Sooner Blue

"Rick Santorum calls himself the only true conservative in the race. He is so conservative he thinks Levitra is a pill that helps you throw a football through a tire swing." –Jay Leno

"He is so conservative, he won't even use the phrase ‘get ahold of yourself.’ That's how conservative." –Jay Leno

"This weekend 71-year-old former Vice President Dick Cheney received a heart transplant. And I thought this was nice — they let him shoot the donor himself." –Jay Leno

"Fox News sent Dick Cheney flowers. MSNBC sent chili cheese fries." –Jay Leno

"Newt Gingrich's campaign is broke. All the money gone. So now he's charging $50 for a photo. And for $100 you can marry him." –David Letterman

"Over the weekend they gave Dick Cheney a heart transplant. Finally all of those midnight trips to the graveyard with the hunchbacked assistant have paid off." –David Letterman

"Dick Cheney was talking to a reporter right after the surgery and he said he wants to live long enough to make sure nobody else gets healthcare." –David Letterman

"Congratulations to Tiger Woods on his 1st win in 30 months. Now the guy who's gone the longest without a win is Newt Gingrich." –Jay Leno

"Yesterday on CNN, White House adviser David Plouffe referred to the Republican presidential race as a ‘clown show.’ That’s as rough as it gets on CNN. Romney, Santorum, Paul, and Gingrich all called the statement ridiculous and then piled into one tiny car and drove off." –Jimmy Fallon

"’The Hunger Games’ is opening this weekend. The movie is based on the books where people are chosen in a lottery to compete in a televised battle to the death. Why can't we do this to the Republican primaries? Wouldn't that be great?" –Jay Leno

"Mitt Romney got a big endorsement this week. The bad news: It was from Etch A Sketch." –Jay Leno

"Rick Santorum said he’s not an Etch-A-Sketch. He said what you see is what you get, and also because turning the two knobs is a little too much like playing with boobies." –Bill Maher

"Then he held up the Etch-A-Sketch and Sarah Palin said, 'Hey, give me back my iPad.'" –Bill Maher

"This law they have in Florida, this "stand your ground’ law where you can use can use any amount of force if you think there is some amount of perceived threat; good thing they don’t’ have that here because my lawn would be littered with Jehovah’s Witnesses." –Bill Maher

"New Rule: Now that John Boehner has cried while listening to traditional Irish music at the St. Patrick's Day luncheon it's not funny anymore. Seriously, John, tell us: where did the priest touch you? Show me on the doll." –Bill Maher

"There are reports that John Edwards visited a brothel here in New York while running for president and paid with campaign funds. Do you realize what this could do to his reputation? Absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing to that man’s reputation." –Jimmy Fallon

"Today is Ann and Mitt Romney's 43rd wedding anniversary. This means that 43 years ago Mitt proposed to his wife and due to a weak field of candidates, she said yes." –Conan O'Brien

"Yesterday the prime minister of Ireland made President Obama an honorary Irishman. As a result, President Obama awoke this morning with a hangover and a job at the fire department." –Conan O'Brien

"John McCain's daughter Megan is going to be in the April issue of Playboy. I'm just glad John's not alive to see this." –David Letterman

"President Obama is calling on Iran to give its citizens better access to the Internet. Right now they only have one social networking site: 'Cover-Your-Face Book.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"When I heard the Republicans were in President Obama's home state, I said, 'They're holding a primary in Kenya?'" –Craig Ferguson

"Some top Republicans are urging Newt Gingrich to leave the race, but he says he's sticking around. If they could get him to marry the race, he would probably leave it eventually." –Jimmy Kimmel

"That’s right — Rick Santorum was seen lying on the beach without his shirt on. He would have worn sunscreen, but he’s not really into protection." –Jimmy Fallon

"Rick Santorum said he's not worried about unemployment. Well, he will be in November." –David Letterman

[a tip of the hat to Daniel Kurtzman, CBS, NBC, ABC, TBS, HBO, and Comedy Central]

To me this story is about an unarmed teenaged kid who was walking back from a corner store with a bag of candy and a soft drink, talking to his girlfriend on the phone, when he noticed he was being followed by someone he did not know, someone who got out of a truck wearing a pistol and advanced toward him, confronted him, scared him enough that he tried to first run, then defend himself .. a violent scuffle ensued, a gun went off, and the kid is dead. We'll never know the exact details .. no matter how many secret witnesses the shooter's lawyer conveniently digs up.

I heard the neighbor's 911 call of the scuffle, the call for help .. the actual shot. It made me feel sick.

