll see that's not true. His speech in Prague a year ago has been repeatedly misinterpreted by people on both the left and the right; in summary, yes, he, like Ronald Reagan and a number of other people, thinks the world would be better off without nuclear weapons, but he also realizes the reality of the real world, which is that there are a lot of nukes out there, and deterrence is the realistic approach and will remain so for a long time."~~

The opinions of military leaders and policy experts on the subject have made it clear that the right-wing arguments have no foundation in reality.

But like Page said, "All in all, I think the hysteria from FOX News that we are somehow "less safe" even though we're going to have thousands of nuclear weapons on hand for the near future, is pretty ridiculous, but it's also sinister, because people start to believe it."

Which brings us back to the Goebbels quote.

But, the Crazy of the Week award goes to Rep. Michele Bachmann, who would like to nuke anyone who pisses her off:

"So if in fact there is a nation who is compliant with all the rules ahead of time...if they fire against the United States, a biological weapon, a chemical weapon, or maybe a cyber attack, then we aren't going to be firing back with nuclear weapons," said Bachmann. "Doesn't that make us all feel safe?"

This elected official wants to nuke whoever tries to hack into our computers.

I can't even joke about this. I spent my grade school years crouching under my desk, and now this crazy woman wants to make that nightmare come true.

"You know, 30,000 people showed up for the annual Easter Egg Roll at the White House. Or as Fox News calls it, a 'socialist free food giveaway.'" –Jay Leno

"A 7.2 earthquake hit southwest of Tijuana. They say the earthquake was felt by 20 million Mexicans, and that was just here in L.A." –Jay Leno

"Well, here's some good news. The United States and Russia have signed a historic nuclear weapons treaty. Apparently, Russia is getting a little nervous. They heard we had successfully mounted a warhead on a Toyota Prius." –Jay Leno

"Sunday was the big White House Easter egg hunt. Of course, the

Catholic priests didn't have time to hide eggs, they were too busy hiding each other." –Jay Leno

"As you know, the Roman Catholic Church continues to be rocked by this sex abuse crisis. In fact, they're thinking of changing their name to the Roman Polanski Catholic Church." –Jay Leno

"President Obama has come out with a new policy for using nuclear weapons. In a related story, Joe-Biden said he would try not to drop the F-bomb so often." –Jay Leno

"The FAA announced that they are going to allow airline pilots to take anti-depressants. So now, if your pilot is drunk, at least he'll be a happy drunk." –Jay Leno

"Well, the Labor Department reported that the economy added 162,000 jobs last month, all of them bodyguards for Tiger Woods." –Jay Leno

"You know what happened in Las Vegas today? Sarah Palin, former governor of Alaska, was speaking at the alcohol convention in Las Vegas, Nev. Because, I mean, let's face it, nothing says family values like gambling and liquor." –David Letterman

"John McCain told Newsweek that he doesn't really consider himself a 'maverick.' What kind of man would call himself a maverick for years and then suddenly say he doesn't think of himself as a maverick? I'll tell you what kind — a maverick." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Sarah Palin gave a speech in Nevada, where she criticized President Barack Obama for being a constitutional law professor. The problem with that statement is Sarah Palin thinks that's an insult. Only in America, you want to insult someone, call them a teacher." –Jay Leno

"President and Mrs. Obama hosted the annual White House Easter Egg Roll. Dozens of children gathered on the White House lawn to roll eggs toward a finish line while the president cheered them on and Republicans tried to block them." –Jimmy Kimmel

"President Obama threw out the first pitch at the Washington Nationals' game. Obama took a short windup and threw a high-arcing pitch. Of course, Democrats saw the pitch as moderately close to the middle, while Republicans are calling it 'way to the left and possibly socialist.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Some people aren't sending their census forms because they're angry at the government, which is dumb because the census is how we figure out who gets represented. So if you don't send in your form, your state gets fewer congressmen. Which, come to think of it, maybe none of us should send in our forms because no congressmen seems like the perfect number, really." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Hey, here's another deal going on over at the Jacob Javitz Center. It's the annual New York City Auto Show. I like the new tiny cars. Like the gas-saving, the tiny little semi-hybrid electric things with the fewer seats. You know, they have fewer seats, just like the Democrats after November, fewer seats." –David Letterman

"This is my favorite story of the week. The Republican National Committee is in trouble after spending nearly $2,000 at a bondage club in Hollywood. You know what I call a Republican that spends a lot of money in a strip club? A Democrat." –Jay Leno

"In fact, one eyewitness said 'some of the things going on in the club were almost too masochistic for the Republicans to watch.' Like in one room, there was a video being played over and over of President Obama signing the healthcare bill." –Jay Leno

"What is it with Republicans? They won't let lesbians get married, but they'll pay to watch them lick each other on stage." -- Chelsea Lately

"Here's a fascinating story. The Republican National Committee got together and said, 'You know, boys, things are going so well for us here lately, let's have a party.' So they said, 'Well, yeah, but we don't want to pay for it.' And they said: 'No. We'll get the Republican National Committee to pay for it — money that we get from donations and contributions. We'll let the folks pay for it.' And everybody said, 'Great, what do we do?' And they said, 'Well, let's go to Los Angeles to a sex club.' And they said, 'Great!' So they end up there at a bondage club in Los Angeles. And I thought that makes perfect sense because Republicans love tying things up: health care, you know; climate control; financial reform." –David Letterman

[gathered from NYT Laughlines]

It's all over the news .. the arrest of the unhinged man who made death threats against Senator Patty Murray (D-WA) because she voted yes on health care reform.

And to think how outraged and offended the Republicans were a while back, when the Southern Poverty Law Center report warned us to beware of right-wing violence in America!

Thank goodness that law enforcement officials are taking these threats seriously.

"Federal prosecutors have charged a Washington state man, Charles Wilson, with repeatedly making threatening calls to Sen. Patty Murray's district office, threatening to kill her because of her support for the health-care bill.

FBI agents say they arrested Wilson after getting telephone records and calling him to confirm that his voice matched the voice left on voice mail in Sen. Murray's office. Agents called, posing as opponents of the health-care bill, and engaged in a 14-minute conversation with him."

Police said Wilson began making menacing calls months ago, but as the vote drew nearer, so did the nastiness of his expletive-filled messages. It was clear that he wanted to kill the Democratic senator, saying that it would only take a single piece of lead.

I think this is the first arrest associated with wingnut opposition to healthcare reform. There was a crazy last week in Philadelphia, a man was charged with threatening Rep. Eric Cantor (R-Va.), but he was declared unfit for trial and ordered to undergo psychiatric treatment. He told police that God chose him to eliminate evil, didn't say anything about healthcare. Turns out he had also threatened other officials, including President Obama.

If you watch the news, you'll know that many Democrats who voted for HCR have been receiving the most vile and scary messages at their homes and offices, some with death threats, but all are full of racism, anti-Semitism and don't forget misogyny.

Righties are going to holler it's about 'free speech' .. but with our political rallies turning into displays of snarling hatred, with people roaming around armed with rifles and handguns near candidates, with our country's history of assassination, more people should be speaking out about this. (My Senator Coburn took baby steps in this directions .. I posted about it today.)

Let's all take a minute to remember how John Boehner, the House minority leader, said from the house floor that the passage of health reform was "Armageddon."

And how the Republican National Committee put out a fund-raising letter with a picture of Speaker Nancy Pelosi surrounded by flames, while the committee's Chairman Steele declared that it was time to put Pelosi on "the firing line." Yes, the head of the Republican party said that.

And how Sarah Palin put out a map of where Democratic lawmakers live .. literally showing them in the cross hairs of a rifle sight.

Then there's Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Fox News fanning the flames for the lunatic fringe .. doing their part to push the wingnut crazies over the edge. This can't end well.

As much as the Democrats despised George W.Bush and his two wars, they never used this language of violence and guns .. never threatened the lives of our politicians and police force in any way, shape or form in the public square.