We do know that the shooter was taken to the PD and questioned .. a shooter who had a record, a history of violence, who was arrested for assault on a police officer in 2005 .. who was arrested for domestic violence in 2007 when his girlfriend got a restraining order against him.

But the police took the shooter's word that he was attacked .. they let him walk free that night .. they did not collect any evidence from him, not his gun, not his clothing, no blood tests, nothing. Nothing.

Keep in mind that the shooter was not a qualified trained law official .. only a neighborhood watch volunteer .. and he was breaking the rules by carrying a gun.

I'm wondering if there are police photos of the shooter's broken nose and the wounds to his head. Was he treated at a hospital? Is there a hospital record?

If there really were serious injuries, the heart of this case will be - if you start a fight and you are losing it, does the "Stand Your Ground" law give you the right to claim self defense if you shoot the other guy dead?

BTW - couldn't the concept of "Stand Your Ground" apply to the dead victim? If a stranger follows you, who you can see is armed - the PD said he was wearing his gun in a holster on his waist - and gets within arm distance, do you then under the Florida "Stand Your Ground" law, have the right to meet force with force?

You'd think that all shootings leading to death would be fully investigated.

But, when pressed, State Attorney Wolfinger said there was not sufficient evidence to make an arrest. What evidence? They took the shooter's word for everything. An unarmed kid lay dead and they didn't even take the shooter's gun as evidence .. no ballistics evidence .. no forensics evidence .. no site evidence.

Did the Stanford PD try to avoid arresting the shooter because it would show their total lack of competence? This is where my mind is leaning, but I want to know the truth .. I’m waiting for someone to lay out a chain of events that would justify the killing.

The FBI is involved now, and hopefully we'll learn more facts .. last night we learned that the lead homicide investigator in the case wanted to file manslaughter charges against the shooter, but was overruled by prosecutors.

Guess the facts exonerating the shooter weren’t as obvious as we’d been led to believe.

Everybody who is riled up and spouting off should just cool it, stop the ugly comments and insinuations .. let all the facts come out .. it takes time.

Anger only escalates and reverberates in a hundred different directions .. ugly directions. I condemn the vigilante mentality .. that, so far, has only "The New Black Panther Party" doing crazy things. Is a White Militia group far behind? Is an all out Race War in the streets what everybody has been waiting for?

What really turns my stomach the most is the demonization of the victim .. as if smoking pot and high school disciplinary problems are relevant to the case of an unarmed 17 year kid being shot dead because someone didn't like his looks.

Yes, the dead kid's mother moved to trademark her son's name .. I would do the same to protect my son's name .. to prevent outsiders from printing memorabilia to profit from my son's death.

I would also fight for an investigation into my son's death, using whatever means possible .. it took almost a month of these parents kicking up a fuss to bring about a decent investigation.

The one fact that nobody is arguing - if the shooter had heeded police advice, 'we don`t need you to do this, we don`t need you to chase him' - then the kid would be alive today.

Here is our illustrious VP at a recent White House reception for Irish Prime Minister Enda Kenny, introducing Kenny and his wife:

"There's all kinds of old Irish sayings ... At least my Grandfather Finnegan, I think he made them up, but it says, may the hinges of our friendship never go rusty. Well, with these two folks that you're about to meet, if you haven't already, there's no doubt about them staying oiled and lubricated here. Ladies and gentlemen—now, for you who are not full Irish in this room, lubricating has a different meaning for us all."

May the hinges of Joe's mouth always stay lubricated .. I get such a kick out of ol' Foot-in-the-Mouth .. the anti-Cheney.

BTW - he's known to be a teetotaler, so it's a natural talent.

"Here’s how nice it was here on the Eastern Seaboard. It was such a beautiful day today that Mitt Romney was riding on the roof of his car." –David Letterman

"Mitt Romney is so rich, he taught his dog to roll over . . . an IRA." –Jay Leno

"Rick Santorum wants to crack down on pornography. Most political analysts say it could hurt him with the ‘every single man in America’ vote." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Santorum said when he’s in the White House he’ll tell his attorney general to prosecute people who distribute any content that is deemed obscene. Will he appoint a team to watch porn all day? If so, he could solve the unemployment crisis." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Donald Trump's sons shot and killed endangered animals on a safari. They got an elephant, a crocodile, and that thing on their dad’s head." –Jimmy Fallon

"March Madnesss…the only place where you hear ‘Kansas is advancing.’" –Bill Maher

"First Santorum is against the gays, then contraception, now porn. This guy is more backed up than the 405." –Bill Maher

"Rick Santorum said this week that his 12-year-old could out-reason me about God. Look, I am not about to debate a home-schooled twelve-year-old. I have enough trouble with Sarah Palin." –Bill Maher

"Mitt Romney is determined to win the Southerners back for the general election. His slogan down there is - ‘Oh right, like you’re gonna vote for the black guy.’" –Bill Maher

"This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty – unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp." –Stephen Colbert

"The Army is pulling out of Rush Limbaugh. Meanwhile, they're staying in Afghanistan to negotiate with the Taliban, who evidently have a better track record on women's issues." –Stephen Colbert, on the U.S. Army pulling ads from Rush Limbaugh's radio show

"If you want to avoid getting pregnant there is only one surefire way: be a man." –Stephen Colbert

"More and more Republicans are calling on Newt Gingrich to drop out of the campaign. Well, I don't want to say things look bad for Newt, but his ex-wives now are starting to outnumber his supporters." –Jay Leno

"Rick Santorum says if elected president, he'll crack down on Internet porn. You thought he was alienating female voters with that birth control thing? Oh, guys are gonna be leaving in droves." –Jay Leno

"Yesterday Rick Santorum greeted the locals by telling them if Puerto Rico wants to become a state, they need to start speaking English. Only Rick Santorum would go to someone's native land and tell them they're speaking the wrong language." –Jimmy Kimmel

[a tip of the hat to Daniel Kurtzman, CBS, NBC, ABC, TBS, HBO, and Comedy Central]

This cracked me up:

How many clowns can you fit on top of a car?

What a gloriously apt - but awful - metaphor .. and like Seamus, the GOP will run away once Romney reaches his destination.

There is a little difference: I felt sorry for the dog.

Seriously folks, the more Democrats stay home because they're complacent .. or disappointed because President Chocolate Jesus didn't buy them a pony, the more likely it is that Republicans retain the House and retake the Senate .. and don't forget, the Supreme Court could be lost for years.

Get out and vote.

"March Madness goes from 64 teams to 32 to 16 to 8 to 4 to 2 and then 1. It's how Rush Limbaugh loses sponsors." –David Letterman

"If you are a multimillionaire entertainer supporting the candidacy of a wealthy financier from Massachusetts, you might no longer be a redneck." –Stephen Colbert on Jeff Foxworthy campaigning with Mitt Romney

"How about those Republican presidential candidates. Newt Gingrich is behind in delegates. But he's leading in chins." –David Letterman

"So Newt Gingrich is looking for a vice presidential running mate. Being Newt's VP is like being a Kardashian husband. It's going to be over quickly." –David Letterman

"Rick Santorum has been on a roll lately. CNN came up with a clever word for this — Santorumentum. Are they serious? It sounds like something you put under your nose or the name of a drug." –Jimmy Kimmel

"Rick Santorum won Alabama and Mississippi, and Mitt Romney won Hawaii and American Samoa. Here's a little mnemonic device to help you remember. Places you can get to in a Winnebago, go to Santorum. Places that require a jet or a yacht, go to Romney." –Jon Stewart

"Newt Gingrich has promised to cut the price of gas to $2.50 a gallon. It's not catching on with voters. How bad a candidate are you that people are willing to pay higher gas prices just to keep you out of office?" –Jay Leno

"Rush Limbaugh is losing advertisers. Crisco was one and then he lost Hostess Cupcakes. Now the only advertiser Rush has left on his radio show is Conrad Murray's Sleep Clinic." –David Letterman

"Happy birthday to Mitt Romney, he’s 65 years old. At his party, he didn't blow out the candles. He gave a speech and the candles just flickered and died." –Jay Leno

"How about that Rush Limbaugh? It was nice for me to see somebody else apologizing for something for a change." –David Letterman

"Don't kid yourself, Rush is in a lot of trouble. He's down to two national sponsors. You know what they are? One is Crisco, and the other is Hostess Twinkies." –David Letterman

"The latest polls show President Obama’s approval rating among women has risen by 10 percent. Many people believe this increase is due to Obama’s new campaign slogan: ‘Tell me about your day.’" –Conan O'Brien

"This week a Chicken McNugget that resembles President George Washington was auctioned on eBay for over $8,000. Meanwhile, a Chicken McNugget that looks like Mitt Romney was eaten by Newt Gingrich." –Conan O’Brien

"A phone survey found 70 percent of Americans support legalizing marijuana. I can’t believe that many marijuana supporters managed to answer the phone." –Craig Ferguson

[a tip of the hat to Daniel Kurtzman, CBS, NBC, ABC, TBS, HBO, and Comedy Central]

"Here’s an actual quote. Romney was in Mississippi yesterday, and he said, ‘I’m learning to say y’all, and I like grits.’ And then he took out a pair of pliers and yanked out three of his teeth." –Bill Maher