My biggest fear is that sooner or later one of these Limbaugh/Beck/Fox crazies is going to murder a government official .. maybe even take a shot at Obama.

Then the right-wing noise machine will whine just like they did about Timothy McVeigh -- "We didn't encourage him..."

I'm talking about my Okla. Republican Senator Tom Coburn, who, before he went on Spring Break, single-handedly blocked jobless people from getting an extension of their unemployment benefits; he also blocked extenders for the National Flood Insurance Program (NFIP) .. right when so many northeastern states have been battered with rain and widespread flooding.

Just when I want to tell him off royally, he defends Speaker Nancy Pelosi to a teabagger crowd, said she is a nice lady .. then he defended healthcare, and warned the crowd against the myths perpetrated on Fox News:

Coburn defends Pelosi, takes swipe at FOX

~~~(CNN) - House Speaker Nancy Pelosi - a lightning rod among opponents of the recent health care legislation - is being defended by an unlikely source: Conservative Oklahoma Sen. Tom Coburn.

Coburn is a fierce opponent of the health care bill but told participants at a recent town hall in his home state that Pelosi is a "nice lady" who deserves to be treated with civility.

"Come on now, she is a nice - how many of you all have met her?" Coburn said to groans from the crowd. "She is a nice person. Let me give you a little lesson here, I hope you will listen to me. Just because somebody disagrees with you doesn't mean they aren't a good person."

The comments, first reported by Capitol News Connection and recorded by local NPR station KGOU, strike a markedly different tone than that adopted by the Republican National Committee, which posted a large "Fire Pelosi" banner on its Web site last month and pictured the House Speaker amidst balls of fire.

Coburn spokesman John Hart confirmed the comments and said he believed they came during a March 31 event in Oklahoma City.

In the same town-hall, Coburn reiterated his opposition to the health care legislation but warned town-hall attendees to be wary of information they receive about the bill on Fox News.

"What we have to have is make sure we have a debate in this country so that you can see what's going on and make a determination yourself," he said. "So don't catch yourself being biased by Fox News that somebody is no good. The people in Washington are good. They just don't know what they don't know."

The Oklahoma Republican and medical doctor also pushed back against one town-hall participant who said the legislation aimed to imprison people who don't buy health insurance.

"The intention is not to put any one in jail. That makes for good TV news on FOX but that isn't the intention," he said.

Coburn also advised his constituents to get their news from a broad range of sources: "Don't just watch Fox News or CNN, watch them both," he said. "I read two papers a day - the New York times, the Washington Post, and in between the Wall Street Journal. I get a perspective."~~~

Well, okay then .. he's not a complete snake .. but he still left a whole lot of people in a world of hurt.

Truth be told, Senator Tom is probably sensing that the torrent of violent rhetoric being fed to gullible teabaggers and the frightened Fox News audience, might have some ugly consequences for the nation .. or at the very least, for the GOP come mid-term elections.

Yesterday, after not playing a competitive round of golf in five months, Tiger Woods hit his first tee shot at just after 8 am. It sailed 75 yards wide of the fairway .. but not one catcall was heard.

I know, we shouldn't care about Tiger-Gate .. the only ones who should care about his private life are his family and his sponsors. But the media still chews on it like a dog on a bone. Yes, they should cover more important issues such as jobs, the economy and political obstructionism, but they can tell from their ratings that we the public sometime need a little break from all that.

Anyway, Tiger had a good press conference yesterday .. he again apologized to everyone he had hurt, and talked about finding his "inner peace" yada yada. He swore he’ll be a different man this week at the Masters .. will show more respect for the game .. be less excitable on the golf course. What, no more tantrums and fist pumps? Gee. I'll miss the fist pumps .. because I'm usually doing them too.

I don't know if all he said was the truth -- after all, for years he managed to convince everybody that he was a righteous family man while juggling a dozen or so mistresses -- but when he said "it's not about the championships, it’s about how you live your life," I said uh-oh, ain't buyin' it.

If Tiger loses that drive to win, that competitive edge .. then what's the point? We golf nuts think he's the greatest champion in a generation, and we want to see how far he can go, how many records he can break. He has 14 majors, four shy of Nicklaus’ record.