"Rick Santorum has come out against contraception and against college. He wants us literally to be f**king stupid." –Bill Maher

"That Mitt Romney, he is a master campaigner. This week he was introducing his wife, and he said, ‘She is the heavyweight champion of my life." Which may explain why on the ride home, he was strapped to the roof of the car." –Bill Maher

"Rick Santorum nearly won Ohio, despite a flood of ads that said that Rick Santorum is a creepy, far-right, socially backward extremist – and those were his ads. That’s how he sells himself." –Bill Maher

"To recap the Republican views on women: you can’t have birth control, you’re sluts, and you’re fat. Vote for me in November everyone." –Bill Maher

"Poor Mitt Romney. He can’t get the hang of campaigning like a regular guy. He’s always remind people of his vast wealth. Today he demanded to see Obama’s gift certificate." –Bill Maher

"Romney is not a regular guy. He was campaigning in Mississippi this week and said ‘some of my best friends spill oil in this gulf.’" –Bill Maher

"In the south, Mitt is going to have trouble with the whole Mormon thing. When he says sister wife down there, it means a whole different thing." –Bill Maher

"Rush Limbaugh has lost so many advertisers that on Thursday there was five minutes on his show of dead air. And most observers agree he’s never been so eloquent. "–Bill Maher"Just for sh**s and giggles, John McCain must make a speech on the Senate floor where he calls on America to not bomb someone. This week, John McCain said we needed to bomb Syria. Because he's John McCain. And it's a country. Duh. John McCain thinks countries need bombing like your waiter thinks food needs fresh pepper. Remember how we let John Glenn go back into space when he was 77? We should let John McCain fly one more airstrike. He's only 75. Let him do it. Then, when he crashes, we can send John Glenn to rescue him, and Ed Harris can play them both in the movie." –Bill Maher

"Don't pay eight thousand dollars for a McNugget that looks like George Washington. At least until you have Sarah Palin authenticate it. She could tell you if it really resembles the father of our country, the man who won the war on Christmas, crossed the Danube, signed the Declaration of Constitution, and accepted the surrender of Cornwallis at Funkytown. But Newt Gingrich is a historian too, but don't show it to him or he'll just eat it." –Bill Maher

[a tip of the hat to Daniel Kurtzman, HBO, and Real Time]

Here is an example of the emotional pain these inhuman anti-abortion laws can cause a woman.

'We Have No Choice': One Woman's Ordeal with Texas' New Sonogram Law

"...The doctor and nurse were professional and kind, and it was clear that they understood our sorrow. They too apologized for what they had to do next. For the third time that day, I exposed my stomach to an ultrasound machine, and we saw images of our sick child forming in blurred outlines on the screen.

"I’m so sorry that I have to do this," the doctor told us, "but if I don’t, I can lose my license." ...

If this War on Women keeps up, it won't be long before there'll be talk about how to set up an underground railroad to provide women with legitimate medical care. We can't just abandon these women in the crazy states who really need our help.

Remember, a couple of years ago, when those Tea Party legislators were screaming about how the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act - "Obamacare" - would allow government bureaucrats to micromanage people’s medical decisions....

Not only is Rush Limbaugh in trouble .. so is the entire right-wing hate radio industry.

3/9/12 - "When it comes to advertisers avoiding controversial shows, it's not just Rush"

From today’s TRI Newsletter: Premiere Networks is circulating a list of 98 advertisers who want to avoid "environments likely to stir negative sentiments." The list includes carmakers (Ford, GM, Toyota), insurance companies (Allstate, Geico, Prudential, State Farm) and restaurants (McDonald’s, Subway). As you’ll see in the note below, those "environments" go beyond the Rush Limbaugh show:

"To all Traffic Managers: The information below applies to your Premiere Radio Networks commercial inventory. More than 350 different advertisers sponsor the programs and services provided to your station on a barter basis. Like advertisers that purchase commercials on your radio station from your sales staff, our sponsors communicate specific rotations, daypart preferences and advertising environments they prefer… They’ve specifically asked that you schedule their commercials in dayparts or programs free of content that you know are deemed to be offensive or controversial (for example, Mark Levin, Rush Limbaugh, Tom Leykis, Michael Savage, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity). Those are defined as environments likely to stir negative sentiment from a very small percentage of the listening public."

Rush shoulda just stuck to savaging politicians and celebrities .. and left private citizens alone.

Although I'll never forget him calling young Chelsea Clinton a "dog" .. I forgot what nasty thing he said about Amy Carter.