I mean this is a guy who has built his entire life around winning golf tournaments .. his passion and drive are what made him such a feared champion .. and why competition often fizzled at the sight of his name on a leaderboard.

So, I don't want to hear 'it's just a game' ...

I hope the crowds keep focused on his game and not his peccadilloes. Golf crowds are a different breed, most of them would rather die than sneeze at the wrong time .. so maybe they'll respect his concentration.

Gad .. they said on TV that Security guards at Augusta National were actually carrying around pictures of Tiger's girlfriends .. that one of them asked a woman at the fifth hole if she was the stripper.

True golf nuts will probably accept that he was a very naughty boy and move on. The most compelling part of this story now is not what Tiger is doing with his penis, but what he's doing with his golf clubs.

Can this 'new and improved' Tiger still win golf tournaments?

A urologist in Orlando, Dr. Jack Cassell, has posted a sign in his office -- "If you voted for Obama...seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your healthcare begin right now, not in four years."

Hey doc, keep that up and soon your practice will consist entirely of rich old white wingnuts who suffer from erectile dysfunction. But wait, I repeat myself .. ba dum ching.

Cassell told the Orlando Sentinel he wouldn't deny care to patients who support the president .. he just wants them to feel unwelcome and seek medical treatment from doctors who don't care how they voted.

Then, there was an interview between Cassell and Alan Colmes on the radio last Friday. Colmes tried to understand why, exactly, Cassell hates the healthcare reform act so much. Cassell argued that the new law allows officials to cut "all supportive care, like nursing homes, ambulance services."

Colmes: What do you mean they're cutting nursing homes?

Cassell: They're cutting nursing home reimbursements.

Colmes: Isn't what they're cutting under the Medicare plan what was really double dipping; they were getting credits and they were getting to deduct them at the same time. [emphasis mine]

Cassell: Well you know, I can't tell you exactly what the deal is.

Colmes: If you can't tell us exactly what the deal is, why are you opposing it and fighting against it?

Cassell said that he'd seen some things "online" .. also that the information he needs to understand the law "should be available to me."

My god man, where have you been? The information IS available to you .. has been for months. And now, because you didn't do your homework, and got your information from Fox News hysterics, you are driving patients away .. patients who probably know more than you do about the law you hate.

Besides. when did Medicare start paying for nursing homes?

Isn't it ironic that those who holler the loudest about healthcare reform are also the most ignorant about the bill. It'd be funny if it weren't so pathetic.

BTW -- For all Cassell's whining about "cutting nursing homes" .. the National Association of Home Care and Hospice praised the Democratic plan.

When you think about it, Cassell may actually be doing his patients a favor .. because if he can't be bothered to find out what he's talking about, then maybe he can't be bothered to keep up on the latest medical procedures either.

A story that won't go away .. or, Texas has schoolbooks? Who knew!?

Hey kids! Betcha didn't know this -- black people, back around the 1800's? They actually liked being slaves. Yeah, many of them even volunteered for this position .. probably for the job security, free food and housing.

And the slavery business was working out just fine for the slaves and plantation owners .. until them dang lib'ruls came along and ruined everything.

I know .. what a shame. But, it's the truth .. you'll soon be able to read about it in your history book!

These facts -- and many more just like them -- are brought to you by the Texas State Board of Education.

Seriously now -- thirty percent of Texans believe humans and dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time .. another 30 percent aren't sure. Only 40 percent think that dinosaurs predated humans by a few millennia.

So when somebody tells Texans that the President of the United States is secretly a Muslim who was born in Kenya, and that an evil group of conspirators planted those announcements of his birth in two Honolulu newspapers, they will swallow anything whole.

From McClatchy Newspapers: "The right is rewriting history.

The most ballyhooed effort is under way in Texas, where conservatives have pushed the state school board to rewrite guidelines, downplaying Thomas Jefferson in one high school course, playing up such conservatives as Phyllis Schlafly and the Heritage Foundation and challenging the idea that the Founding Fathers wanted to separate church and state.

The effort reaches far beyond one state, however.

In articles and speeches, on radio and TV, conservatives are working to redefine major turning points and influential figures in American history, often to slam liberals, promote Republicans and reinforce their positions in today's politics.

The Jamestown settlers? Socialists. Founding Father Alexander Hamilton? Ill-informed professors made up all that bunk about him advocating a strong central government.

Theodore Roosevelt? Another socialist. Franklin D. Roosevelt? Not only did he not end the Great Depression, he also created it.

Joe McCarthy? Liberals lied about him. He was a hero.[..]"...........

What's next? Ben Franklin interfered with God's will by inventing the lightning rod? Hey, they actually said that back then.

At a Tea Party rally -- attended by some school board members -- one speaker railed that schools should teach only what is positive about America .. including those "positive aspects of slavery."

"Positive aspects of slavery"! I kid you not.

And they're trying to turn all our Founding Fathers into devout Christians who based our system of government on Bible teachin's .. not mentioning all the different ideologies that formed our founding.

All this would be laughable if it weren't for the fact that the Texas board is highly influential on textbook publishing nationwide .. due to that state's consolidated selection process. They have a lot of say about what's included in everybody's school text books.

So look for a kinder, simpler - and untrue - version of history coming to your child's schoolbooks soon

.. it just means more for us big gub'ment libruls.

Seriously, isn’t it ironic that all those teabagger defenders of the Constitution suddenly have a problem with the constitutional US Census?

They say they love the Constitution .. but then all of a sudden they get amnesia and come out against things that everybody thought all Americans had agreed on and supported for over 200 years.

Like they all just fell into America out of the sky, with zero basic knowledge of United States history, economics, law, civics or anything else.

But wait, a Republican steps up to speak out. Rep. Patrick McHenry (NC) is worried that Republicans who spread "blatant misinformation" to discourage fellow conservatives from filling out their census forms, are actually helping big gub'ment libruls. Seems this fearmongering will have some very serious consequences.

He has statistics showing that conservatives are less likely than liberals to fill out census forms.

Sure enough, census data shows that rural - and very conservative - Texas districts have some of the lowest return rates in the country. 27 percent so far.

McHenry says, "Few things will make Nancy Pelosi happier than large numbers of conservatives failing to respond to the census. If we do not respond, we will not be counted and if we are not counted, then we effectively will not exist. That would reduce conservatives' power in elections, allow Democrats to draw more favorable congressional boundaries, and help put more tax-hiking politicians in office."

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) told her followers last year to ignore the census. She's made outlandish claims about internment camps, and bragged last June that she would not fill her form, in violation of federal law.

Meanwhile, back at the right-wing media ranch, Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh urged their listeners to not fully complete their forms .. with Beck warning that answering the race question would somehow "increase slavery."

Geez, the race question has been asked since 1790 .. so saying "that this question makes this year’s census unconstitutional is absurd."

Also, in a thinly veiled rebuff of Beck, Limbaugh, and Bachmann, McHenry wrote that "calls to only partially fill out census forms…feed a climate of mistrust in the census and need to be refuted."

Wonder how long before wingnuts run McHenry out of town?

But, that's okay, it's no skin off my nose if wingnuts want to shrink the political power of Texas .. whose counties with the lowest return rates have the highest rates of Republicans.

That's just fine wingnuts, do what you like. It's a free country. Go ahead and trash your census form .. you just won't be part of the statistics they use for proportional political representation, and the allocation of federal funds for roads, schools and hospitals.

Thank goodness Democrats understand the important role the census plays in the political landscape.

Congressman McHenry is right -- Nancy Pelosi will be laughing all the way to the voting booth.

And you wingnuts think the government doesn't listen to you now? Wait till they don't know you're there.