I also get a feelin' - maybe the Republican Establishment is trying to rid themselves of Rush .. he may have outlived his usefulness. His demographic of angry old white guys may be dying off, literally .. because the more hateful his rhetoric, the more he turns off women and young people .. or rather, the more they're turning him off.

So, Rush can screech "It's the liberals" all he wants, but I sense a palace coup here .. betcha the old-guard Republicans would be tickled pink to be rid of King Rush.

In the beginning I turned my nose up at Twitter and Facebook .. not dreaming how valuable they'd be as political tools. While Rush was on his 3-day rant savaging Ms. Fluke, social media was busy organizing, creating a grassroots movement .. with messages zinging back and forth across this country in seconds .. voicing grievances, getting heard at the top of corporate headquarters.

I read about his program having dead air ...

Before I overdose on schadenfreud, I have to seriously say that I believe in Free Speech and don't want Rush Limbaugh to be taken completely off the air - his voice has a right to be heard. He just has to learn where that line is that you do not cross.

"I thought the election was gonna be all about the economy. But the economy started doing better. So Republicans went to plan b: calling women whores." –Bill Maher

"This woman [Sandra Fluke] got a call from the President. President Obama called her to thank her for her testimony. And then President Clinton called Obama to get her number." –Bill Maher

"Rush Limbaugh: four wives he’s had – no children. Dude, you are birth control." –Bill Maher

"This gas thing is not funny. We are looking at five dollar a gallon gasoline. Mitt Romney's wife filled up both her Cadillacs today and now she’s one of the poor people he doesn't give a sh*t about." –Bill Maher

"Now that Snooki is pregnant, somebody has to ask Rick Santorum, ‘Are you still against contraception?’" –Bill Maher

"New Rule: Sheriff Joe Arpaio can't expect to get any credibility investigating the President's birth certificate if he insists on calling the investigators his "posse." Arpaio's self-appointed "Cold Case Posse" reported yesterday that Obama's birth certificate MIGHT be a forgery. Well, good thing they cleared that up. Who ever heard of a posse being unfair to a black man?" –Bill Maher

"This country can't be knocked out with one punch .. we get right back up again .. the world is going to hear the roar of our engines. Yeah, it's halftime America .. and, our second half is about to begin."

Hopefully, President Obama's second half.

Because when I stop to think of the economic carnage we faced after the meltdown .. remembering the difficult and dangerous job it was to pull the country out of its nose dive, I appreciate that Obama's policies really put us on track to better days ahead.

He makes me proud to be an American .. he has the intelligence, character, and temperament to lead this country.

Imagine the Arab Spring with John bomb-bomb-Iran McCain in charge ....

Obama should try Reagan's slogan - "are you better off now than you were four years ago?" Because we are better off .. the stock market has doubled .. unemployment has turned around .. Osama bin Laden is dead and the auto industry is alive.....consumer confidence is on the up-swing .. a war has ended .. North Korea is talking .. Iran is bending a little .. millions more Americans have healthcare ....

And all the Republicans can do is argue about birth certificates and birth control.

Where do they want to take the country? Women would say back to the Stone Age. The neo-GOP has gone from "Keep the government out of my health care!" to mandating that the state shove 10 inch probes into the vaginas of women and girls who seek an early term abortion. That means if a 14 y/o girl was raped and impregnated .. well, you know what it means.

It’s difficult to imagine what else Republicans can do to drive away women voters in 2012, unless they decide to bring back witch-hanging.

"Rush knows about these things! He knows that in order to have sex with a girl, he has to slip her a pill, first!"

I love how Colbert analyzed the "apology" about using "two words" .. then showed the remainder of the offensive rant. "Who paid for your condoms when you were in junior high?" ~ "Sounds like you're having so much sex you can't walk" ~ "They must be lined up around the block" .. etc., etc, etc. .. a rant that lasted for three days. Colbert showed only a small portion of it.

I swear, if only today's "professional journalists" were as dedicated to getting the truth out there as today's "comedians" .. it's a shame that the truth has to be buried in satire in order to get the public to pay attention.

One important truth - all Fluke did was testify that BC pills should be covered in her school's health insurance plan .. like other medications (such as Viagra) .. an insurance plan that students, not taxpayers, pay for. Her school refuses because of religious reasons. She told of her friend losing an ovary because she couldn't afford BC pills .. which would've stopped the growth of ovarian cysts. See, BC is used for many reasons other than family planning.

Another thing - I was shocked to learn that so many older men are really ignorant about BC pills. Sounds like they think you have to take a pill every time you have sex. Wrong. You take one a day whether you have sex or not.

Also ~ just in case you might need this .. it doesn't take long.